


Sort of Heroes

by chill_mee



Category: Original Work
Genre: Boys In Love, Dorks in Love, F/M, High School, M/M, Slice of Life, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 56,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chill_mee/pseuds/chill_mee
Summary: Boy meets boy, boy meets girl, boy in love with best friend, and boy meets teacher. Played around with a bunch of clichés and came up with this lovely mix.Camden, Ezekiel, Conrad, Melissa, Raleigh, and Levi are seniors at Eleanor Roosevelt's, each one of them dealing with the constant anxiety of high school and trying to fight the uncertainty of the future away. Amy is the high school sweetheart, Meryl the History teacher. Trying to portray love as it happens.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” —Jane Austen.

“We should make out,” said Cam.

“Maybe not,” said Amy.

They were loitering in the front steps of the Eleanor Roosevelt High School, a solemn red-brick building which had had the pleasure of receiving them into its halls for a few years now. The early morning was just blossoming with warmth, and Cam was leaning against a pillar like a lazy cat, ignoring the annoyed looks people sent him when they had to move around him flawlessly. He had a harder job ignoring Amy’s squinting face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Because obviously you’ve been taken by the Body Snatchers,” said Amy. “Making out, Cam? Really? Oh, hi, Sarah. How did your summer swimming class go?”

“Good!” said the tiny brown-haired girl. Her whole face was a mess of freckles - because he couldn’t be bothered into remembering her name, Cam called her Cookie. “Actually, I wanted to thank you for telling me about it, it really helped me—”

“Get lost,” said Cam. When Amy gave him a look, he backtracked: “Kindly get lost.”

The girl blinked, seemingly at a loss for words. Amy murmured a promise to talk with her in Lit, and she left with one last bewildered glance over her shoulder. Cam crossed his arms.

“I hate that you’re popular,” he said. “It’s disgusting. You should hate anything with a heartbeat, like me.”

Amy rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Still rude, though. I suppose not even the Body Snatchers can ignore gravity, the laws of thermodynamics or Camden Fairchild’s cattiness—”

She stopped talking when he grabbed her and pulled her close. They stood together under the shade, staring unashamedly. Amy felt that his face was as familiar as her own – the sharp lines, the unkind mouth and the wicked spark of his eyes – all of it was as dear to her as the softness of his hands around her shoulders and the dark hair cut too short to grab. That was how she knew he had broken up with his summer fling, a tall boy with lashes like feather dusters who had chatted him up in the cinema while Amy was buying their popcorn (it wasn’t a good idea to allow Cam to wait in lines – he tended to passive-aggressively push people out of the way with his elbows). When he’d been fourteen and she thirteen, he’d seen a documental about Indian widows, and now every time he ended one of his romances – quick and passionate like forest fires, flaring to life out of nowhere – he looked like he was two steps away from going to military school.

Or he would’ve looked like that, anyway, if it wasn’t for the liquid set of his shoulders and the fact that Cam’s father thought military schools were for posh teenagers who got their equally posh girlfriends pregnant.

“This is getting awkward,” she said, when a sufficiently long time had passed. Cam rubbed a finger under her right eye, as if smoothing a lash away – and gazed lightning-quick over her shoulder. Amy sighed. “Cam, really?”

“Some imbecile is looking at you,” said Cam, as if she was being the unreasonable one. “Jesus. Maybe you should wear a paper bag over your head. What do you think?”

Amy made a thoughtful noise. “How about I lick sand instead? No. What’s wrong with you? You said you wouldn’t even fake-flirt with girls last year,” she pointed out when he let his hand go and shifted in that way that meant he was about to lie. “Remember? When you pretended to squeeze Melissa’s breasts and she actually woke up enough to laugh in your face?”

Cam’s face harshened with irritation. “She would be lucky to have me fancying her if I preferred vaginas. Although of course,” he added with the air of someone saying an undeniable truth, “I would be in love with you. Of course.”

“So you’d only use her for the sex,” said Amy. “That’s nice.”

Cam smirked. “Raleigh’s face was pretty priceless anyway, my homosexuality notwithstanding. I hope he keeps dithering this year as well. I enjoy his suffering.”

“You’re awful,” Amy told him, sighing deeply.

So why did she like him so much? Perhaps because for all his cruelty – and it was cruelty, Amy didn’t enjoy lying to herself – Cam loved so fiercely anyone who dared to touch the people he liked ended with cut, blood-stained fingers. And because when she had been a child, knees unsure and toys freshly unpacked, he’d stared at her for forty-five minutes in the playground before marching up to her and telling her, frank and bold and unafraid, I like you. Be my friend. And she’d smiled, like apple juice spilling over, just bursting out of her, said—

“Yeah, sure,” said Cam, unaffected. “If you want.” He glanced over her shoulder again. Rolled his eyes. “Hey, d’you think we should go in already—”

“But—” But we’re waiting for Raleigh, she meant to say. He’d gone over to Melissa’s house to ensure that she’d get up (since she said they never did anything the first day of class) and it was tradition for all of them to enter together, because Amy thought it brought them luck. Cam said it was the magic power of friendship, but what did he know? He still held hands with her.

Except that behind her, a hesitant voice said, “Um…”

Amy turned around automatically. That sounded like a freshman in distress – Cam called them chicks because they never quit bothering Amy, also known as Mother Hen Extraordinaire. And so the word “Yes?” was already coming out of her throat before she looked at him, which was a good thing – because he wasn’t a freshman.

He wasn’t a freshman at all.

“Hey,” he said. He had dark hair with a hint of curl and slightly mournful eyes – like a puppy’s. Like Cam, he stood with a sort of melting languidness – but unlike Cam, there was a lack of sharp edges in him. He was like a sun-warmed stone, smoothed clean by sand. “Sorry to bother you,” he said, his gaze lingering on Cam’s hand on her arm. “It’s just – I’m new here, and I can’t figure out where the office is?” He shrugged, a loose, embarrassed motion. “I can’t seem to find it.”

“Ah – sure,” said Amy, ignoring Camden’s tightening fingers – a warning grip. “It’s because there have been some additions in late years. So the office is that way.” She pointed towards the right. “Around the corner. That used to be the front of the school when it was smaller.”

“Nowadays,” said Cam, dragging his words through mud and blood and salt, “they just accept anybody, don’t they?”

“You should be grateful for it,” Amy told him, “Didn’t you fail Gym twice?”

“Only because I skipped,” said Cam defensively, still staring at the new boy. “Like I’m gonna sweat for forty-five minutes chasing after a silly little ball or, god forbid, playing tennis. I’d rather hang myself by my own intestines.”

“You’re always so creative,” said Amy, trying to be positive. “That’s – that’s really good – um.” She looked at the beautiful, beautiful boy. “Um. I’m sorry. D’you need us to accompany—”

Cam hissed like a snake: “Us?”

“—d’you need us to go with you—”

The boy blinked, a bit startled. “Ah – no, thanks. It’s…” He looked back at Cam. Took a step back. “It’s fine. Thanks for your help.”

He turned around and started to walk away, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck like he couldn’t stay still. The edge of his T-shirt rode up and Amy glimpsed lightly tanned skin, awfully soft-looking. Her knees were weak again – like when she’d been little and hadn’t known anybody – except that this had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with wanting to walk beside him and hold his hand, and not like Cam and she did it – nothing about that family bone-deep surety of safety. She wanted her fingers to sparkle, she wanted her palms to burn. Her mouth went slack, wistful.

“Hey,” she said. Her voice sounded strange – a bit high. Behind her Cam took a step closer and embraced her, an arm around her waist, probably staring at the boy through her hair like the absolute creep he was. “Hey – wait – what’s your name?”

He looked at her for a long moment. Amy didn’t know anyone who could do that except Levi and Melissa – but Levi was all malice wrapped in beauty and Melissa mostly tried to remember what they were talking about, always half asleep – Amy couldn’t stay quiet in the middle of a conversation like that. She would’ve felt awkward. She would’ve worried for ages.

In the end, he just said in his quiet voice, “Ezekiel.”

He left. Cam sighed against her ear, exasperated. “He wasn’t that good-looking, Amy. Honestly.”

But his eyes, she wanted to say. Like sweet embers. When he looked at her…

“Yes,” she said, dreamy. “Sure.”

She hadn’t wanted him to stop.

 

His hands were still hot when he sat behind the wheel of Levi’s dad’s car and shut the door with a faint click. He’d forgotten to wear his favourite jersey and his arms prickled with cold – it was a sunny day, but this early in the morning the last shade of frost still looked over her own shoulder. At his side, Levi was staring out the window. When he was quiet and faraway like now, the golden sheen of summer still on his skin and lashes low and sleepy, Raleigh could almost understand why the girls at school went faint and pink whenever he looked at them. Objectively, Levi was kind of pretty (in a completely platonic way).

“You took ages,” said Levi without moving in the slightest. “Must be hard to be Melissa’s keeper.”

Objectively, he was also an absolute cretin.

“Her dad asked me,” said Raleigh, starting the car. The first day of school they borrowed Levi’s dad’s car – which for one had a nice paint job, and probably all its papers in order. Raleigh had worked summers, cleaned backyards and, in one memorable occasion, even tried for a babysitting job to gather enough money to buy his own car – and it wasn’t anything to write home about.

He supposed he should’ve felt lucky that Levi was too lazy to drive himself – last year Raleigh had gotten sick after Melissa fell asleep at a pool party and he had to fish her out of the water (Melissa, of course, was fine), and Levi had found his one and only girlfriend… just so she could give him a ride for school. As soon as Raleigh was fine, Levi had drifted away from her. Two weeks later Amy tried to ask him about her when Levi came over to play videogames, and Levi stared blankly at Amy for a whole minute.

Plus, he already had to feel lucky with Lisa.

“Her dad asked you,” said Levi. His tone of voice wasn’t mocking. His face remained placid. But he turned his head to smile at Raleigh – a dimple flashed – and Raleigh rolled his eyes. It was plain he was mocking him.

“Don’t be an asshole,” he said. “What if I kick you out of this moving car? How would your dad feel?”

“Well, I think he might declare vengeance and run you over with it. He quite enjoys poetic justice.”

Their bickering was interrupted by Melissa shifting around in the backseat. Her hat was pulled low over her forehead – just enough that one could confuse its shade with the one that Lisa’s eyelashes cast. Her cheeks were faintly pink. Her hands gripped her sweater, as if clutching a security blanket. Raleigh held his breath, let it go, and licked his lips.

He knew how weird he was being, because he almost crashed the car when Levi said, lazy and wicked: “Freshmen year Melissa and I slept together.”

“What!”

“I’m just kidding,” said Levi. “We were on that stupid overnight trip to middle-of-nowhere countryside to grope cows and learn to be one with the wilderness, or whatever, and we fell asleep together at the back of the bus.”

“Where was I?” asked Raleigh, frowning. He remembered the trip. He’d dared Oliver Moore to suck milk straight from the cow – and Oliver had done it. Raleigh had lost five dollars but won an everlasting memory. Also, a photograph that he kept in the middle of his dresser, in a place of honour. Everything else was kind of blurred.

“At the front,” said Levi. “Making nice with that blond boy.”

“Which one?”

“The gay one.”

Conrad. “He’s cool,” said Raleigh honestly. “Bit too nice – has that whole… wholesome thing going on, but he’s funny.”

“I talk to you,” said Levi, sounding puzzled. “I talk to your sister. I talk to Melissa and Camden, when I must. Don’t you think that’s enough people?”

He wondered what it would be like, when Levi fell in love. Sometimes he imagined that he never would – that Levi would just keep watching B-list actresses with burning intensity at two in the morning forever, that he’d stay elegant and sophisticated and whatever the fuck the girls at school said forever, but frozen and away, untouched by pain and also by happiness. But mostly he imagined him falling for a regular plain Jane – maybe that freckled girl whom Cam called Cookie, whose name Raleigh kept forgetting. That would be cool, he decided. Then maybe he’d understand – maybe he’d know what it felt like, when Melissa opened her eyes and looked straight at him, how it was when her gaze fell into him and sank like an anchor in calm waters and he knew that no matter how many times he had to wake her up just to make sure she’d attend school, he’d never leave her.

Like burning, when she slept. When he touched her and she shifted and murmured his name because he was close, he was closest – to her, and (when he dared to imagine it, at hushed o’clock in the morning) perhaps close, as well, to finally gathering enough courage to kiss her heated and quiet. Like falling asleep, or waking up drowning.

“You don’t get it,” said Raleigh. “You can talk to as many people as you want. As long as you find the right one, and keep her there.”

Like a bit of everything, going supernova.

 

Levi had a secret. A good one.

Well, to be honest, he had a lot of secrets: he liked sunshine and breakfast in bed and the kind of sex you could feel afterwards for days. His bones creaked, ghost-like, because he was old underneath – older than Raleigh could ever be, even when he dispersed strange bits of wisdom born out of infatuation and whatever made him look that serene, when gazing at his little Sleeping Beauty. Some secrets weren’t that nice: (his father).

Meryl was the best.

She was lying with her head on her arms, sitting behind the teacher’s desk – sometimes it still hit him how odd that was, if he remembered to look at the whole deal from outside. Meryl was young, anyway – Levi had slept with older people – and very beautiful in a ferocious kind of way. Her hair spilled over like ink – silky curls. The nape of her neck: vulnerable. He had imagined her face often, over summer vacation – the redness of her mouth, her bitten nails, her unfaltering balance on those heels she wore sometimes – the amusement in her face when he drawled out a comment that managed to scrape approval from her. Meryl was how he wanted to be, somehow – she’d got rid of all the things she didn’t need, stepped out of her skin and showed off her ribs and collarbone and ankles, unashamed… but why would someone be ashamed of her?

He stepped closer to her, mouse-quiet. His hand rose of its own volition – sometimes he thought life was a long summer dream, hot and heavy, where nothing seemed real – but Meryl was nothing if not stark reality. Like a car crash, where you couldn’t look away – less bloody. Not kinder. Just bare.

He touched her skin. His fingers slid, phantom-soft. He took a step back as Meryl raised her head, hiding the guilty hand behind his back. It tingled.

He met her eyes, unafraid. “Hello.” The infinite stickiness between two heartbeats. “Professor Boyan.”

She looked away. His bones sang with glory.

 

Like a flash:

They stumbled but didn’t quite touch. For a second Cam experienced a moment of disorientation – he didn’t quite recognise the boy, wondered if the loser with the puppy eyes was the only newcomer – and then it sank in. Conrad Payne had always done sports – which automatically placed him in the Don’t Talk To Me category, but he was the lean sort – nothing like some of the other idiots, pumped full of barely contained violence and muscles. Over the summer, Conrad had filled out completely – his shoulders had widened, Cam thought, and the line of his jaw had acquired a new dimension of definition.

He was… good-looking. If you liked the golden-haired, blue-eyed thing – the polite manners and the rumours that Conrad actually –

“Excuse me,” said Conrad, soft-spoken. He had the whole soulful thing going on – looked at him in the eye as he talked, despite the fact that some of his jock friends took a step back when Cam passed them in the corridors, as if homosexuality was contagious. As if Cam wanted to fuck anything that stayed still long enough. Cam burned for them, sure – with hate. Sometimes he had dreams where he decapitated them with the deadly cafeteria forks (last year that Cookie girl had actually cut her mouth with one of them) and used their heads as a soccer ball. He hated a lot of things – that was true – for them, though, he kept a special place in his heart: a disdain that never flickered or faltered, and Conrad was part of them.

When he managed to answer, his throat was dry. “Watch where you’re going.”

He added the faint heat of Conrad’s hand as it brushed his arm to the list of things he was ignoring: Amy, starry-eyed; the possibility of love at first sight (less than zero); the last bruising kiss of his whatever. They’d fucked as they broke up, the boy gasping in Cam’s ear as he explained that he was leaving to college and Cam was cute but not that cute. Cam bit his shoulder in answer and the boy’s blunt fingernails managed to scratch his back. Whenever he moved he thought about it – couldn’t help it – except when he almost crashed with Payne. The sudden shock of touch when he was unused to receiving it from anyone but his family and Amy…

It didn’t matter. Rule number one.


	2. Chapter 2

“Rule number one” he told her as a fraction of the football team made it down the hallway. “No dating football players.” Amy sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Come on, Cam, it’s not like this is freshmen year.” She lifted her timetable for him to see. “I’m a junior now. Plus, we’ve had this talk at least a thousand times and I still don’t know what is so terrible about football players. They have never picked on you, and they won’t bully you _now_.” He laughed ever so slightly. No matter how much time he spent with her, Amy never seemed any less than adorable to him.

“Oh, Amy, my dear, I appreciate your belief in the respect I should be paid for being a senior, but there’s a reason to why I have survived this long. Football players are dangerous creatures. They have the tiniest bit of intelligence, I shall give you that, since they’ve been smart enough to stay away from me. But that doesn’t make them friendly material.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Cam. And you shouldn’t be so prejudiced, you might regret it later. As my mum usually says: ‘never say never’.” Amy smiled.

“Keep on dreaming, String. None of them is interesting enough to be worth my attention. They wouldn’t understand our artistic ways. And I don’t want you near them because queen bee dating the quarterback is way too cliché for you. It would break my heart to see you like that.”

“It breaks my heart to see what you’ve become.” She joked. “You were such a sweet child when you first moved into my block, delivering cookies to the neighbours and keeping a constant eye on your little sister.”

“You are easily the same naive girl who used to think cotton candy was made of pink clouds.” He shot back.

“I have a wild imagination, which is not in the least a bad thing. Anyway, I have English class now and, after that, my Advanced Chemistry class. I’d hate to miss them.” She looked up, dreamily. “Remember Ezekiel from this morning? He’s a senior, and he got transferred, and I heard he’s going to be at my Chemistry class. I knew being smart and doing Chemistry classes with seniors would someday pay off. Today I’m totally getting his number.” Cam sighed, then glared.

“It’s sort of scary to think of you as a crazy scientist, but whatever. I just want you to keep your distance from Mr. Loser. From what I saw this morning he isn’t a big deal, and I don’t think a closer inspection would prove me wrong.” Amy smiled, walking away.

“There’s nothing to worry about. He’ll surprise you, you’ll see.”

 

Why did he always have to be so overprotective? She was perfectly able to take care of herself. _He should get a boyfriend_ , she decided. _But a proper one, one that he actually cares about_. Then the wannabe-heterosexual acts on the school’s front steps would end and he would be too busy to interfere with her love affairs.

“Now, you will hand in a written report on _Pride and Prejudice_. You shall work in couples.” _A book with an insight of Camden’s mind_ , she thought. She loved him, nevertheless. She didn’t know well _why_ , but she adored him, and she would never have him any other way. Everybody looked around, reaching out for friends or the best students, and before anyone could speak to her, someone sat on the desk in front of her, empty that morning thanks to some ill individual.

“Hi.” He had rather curly, golden hair. His eyes were blue, but seemed able to waver to grey. He looked like a model, a killing jaw, a graceful smile. All sharp edges smoothed with the gentleness of youth. He was bewilderingly beautiful. “I’m Conrad. I sit upfront, and I was wondering if you would care to be my partner.” Amy looked at him, both confused and suspicious. She had seen the back of his head, she reckoned, but as she remembered that, she also remembered Conrad was only in that class because he was like, super smart and was there to somehow pass his knowledge onto them. What would _he_ want with her? She had nothing to offer. And he certainly had better things to do than writing a report he most probably had already written before, alone and flawlessly. Amy was usually kind, but she wasn’t stupid, and wasn’t fond of being thought so, either.

“I’m sorry, I don’t see why you would bother to do this assignment with me.” He smiled, but after two seconds, his smile became sincere and he laughed, even.

“Okay, you got me.” He held his hands up, as if caught by the police. “I want something of yours.”

“And what would that be?” Amy asked, excited. She was a rather curious being. Whenever something intriguing came up, her eyes beamed with wonder.

“Some answers, and some help.” Amy arched up an eyebrow.

“You have to at least hint me what this is about. I will not sell myself without knowing the price.” He laughed again, and Amy thought he had an attractive laugh. Deep, intense, consistent. He, on the other hand, was starting to like her. She was way more interesting than her reputation made her out to be.

“It’s about your friend, Camden. He’s in my Math class. I kind of… have a crush on him.” He was deep serious while saying it, but that didn’t stop some colour to settle on his cheeks. He looked quite adorable, and Amy bit her bottom lip.

“Oh, Conrad. I have to say you’ve picked my interest. You got yourself a deal. I believe we can help each other out just fine.”

“I’m glad to hear so.” He said, and they began discussing their plan.

For the rest of the class, they whispered and plotted in silence. Amy knew she couldn’t give away too much information, for it would totally expose her in Camden’s eyes. She had to be subtle, and that’s why she was keeping track of everything in their plan. Nothing could go wrong, and Conrad seemed like a pretty good strategist himself, so she had some faith in their scheme.

“You’re absolutely sure about this.” Conrad said as he accompanied his new matchmaker on her way to Advanced Chemistry class. His opinion of her got higher and higher as the minutes passed. Who would have guessed she was so smart?

“Positive. You have to start eyeing him on the hallways. Make him notice you, start showing up on his radar. For Cam right now you barely even exist, you have to stand out. Now, he acts like he’s full of himself, but he is rather insecure about these things. Not that I know about that— I never told you that. God, he’s going to kill me… on the other hand, I _am_ doing this for his own good.” Conrad laughed.

“I don’t know if you are his fairy godmother or his archenemy.” His eyes looked down and he scratched his neck. “But it _is_ good to get to know him a little bit better.” Amy smiled.

“You are a nice guy, Conrad. And I want my best friend to hook up with a nice guy. Since you are also hot as hell, you kind of make a great prospect.”

“But… if you’re going for hot, you should be talking to the Waldorf guy, not me.”

“Not really. Levi is an arrogant little shit and we both know Cam sort of fits that description sometimes. Setting them up is like asking for Hiroshima to happen again. Plus, Levi’s icy heart is already taken.”

“You have to be shitting me. What, like, for real?” The surprise in his face was so evident, Amy wanted to giggle. He couldn’t fully close his mouth, leaving his jaw hanging a little. He had a heck of a jawline, she had to admit.

“You would be surprised of all the things I get to hear when Raleigh and Levi are having their supposedly-not-gay sleepovers.”

“So who’s the lucky person?” Amy shook her head.

“Not telling. Anyway, you should focus on Cam, remember? I’m risking a lifelong friendship for this, don’t screw it up. I know you’re totally Cam’s type.” _Although he doesn’t know it himself yet_ , she forgot to mention.

“That’s great news.” He patted her shoulder. “I’ll see you tonight?” She winked.

“You can count on it.”

 

“Miss Boyan, I’m having a _hard_ time with your subject. World History never seemed very important to me, excepting the transcendent untold stories about epic, and obviously tragic, lovers. Like Marc Antony and Cleopatra, or Inés de Castro and King Pedro.” Levi looked at the teacher with his most ‘innocent’ look, even though he knew she wouldn’t fall for it. Or, at least, the version of her he craved, wouldn’t. If she did, well, that would make things easier. She would become boring and he would be able to move on.

“You should know better than to insinuate anything, Waldorf. And you should know how to take care of your _hard problems_ yourself, shouldn’t you?” She smiled sideways, going through some papers, sitting by her desk. “You are not the first student in World History to have them.” He smirked.

“Ah, but who said anything about having the same problems as everyone, Miss Boyan?” He sat on her desk, defiant. “You are a teacher, and I want to learn. One would say it is your _duty_ to help me out.” She seemed unimpressed. That expression left Levi so anxious. Like he had to find a way to twist her to his will. To anticipate her and guide her wherever he wanted her to go.

“Let’s not fool ourselves, Waldorf, shall we? You have no use for World History extra lessons. You already have straight As. Something tells me you wouldn’t have it any other way, because your ego is bigger than your will. What do you want?” She lifted her curvy glasses, that would have been retro hadn’t Taylor Swift made them trendy again, and stared at him without them standing in between. He had the feeling the glasses were fake, yet he felt somewhat naked when he looked at him like she could see right through his act. Levi hesitated for a second, but he seemed to think better of it.

“I just told you. Some quality time with my favourite teacher to make sure I’m not falling behind in class.” Meryl rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, Waldorf, but I can’t meet you for private lessons. Please do ask all the questions you have, during classes or on your reports, though.” She read something on the paper in her hands. “Let me rephrase that. Ask whatever you want as long as it is strictly historical.”

“I see you are reading my report on Greek Democracy. How did I do?”

“You’ll know soon enough.” Levi raised an eyebrow. “In class.” She clarified. “I believe you can show yourself out of my classroom.” He jumped off the desk with a slight tint of disappointment in his gaze.

“I’ll see you later, Miss Boyan.” He said, winking.

“You mean tomorrow.” She corrected him.

“You may be able to deny me real time, but no one can stop me from dreaming you tonight.” Meryl sighed.

“Get out, Waldorf.”

 

 _If he could just look in my direction_ , Amy thought, while she extended the power of staring to its full limit. How could he not feel the dreading sensation of being _observed_? Amy reacted quite quickly to it. Specially because when in big crowds, it was the way Cam and her called out to each other. After two more agonising minutes, Ezekiel looked up in her direction. She smiled with beaming charm, and he seemed like struck by lightning.

They were supposed to write a hypothesis for the experiment they were to do in a few more minutes, in groups of three. Amy had already decided Ezekiel and she would be part of the same team. When the teacher made a gesture for them to choose partners, Amy walked right up to the lab desk where Ezekiel was sitting all on his own. She didn’t have much trouble since she was the only junior in the class, and most seniors wanted to make memories with their peers. Yet she still proved to be popular, as usual.

“Hey, Amy, good to see you!” Said Jessica, and Amy smiled in return.

“How was summer?”

“Great! You’ve got a group?” Amy politely declined.

“I’ve got it covered, but thanks”. Ezekiel resulted not to be very popular, as it happens to most transferred seniors.

“Hi.” Amy said, sitting by his side without even asking, which she realised a bit too late. “I’m sorry, I should have asked. Can I sit here?” Ezekiel looked like he was at a loss for words. She couldn’t help to think of it as awfully cute.

“Uh… no, don’t worry. It’s totally okay, uhm, fine by me.” She smiled again.

“Ezekiel, right? Can I call you Ez?” Her eyes were pure, liquid gold to him. He wondered how such an awful world was capable of guarding such beauty in it.

“Yes.” He said, scratching his hair a bit. “I’m sorry, you were so nice this morning, and yet…” Amy’s soft laugh caught him off.

“It’s alright, I’m Amy. Doesn’t make up for great nicknames, though. Or any nicknames at all, for that matter.” She winced, without dropping her smile.

“That’s okay, I’m not that creative anyway. So tell me, Amy, what brings you to my desk?”

“I just wanted for us to be lab partners.” She announced, enthusiastically.

“Really?” He couldn’t possibly believe a girl like Amy would ever give him the time of the day. She looked as if she’d been busted, though.

“Okay, well, maybe I’m here with an agenda.” _I knew it_ , he told himself. Life was never _that_ good. And if it was, it certainly didn’t show its kindness to him. “You’ll see, I was sort of hoping we would chat a lot during class and I’d leave with your phone number on my contact list.” Or maybe life was good? It was so difficult to tell, but right then it seemed so true. “Am I totally hopeless?” Her cheeks were pink and her eyes told on her, she was totally scared inside and was not as confident as she let on. He could barely think of a single word, but he had to try his hardest in order not to screw that up.

“I suppose it won’t hurt… as long as I get to take you somewhere this weekend.” Amy laughed again, and he felt like that was a great sound to hear constantly.

“We’ll have to do all the chatting until the class finishes, though.”

“Oh, I would have never dared to leave that out of the deal.” His eyes were dark and kind. It looked like they were an even number that day and it was going to be just her and Ez.

“No intruders to make this easier for you, it seems.” His heart was racing like crazy, but he prayed he could stay alive to see the end of that class. Were God kind, maybe he could stay alive to see that weekend.

“Good.” He spoke after a while of silent staring. “Just the two of us, then.”

 

“I’m telling you, Cam, we spoke the entire class and he is _perfect_.” Amy said, her hands together, fingers intertwined over her chest.

“And you say this because…?” Cam had a long run identifying total losers and rescuing Amy from them.

“He is Jewish, and helps at the synagogue every weekend. He has two older brothers, and likes éclairs. He is in the swimming team, he likes puppies… adorable, isn’t it? He wants to study something that allows him to do some good in people’s lives. He is so into justice and fairness, he—”

“Is desperately trying to get laid.” Cam interrupted. “Come on, Amy, get real. Puppies? Playing the puppy card is a low move, specially when talking to naive pretty girls like you. I suggest you give him the kick.”

“No way! He was attempting nothing; we were just talking. Plus, I already invited him for the concert this weekend.” Cam’s mouth fell open.

 “Oh my _God_ , Amy, he is a total loser. He wouldn’t be able to notice the difference between Mozart and Chopin even if you trained him for a year!” Amy frowned.

“Don’t be so mean, Cam. He told me he knows nothing about classical music and I told him I wouldn’t mind introducing it to him.”

“And you said he is in the swimming team? Gross. The pool’s locker room always smells.” He wrinkled his nose, as if he smelt rotten eggs.

“I don’t care. You’re jealous because in no time I’ll be dating the next Michael Phelps. And, just so you know, he is the first person I’ve met in this school who actually cares about the things I like doing or the things I plan for my future. Not about what party I’m attending this weekend, or what sort of conditioner I use. So I’m telling you Cam, I’m not cancelling on him, and you better not screw this up.” Camden looked as if he was going to say something, but in that very minute something unprecedented happened. As part of the football team made it down the hall, one golden head turned around and smiled in their direction. Cam turned and stared at Amy.

“He _is_ light years better than the Goldscheier boy, yes, but he is a _football player_. Even more, he is co-captain of the team. Have I not given you enough warnings?” He told her. _Shoot, Payne, you didn’t tell me you were in the football team_ ; was all Amy could think.

“I’m sorry to pop your bubble, Cam, but I think he was smiling at you, not me.” She clarified.

“Conrad Payne, smiling at me? What a joke! As if I care if he does. Also, if he really _is_ gay, he wouldn’t come out of the closet not even if his life depended on it.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that… people change, you know?” She hadn’t planned for Conrad to be a football player, and now things weren’t going to be easy.

“Not _football players_. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you all these years. We are capable of change, of real feelings, of trust. People like Conrad? They’re just a pretty face in your yearbook you forget soon enough.”

 

“Houston, I think we’ve got a problem.” Conrad was sitting on one of Amy’s white ‘n’ yellow puffs. He had a glass of milk in one hand and an Oreo on the other, and was deciding how to eat it. Amy was looking at her nail polishes, debating herself between electric blue or classic French manicure.

“Does it have to do with which colour you should try on? Because I suck at colour choosing. On the other hand, I’m not half bad at doing other people’s manicure. It turns out some of my girlfriends use me as their stylist. I hate it that they think that just because I’m gay I have to be their stylist.” Amy laughed. “Just kidding, I never do anything I’m not comfortable doing. Plus, my best friend doesn’t trust my taste at all. She says I dress nicely but I have no taste in women’s stuff, so I get a break with her.” Amy sighed.

“Gentlemen are such endangered species; I can’t believe I found you.” Her smile wavered, making her look more professional. “Sadly, this is not a problem as easy as picking nail lacquer colours. You forgot to mention you are in the football team.”

“Co-captain, actually.” He said, automatically. Amy nodded, Camden had already told her so. It surprised her that he knew at all, now that she thought about it. Conrad knew what the problem was, but played dumb. He’d known all the time he’d never get to Cam without any help from the inside. So he frowned and looked at Amy. “How is that a problem?”

“Cam kind of hates football players. ‘Never date football players’ is his mantra. ‘Popular people besides Amy are trash’ is his motto. It’s gonna take him way longer to digest the idea of you now. This morning, when you smiled at him? He thought you were smiling at me. Pretty good job that one you did, by the way. Very dashing. But my point is Cam has sworn to be the enemy of everything you represent. This is gonna be a long way.”

“So what do you suggest?” Conrad seemed to take it in very easily, which made Amy suspicious.

“You already knew this, didn’t you?” Conrad sighed and nodded, owning to it. Amy rolled her eyes.

“I knew it was impossible for me to get to him without you.” Amy smirked, sensing the compliment.

“Fine, but you gotta stop keeping secrets from me.” He seemed genuinely worried and Amy couldn’t help but think she’d won the lottery for Cam. If this plan worked out she wouldn’t have to worry about Cam’s love life ever again.

“Have you ever been to a piano concert?” She asked, a mischievous smile in her face.

“No. Is there anything special I should wear?” He picked up things very quickly, and Amy liked that. It made plotting way easier.

“Nice shoes and a classy sweater should be fine. And pants, no jeans. It looks like we’ll have a somewhat blind double date.”

“Won’t he hate me?” She smiled, but didn’t seem very happy deep down.

“Oh, believe me. He’ll be busy hating my date instead.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Wake up.” He whispered, trying to be gentle. Math had been never-ending, and it made sense that someone had fallen asleep. The problem was Melissa fell asleep during every single class. “Wake up” he repeated, louder, as she didn’t move at all. He shook her, and only then she made any sign of being alive.

“What…?” She looked up. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Come on, Math’s over. We can go home now.” She smiled.

“Are you asking me to hang out at your place?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I’m not inviting you any—” She smiled.

“Thank you so much, I suppose I cannot make you wait now, can I?” He sighed. It _was_ hard trying to say no to those chocolate eyes. It had been hard for four years then. Melissa wasn’t fair to him. She wasn’t fair to anyone, to be honest.

Melissa slept most of the day, and the rest of the time she just wanted to lay down, watch movies, read, listen to jazz or do whatever demanded the least energy from her. Strangely, the only thing you could drive her to do that demanded some actual physical effort was _to dance tango_. She was a great dancer, but Raleigh had barely made it alive the few times she had talked him into teaching him a few steps. It was better to chill out with her than to dance tango.

Yet, then again, her short onyx-coloured wavy hair fell upon her immaculate skin in a very sinful way. And her chocolate eyes melted into his when they stared while she listened to jazz… ‘It does you no good to think of her like that if you aren’t willing to do something about it.’ Levi had said. Raleigh just wasn’t sure, they had been friends since kindergarten, and he had only felt slightly different since they’d begun high school. It wasn’t enough to put their friendship at risk. But she kept acting so relaxed, so languid and exquisite and ridiculous, wearing those silly hats. He wanted her to vanish sometimes so the strange, sickly feeling she gave him could go away.

“What’s up?” She was staring at him. Her face so close to his, looking for something in his expression. “Is everything okay?” She was retreating now, like a wave, like the ocean. Further and further.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He changed the backpack’s strap from his left shoulder to his right shoulder and started walking to exit the classroom. “It’s just… Levi.” A truth to cover a lie. Melissa rolled her eyes.

“That Waldorf kid _is_ , indeed, very annoying. But I don’t think that’s your problem.” Her hat fell sideways, and he pulled it to stand even on her head. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled. Melissa was so easy going it was ridiculous. Levi _could_ learn a thing or two from her, but without the aura of mysteriousness and his undying arrogance, he wouldn’t be quite the same guy. And he liked the Levi he called his friend. Annoying, sarcastic, prejudiced... needy at the core. “No, it isn’t. He has been strange lately. He reads books that have nothing to do with school, about underground cinema. Has been making some nonsensical research and has asked me to download like twenty movies already that I have never heard of.”

“Why are _you_ downloading his movies?” Melissa enquired.

“He would rather not bother with it if he can help it.”

“This is getting ridiculous. If you’re worried, get someone to help you. Obviously I have no experience on the Levi Waldorf topic whatsoever but I bet you know a person or two who do.”

“If you say so... anyway, are you doing anything this weekend? Amy has one of these concerts of hers and I know by first-hand that you love sleeping to classical music. Does it tempt you at all? You would have to attend rather formal, though.” Melissa smiled.

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

“Uhm, I’m sorry to bother you, I’m not sure if I’m at the right place. You see, I’m here for the piano concert?” Ezekiel had been debating himself whether to ask the guy coming the way of the theatre, but his time had run up when he was about to enter. He stopped him just in time.

“Well, you’re just...” Cam turned around to meet face to face with Ezekiel Goldscheier and as his mind made up the perfect plan, he smiled. “In the right place. I assume you brought your ticket? These people are so annoying about them, like, I’m best friends with the pianist herself and I still have to go through all that bureaucracy, can you believe it?” Ezekiel’s face went from confusion to alarm.

“Ticket? I don’t, I’m not... you see, the girl who invited me here said nothing about a ticket.” Cam acted like he totally understood.

“Well, I’m sure she’s got both your tickets. I must get in now, but she’ll probably show up soon enough.” Ezekiel simply nodded and watched Cam enter the theatre. Cam smiled and if he could, he would’ve high-fived himself for being so brilliant. He made his way to the backstage, where he found Amy freaking out in her dressing room.

“Oh my God, Cam, thank God you’re here!” She hugged him, and he admired her. She smelled of strawberries. Her dress was blue and long and flawless. Amy was the perfect girl and Ezekiel was definitely not the perfect boy. He had done well, everything was okay.

Raleigh was putting make up on Melissa, who was sleeping on a chair. Cam couldn’t believe how on Earth he and Amy were related.

“I’ll always be here for you, silly. Now, go out there and leave them speechless. I’ll be sitting up front, for support.” Amy smiled.

“You’re the nicest, you’re always watching out for me, Cam. Thank you so much.” Cam smiled, then Amy turned to Raleigh. “Make sure you take it off her face before she wakes up or she’ll kill you. There’re some make up remover wipes in the drawer.

“Calm down, sis. I’ve done this hundreds of times. Melissa doesn’t care. As long as I don’t mess up her hats, she never complains.” Cam rolled his eyes.

“What a saint.” Amy said.

“How disgusting, young people in love.” Camden stated. “How about you start dating already? Your behaviour would be slightly more comprehensible if you did.”

“You don’t understand shit about us, Fairchild.” Raleigh showed Camden his tongue.

“Okay, I gotta go, just quit fighting already. I can’t play and keep you from each other’s throats at the same time, so you’ll have to continue later.”

“I’ll catch you after the show, sis?” Raleigh asked.

“Actually, I’m going somewhere to grab dinner, so I’ll see you home.” Amy replied.

“Whatever, we’ll keep chatting later, now go.” Cam urged her. Amy took off and he retreated back to his seat, followed by Raleigh, carrying Melissa as if she were drunk. They were way out of place at a piano concert like that one. Why did they even bother? He knew the answer, though: Amy wanted them to be there. _I need all the support I can get_ , she’d said once.

The concert was magnificent, as always. Raleigh left early, probably because it wouldn’t be wise trying to take Melissa out of the theatre when the crowd was leaving as well. He met Amy at backstage once again when it was over. Amy was putting a bouquet in a jar, with some water.

“How do you think it went?” Amy asked.

“You were absolutely majestic.” She smiled, but she seemed a tiny bit sad. Could it be because of that Goldscheier guy he’d made sure to leave out? _No way_ , he thought. _No such loser could sadden her up like that_.

“Thank you. Is Raleigh still here?”

“No, he left like ten minutes before it was over. Probably because Melissa had passed out. Seriously, you shouldn’t let her assist.” Amy gave Camden a disapproving look.

“You know they’re very tight. And, even though our dad was a total douche, Raleigh is my brother, and I love him.” Camden sighed.

“Whatever, shall we leave now?” They walked out together. Sadly for him, Goldscheier hadn’t left. He was waiting still; his back leaned over one of the theatre’s walls. When Amy caught his glance, she ran off to him.

“Oh my God, Ez, what are you doing here?” She asked, before he could say anything. He looked hurt, and somewhat offended. “I looked for you everywhere! I didn’t see you and I thought you had stood me up... what happened?” Ezekiel’s face was of pure disbelief.

“ _I_ stood _you_ up? You told me to come here and then you didn’t show up! How could I possibly get in when you left out the _tiny_ detail of the ticket?” Amy was confused, but being Ez angry and dressing rather formal, she couldn’t help but think he looked very handsome.

“What are you talking about? What ticket? It was an open function, no tickets needed. Who gave you such an idea?” Camden was about to flee the scene, but it was too late. Ezekiel had already noticed him.

“It was him! That guy you walked out with. Is he your boyfriend? Is this your way to prove you’re queen and you’re better than me?” Amy didn’t pay much attention to his words, but to Cam, who wore his best face of ‘I did nothing, leave me out of this’. She was furious.

“Cam! Was it you?” Amy exclaimed.

“Me what?” He said, looking elsewhere but her eyes. He hated the feeling of getting busted. “I do many things a day, String, you can’t expect me to keep track of _every_ little thing.”

“Don’t play me around, Cam. I know you. Did you tell Ezekiel he needed tickets to my concert?”

“Wait, _your_ concert?” Ezekiel was completely lost.

“I may have done such a thing, but it was all for you. You can’t date this loser, he’s not the right fit for you!” Cam explained.

“What do you mean by _this loser_?” Ezekiel asked, deeply offended.

“That’s up for me to decide, Camden! I can’t believe this, I thought you had my back, I told you not to screw this up!” Camden looked away, he didn’t like to see Amy so upset. “Whatever. Go have that dinner by yourself, I’ll go somewhere with ‘this loser’ here.” She turned to Ez. “That is, of course, if you can forgive me, and you would have me.” Ez sighed.

“There’s nothing to forgive, come on.” Amy shot Cam a murderous look, took Ezekiel’s arm and got out of there. She sent a quick text before disappearing completely, some apologies she had to make.

I’m sorry, I’m done with Cam, can’t go on with the plan. Good luck anyway.

Cam was thinking what to do next, what would hurt less his integrity and his ego, and decided he should hurry to his place, before anyone else could see him without Amy and be left to wonder about him and his personal life.

“Excuse me,” a voice said behind him. It was the second time that day someone bothered him in that manner, so he turned around, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck off, but what he saw left him surprised, suppressing any reaction. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t help to notice what just happened. And, well, the person who was to join me to eat just cancelled on me... I wanted to know if you would like to make common cause and go out with me.” It was Conrad Payne, _again_. It was _Conrad Payne_ and he was asking him out and he didn’t know whether to laugh or to be upset about it. But he was already upset about things with Amy, and Conrad did look like Michelangelo’s angels, so he decided to amuse himself for a while.

“Alright, if you want to take me to grab something to eat, what the hell. I’m already upset; nothing could spoil the night anymore.” Conrad smiled.

“Those are wonderful news. I had planned to eat at the coffee shop nearby... they have excellent muffins there.” That caught Camden’s attention.

“Muffins? Okay, I love muffins, let’s go.”

 

“So, what’s that thing about it being your concert?” Ezekiel asked, and Amy looked down.

“I am a pianist, sort of a prodigy, actually. I just wanted to brag, show you my best self, I guess. You know, the kind of silly thing you try to do on your first date.” Ezekiel laughed.

“Are you really going to tell me you’re a junior who attends Chemistry classes with seniors and is a piano prodigy and somehow still felt like she needed to make some kind of impression?” Amy’s expression went to complete alarm.

“Why? Is it _that_ difficult to believe?” He smirked.

“No, but it is quite surprising. One would say it’s me who should be nervous and insecure but, hey, it’s fine if you like to make sure you’ll be unforgettable.”

“Did I at least succeed?” Her tone was hopeful, and the streetlights made her golden eyes shine a shade darker than usual. He liked her, he decided. Or at least he hoped the decision came from within him, because when it came to girls like Amy, you either decided to like them or _they_ would decide for you to like them.

“You can be sure I will never forget I was outside a theatre waiting for my date to show up, and two hours and a half later she’s walking out with the same guy who made sure I felt stood up.” He noted.

“I’m so sorry about that. Cam’s my best friend; he just... has a twisted way of judging my dates. He thinks you aren’t worthy of me, but he thinks so of every single person. The Prince of Monaco could show up willing to make me the next Grace Kelly and I think even then Camden would have some trouble giving me his blessing.” Ezekiel sighed.

“Are you sure it isn’t because he would like to fill in that space himself?” Amy widened her eyes, then laughed.

“I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s only that... maybe when we were five, but the moment Cam turned six, he—”

“He what? Come on, Amy, it’s not like turning six made him incapable of noticing how spectacular you are.” Amy smiled.

“That’s not it. Camden is _gay_ , Ezekiel. He’s into boys, and before you ask, yes, I am pretty sure. You weren’t there when I had to watch _Beastly_ for the fourth time because he kept saying he was noting the differences between the book and the movie but he was actually admiring Alex Pettyfer’s jawline. Don’t get me started on the Glee chapter in which Matt Bomer showed up. I’m quite the fan of handsome men, but even _I_ got tired after the seventh time.” Ezekiel laughed. “Okay, so, where do you want to go?” Amy asked, arching up an eyebrow.

“I thought we were wandering aimlessly on purpose.” Ezekiel winced as he admitted so.

“It’s okay, I like it. But, to be honest, it _is_ a bit late to be out, and even though my mum is doing a night shift tonight, I would rather not arrive home too late.” Ez fidgeted, and Amy caught his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, I suppose I didn’t make that big an impression, if you’re cutting the date short.” He sighed. “I thought we were going to eat somewhere.” Amy smiled.

“I don’t want to arrive home late, that’s true, but that’s what takeout was made for, silly. You can walk me home and we can watch a movie.” Ezekiel shook his head, relieved.

“I suppose you torture all your dates like this?” Amy laughed.

“Only those whom I like.”

 

“Okay, spill it. Who tipped you off on the muffins?” Conrad shook his head.

“Can’t you just take my word when I say it was a lucky guess?” Cam looked at him, suspiciously.

“It’s very difficult to think of any of this as such a big coincidence. You obviously knew I was going to be at that concert, and you somehow figured out Amy was going to ditch me and I would be angry and willing to do stupid things like drinking coffee with you. So, what is it? Some kind of weekend diversion? The ultimate senior prank? A way to get back at me for all the tranquil years of high school I had until today?” Conrad sighed.

“I have to say I’m quite surprised of how low you think of me. I truly had no idea you were going to be dumped by that girl at the last minute. I went to the concert because I actually enjoy classical music. My grandma made me listen to Tchaikovsky when I was little, said it would make me smarter.”

“Your grandma?” It was strange for Camden to hear someone like Conrad to talk about something as human as a grandmother.

“Yeah. You see, my mother left my dad after I was born because she said she had no time to be a mother, and left me to my dad.” He looked at Cam, worried he might bore him, but Camden could not possibly stop him because he did not know how to react. It was the first time someone he barely even knew started talking about his past out of the blue and as openly as Conrad was. “She made one wrong assumption, though: my father didn’t have much time for me, either. He was always busy with work. He keeps working in his lab entire days, as a matter of fact. My grandmother took care of me all that time my dad was busy with work. She... she did everything in her power for me to never feel lonely.” Cam wanted to say something comforting, oddly enough, and found himself feeling strangely… _guilty_? For having thought for a moment that Conrad wasn’t even human.

“Explain something to me, please. Which one of your parents was a knockout? Because there’s no way you turned out so devastatingly handsome, if none of them is an international modelling star.” Conrad laughed, and Camden felt some of his organs exchange places. His laughter was so pleasant... deep, thick, melodious even. But he didn’t know to attribute it either to agreeableness or disgust.

“You think I’m devastatingly handsome?” He looked as if he couldn’t stop smiling.

“That wasn’t my question.” Was all Cam could answer.

“My father was fairly handsome.” He took out his wallet and rummaged through it. Did people still carry their loved ones’ pictures in their wallets? That was _so_ last century, for Cam’s taste. But he had to admit it made Conrad look rather cute. “See?” He handed him the picture of a man who looked a lot like Conrad, except his eyes were dark and his bone structure was sharper and rougher than Conrad’s. “But I dare say my mother was the knockout.” He took his mobile this time, and chose a picture that was obviously taken from a scrapbook or a photo album.

The woman in it shared a similarity even more striking to her son. Her glasses may have driven some people away, and she definitely dressed as if she didn’t care for clothes. But her eyes were Conrad’s, and she had certain softness to her factions that had probably made for Conrad’s angles to become smoother.

“She _is_ very beautiful indeed.” Was all Camden could come up with.

“They are both plenty smart, also.” He made a pause, in case Camden decided he didn’t want to hear any more of it. “That’s why I like to think outside the high school norm. Beauty and intelligence are not mutually exclusive; you can have both.” He looked at Cam. “But what about _your_ family? Who do you live with?” Conrad took a sip of his espresso, his muffin still untouched.

“My family?” He asked, incredulous. “What do you care?” Conrad’s jaw fell slightly open. Camden knew he was being totally rude, but he didn’t want to be seen as the weakling. If he gave into everything Conrad came up with, he was lost.

“Come on, Camden, I’m trying to show you I’m a nice guy! Could you stop yourself from rushing into an early, non-fair judgement of my person and let me help you to get to know me? You might even like the person you don’t know I am.”

“As if.” Camden replied. “We both know there is no way there can be anything between us, Conrad. We can’t be friends, nor friendly. Whether it is your senior guilt of not having shared any time at all with some of your classmates, or the best way you have to laugh at me, I do _not_ want to have anything to do with you.” He looked ready to leave, and that made Conrad feel a bit cornered.

“Would you… would you at least stay to finish your coffee? You can have my muffin, if you want.” Camden was impressed. He didn’t know Conrad could react so quickly, much less that he would make such an offer as that one. He then _had_ to stay, if not for Conrad, at least for the muffin. All the tests he had made Conrad go through that far, he’d aced. Camden eyed the muffin for a while, then he accommodated himself in his seat and took the muffin as if it had always been intended for him.

“Why do you want me so desperately to stay?” He said after he had swallowed a bite. “It isn’t like you don’t have any friends.” Truth was, Camden had a hard time believing Conrad could ever have any serious and honest interest in him. He wasn’t the hottest, or the nicest, or the smartest. What could he possibly have to offer that could interest someone like Conrad Payne? It was ridiculous that he was even wondering what it could be.

“I just… you pick my interest, and I’m a bad loser. Also, I thought you would be able to like me, for the person I really am. The kind of person people make of me... it barely ever feels real.” Camden was entertained with his muffin, but seemed to have decided to stay. He was looking at him, as if he had x-ray vision. His stare was so intense, Conrad felt his face turn red, and looked away, flustered. He had always eyed Camden in the hallways with deep interest, but having him in front of him like that was a bit too much. The more he knew him, the more he liked him; and he felt a bit helpless, because Camden seemed very determined not to open himself to him.

“My dad is a photographer. Or more like a multitasked artist. He’s a painter some days, others he is a potter. Very bohemian.” Conrad was incredibly happy Camden had decided to talk about himself, and was determined to keep silent in order not to screw that up. “He met my mum at an art gallery, which is odd because my mum was some sort of Yoko Ono. She preferred open spaces, fresh air, you know. She was very hippie and had this dream about a healthy store line that sold inedible stuff... anyway, she was ten thousand times prettier than Yoko. She and my dad were happy for a while, everything cool for a couple months. One day, my dad woke up and she was gone, nothing of hers was left behind. Of course, he was heartbroken, but he moved on, or so he tells.

“Nine months later I show up in a basket on his couch, with a bag of gluten, sugar, salt, and everything-free rice cookies.” He smiled, even though it didn’t sound like a nice story. But Camden always smiled when he told that story, because the look on his dad’s face when he first told him was priceless. “He knew where I’d come from so he took me in and raised me the best he could. Some years after that he married, with uh...” Camden was never sure how to tell that part of the story, because he hated it when people assumed he was gay only because his father was. “With my step father, Tatum. My dad was certain he could never fall for another woman after my mother, because none of them would be anything like her. And no one really likes to be lonely.” Conrad was smiling, and Camden frowned.

“What are you smiling so much about?”

“Nothing, it’s just...” he couldn’t say something like ‘I like you’ that early, it would totally drive Camden away from him. “Don’t you think it’s an interesting coincidence?” Camden rolled his eyes.

“What? That my father’s married to a guy and I turned out to be gay? Because I hate it to break it down to you, but my little sister Briony, Tatum’s girl, she is straight.” Conrad laughed again, and Camden wanted to punch someone, that laugh wasn’t fair at all.

“No, no. I know it doesn’t have anything to do at all. I’m a smart guy, _please_ , I know me being in the football team _is_ a distracting fact, but I am gifted with unprecedented intelligence.” Camden raised an eyebrow. “I meant us both having runaway mothers was an interesting coincidence.” He clarified, and Camden’s mouth made a perfect ‘o’. “Yeah.”

“Well, I think it is the only coincidence you’ll find between us, anyway.”      

“I dare to say you’re wrong, Mr. Fairchild.” Camden glared at him. “You are gay, and I am gay. You are single, and I am single. Those are, and correct me if I’m wrong, two other coincidences.” Camden rolled his eyes.

“To me, it doesn’t really count if you hide in the closet.” Conrad took a sip of his coffee and studied him for a while. Finally, he sighed.

“Camden Fairchild, I _am_ openly gay. The problem is no one believes me when I tell them. The guys in the football team? They say I just say so because I don’t want to admit I’m too picky. In some parties, even, I’ve had a fling with one or two, but the next day they come to me and threaten to out me if I out them.” He scratched his nape. “I tell them I don’t care if they tell people I’m gay, but if they want me to keep it a secret, I won’t say a thing.”

“That is quite a solid story, only I’m not sure I buy it.” Conrad held his hands up, as if surrendering.

“You choose to believe me or not, I don’t care. But I decided tonight that if anyone should know my real self, and stop seeing me through the idea people has made of me, it should be you.” Cam squinted trying to see through him, and Conrad stood his gaze that time.

“Okay, but even if I agree to anything tonight, I’ll deny everything in the morning.”

“That is why, Camden Fairchild, I love the developments of technology. I invite you to hang out with me on Monday, and when I pick you up and you try to deny any connection to me, I hit play to my recording.”

“Except I won’t let you record anything.”

“Just tell me you’ll let me pick you up after school on Monday.” His pleading eyes were difficult to resist. Saying no at that time, would have been the equivalent to kicking a sick puppy. Even Camden wasn’t that cruel.

“Whatever.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Melissa, your keys?” Raleigh asked, after knocking on her door, four times.

“Just tell my mum I’m, you know,” she was hanging from his neck, mostly; barely on her feet. Anyone would have believed her drunk, but she only was very, very sleepy. “Here.” Raleigh sighed.

“No one’s home, Lisa. Just tell me where your keys are and I’ll do the rest.” She pointed somewhere around the flower pots under the window, by the main entrance. Twenty minutes later, Raleigh opened the door and lifted her from the floor. “Seriously, sleeping on your porch? You need to put yourself some limits, Lisa.”

She obviously wasn’t listening. Raleigh decided it would be faster and safer to lift her and carry her upstairs, rather than drag her along, so he lifted her, princess style. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her face against his chest, eyes closed and lips parted. He reminded himself they were only in that situation because she trusted him with her life.

“Hey, Lisa, wake up. You gotta change before you go to sleep.” He whispered as he left her on her bed. Her room was tidy, as always. She barely ever moved anything, so it was difficult for her to make a mess. That was also why you were able to see a thin layer of dust resting over most things.

“Uh, okay.” She said, sitting up. She blinked; sleep flowing slowly out of her system for a while. “I’m sorry I put you through this again.” Raleigh smiled.

“We both knew this was going to happen, and I invited you, anyway. I knew what the consequences were, no need to apologise.” He sat down beside her. “Just tell your mum to hand me an extra set of keys. It would be useful, next time.” She laughed. Her laugh was so calm, so soft... he could almost feel his bones melting, urging him to lie beside her and never leave. “You know, Lisa, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” he began, but wasn’t sure how to go on.

“Mhm?” She said, making the smallest effort possible. It was almost all monosyllables with her, that late. He swallowed. He hated words, he was awful with them. Words were all Levi’s business. His deal was music, was darts. She was wearing a dress, which was tortuously close to a second skin, the way it followed her lines so faithfully. She was staring at him, into his eyes, and the dark in hers only drowned him, like a bottomless pit.

“I...” he tried, but it was hopeless. There were no words. Melissa wasn’t fair, at all, and he wasn’t going to be allowed such thing as words. He leaned, closer, and was surprised to notice she didn’t retreat. She wasn’t going to stop him, so he went for it. He kissed her, and Melissa went along with it, didn’t complain, didn’t back down. “I...” he tried again, but it seemed he wasn’t going to succeed.

“I know.” She said. “I’ve known for a while now.” And just like that, she kissed him, and his bones finally melted and he stayed there, lied beside her and hoped he would never have to leave.

 

“I still don’t get what is so great about _The Breakfast Club_.” Ezekiel said. Amy shook her head, smiling.

“You see, _this_ is why Camden hates your guts.” Ezekiel frowned.

“And is it too big of a deal if he doesn’t approve?”

“I don’t know. But I have to admit _that_ is also the reason I think I liked you for.” Ezekiel blushed, and looked away. His mouth opened, as if he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure what. Plus, he was alone with Amy, at her flat. They had eaten almost an entire pizza, and Amy’s mother wasn’t coming back until dawn. He couldn’t help but to feel nervous.

“I think you should be going.” Amy said after a pause. “It’s awfully late, your parents will worry.” His parents _had_ put a curfew before midnight, and it _was_ 1 a.m., but he still felt as if Amy were kicking him out. He took his coat, nevertheless, and walked towards the door. _It’s only the first date_ , he told himself. _There’ll be plenty of other, better occasions_.

“So I’ll see you at school?” He asked, Amy nodded.

“Thank you; it was a really nice first date.” He smiled, and Amy lingered in the doorway, reluctant to close the door. “Maybe you could… say your goodbyes properly?” She suggested, not even knowing what she meant by it. Ezekiel scratched his nape, doubtful. Was she hinting him to kiss her? He hesitated for a second, and the doubt took his chance. As he leaned slightly forward, a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“I believe you’ll have to wait a bit longer, tiger.” The voice came from Raleigh, Amy’s big brother. His hair was messy, and he looked tired. Besides that, he seemed as if it were the greatest day of his life.

“Raleigh?” Amy asked, a bit surprised.

“Hello there, little girl.” Raleigh looked at Ezekiel and evaluated him. He decided he was far better than his previous contestants. He seemed decent and interested enough, so Raleigh decided to give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being. But something totally unexpected happened then.

“Where have you been?” Edgar, Raleigh and Amy’s stepfather-wannabe, was standing behind Amy. He looked as if he’d just woken up, which was probably what had happened.

“I was at the concert. And I’ve been here since, with Ezekiel.” Amy pointed at him and glared at Edgar. “I was just showing him out.”

“And I guess it was your doing, ordering pizza, I mean?” Amy could barely stand Edgar, her mother’s boyfriend. But Raleigh stepped in, after doing a sign to Ezekiel. It was better for him to leave before things turned ugly. Ezekiel took the hint and disappeared in no time.

“What’s the matter with pizza?” He asked Edgar, who lifted his eyes towards the ceiling.

“We don’t have money to throw away in such trivial things.” He explained, as if it were obvious.

“I’m sorry about it, Edgar, but _you_ don’t have enough money to spend on takeout. My sister, my mother and I _do_ , and would have even more spare money if you weren’t just using my mother to pay your debts.”

“You insolent brat!” He looked very offended, but Amy stepped in.

“Don’t you dare talk to my brother in that manner! _You_ shouldn’t even be here in the first place. Mum said you were going to stay at your sister’s. I wonder what she would think if we told her you were here tonight.” Raleigh nodded.

“Truth is our mother cares more about us than she cares about you, and you know it. That’s why you should leave now. She _has_ become your only income, and I won’t stay silent watching how she wastes her time with yet another loser.” Edgar glared at them as he took his jacket off the couch and walked out.

“You kids are really not worth dating your mother.” Amy rolled her eyes.

“As if you could afford dumping her.” She said before Edgar slammed the door. Amy turned to face his brother, who would usually be smoking in anger, but instead seemed at ease. “What’s gotten into you?” Raleigh smiled.

“Oh, little sis, I have a story I suspect you’ll be interested in hearing.”

 

“Mr. Waldorf.” He turned around, he knew that voice. It was rather unexpected, though. Miss Boyan looking for him out of class hours? Only his dreams went like that. He eyed Raleigh, who simply shrugged. He didn’t know what Miss Boyan could want either.

“Miss Boyan, what an unexpected and, dare I say, pleasant surprise. May I know what has you looking for me in the school’s hallways? I thought you’d said no to private lessons. And, even so, those would be _in private_. I believe you know what that means.” Meryl rolled her eyes. Levi was such a pain in the ass, she’d be happy to elude him, if she could; but he had skipped her class that morning, and she wasn’t going to accept it.

“I’m not sure if this is the way you have of throwing a tantrum, but truth is that’s of no interest to me. I came here because I can’t have you skipping class like this. Next time, I’ll inform the principal. You have always been a remarkable student, in spite of everything you... well, what you _are_.” Levi arched up an eyebrow.

“Are you concerned for my future, Miss Boyan?” He smiled. “I would do anything you asked, if you asked nicely enough. If you know what I mean.”

“Forget it, Waldorf. Just consider yourself warned.” She turned to Raleigh. “And Mr. Buchanans, I trust you’ll restrain your dear friend from self-destruction. Am I wrong?” Raleigh fidgeted. Meryl’s gaze was too intense and he felt somewhat cornered.

“Yeah, whatever, ma’am.” Meryl smiled.

“I’m glad to hear so. And it is _Miss Boyan_. I am your teacher, after all.” She studied them both for a second that to Raleigh lasted forever, and to Levi could have never been enough. She smiled. “I’ll see you in class, gentlemen. I would advise you, Mr. Waldorf, to arrive with your fly zipped up, though.” She walked away, and Raleigh laughed, while Levi went pale and checked immediately if he’d ashamed himself like that. Once he was sure Meryl had just been playing him, he elbowed Raleigh.

“Ouch.” He murmured.

“You are supposed to prevent these things from happening. What else are you my friend for?” Raleigh rolled his eyes and sighed. Maybe Melissa would be in a better mood than Levi when they met up, after school. He then thought of Saturday night, and everything was fine again.

 

“What are you doing here?” Amy asked. “Didn’t you finish, like, an hour earlier?” Camden looked up and saw his best friend, and obviously panicked. He was sitting on Eleanor’s front steps for the jerk of Conrad Payne, but he suddenly realised it was a topic he could not discuss with Amy. He _had_ made her promise not to date any football players, after all. He had no right to have shared a cup of coffee on Saturday night with him, much less to have agreed to a second… ‘Date’ was it? He didn’t even know what was going on between him and Conrad, but he still felt angry about being stood up.

“I...” he thought of a good excuse. “Was waiting for you, actually.” He knew Amy expected him to apologise at some point for what had happened at the concert, anyway. “I’m sorry for what happened on Saturday night.” Amy studied him for a while.

“Only because you got caught.” Camden smiled.

“I won’t deny it. But you have to admit most people wouldn’t get any kind of apology at all from me.” Amy rolled her eyes.

“True.” She stepped forward and hugged him. “I’ve kind of missed you. I’ve been meaning to tell you something, but you have to promise you won’t overreact.”

“I can’t promise anything.” Amy sighed. Camden _was_ dramatic by a law of nature, but still. Sometimes she wished he could just be happy for her, without criticising the possible mistakes in her acts.

“After I left with Ezekiel, we went over to my place. We talked, we watched a movie, and we ate some pizza...” Camden went pale.

“Oh my God, please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.” Amy blushed violently.

“Jesus, Cam, no! But, we almost kissed.” Camden’s mouth fell open.

“I can’t believe this! You kissed?!” Amy glared and Camden took a deep breath.

“ _Almost_.” She was obviously disappointed that it hadn’t happened.

“Okay, okay. Who do I need to thank for interrupting?” Amy rolled her eyes.

“Raleigh. He’d just gotten home from Melissa’s. Then Edgar showed up, so he, Raleigh and I got in a little argument.” She sighed. “I just can’t stand that guy, you know?”

“So why don’t you just banish him? You know your mother wouldn’t hesitate if you asked her.”

“My mother seems to really like him, and he is nice to her. Raleigh is leaving soon for college, and it’s only a year until I do so, too. I can’t ask her to risk being home all alone when she could be with her significant other.” Camden thought about it.

“That’s the difference between you and me, my dear Amy. I wouldn’t care kicking his sorry ass to the street, because a jerk will always deserve it.” He stole a glance at his phone, checking the time. “You have piano practise now, don’t you?” Amy nodded. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yup, see you tomorrow. I might text you later, though.” She kissed him on the cheek and took off.

“Stay away from Ez!” _Damn_. He hadn’t forgotten about it, when she hoped he would let it go after the conversation about Edgar.

He walked home. He normally wouldn’t, ‘Walking is for the damned and the low middle class’ he would say, but he didn’t feel public transport was much better in that moment, and he wanted to avoid running into anyone (aka Conrad) although he probably was at his place already. He must have been laughing at him, how he’d agreed to go out with him and then was stood up. He had barely made it home when a silver Honda parked outside.

Conrad was sort of surprised. Camden’s house was awfully... normal. A green front yard, where a girl, presumably Briony, was gardening. She had big, deep eyes and even from afar you could tell she had a great spirit. A dark-skinned man was watering the flowers, and through one of the windows he could make out a man washing the dishes. He had just taken in the first impression of the place when Camden walked into the scene. He didn’t have to roll the window down to call out to him, because Camden noticed him immediately. He could tell right away that he was truly pissed. He rolled the window down and Camden glared at him for any salute.

“What are you doing here?” Conrad winced.

“Hello to you too, Camden.” He sighed. “I came here to apologise.”

“What about?” Conrad rolled his eyes; he _knew_ Camden was just acting. He knew he preferred to act like he didn’t remember and simply hated him like before Saturday night. But he knew he and Camden had achieved something that night, and he knew he was angry because he cared.

“I’m sorry I stood you up, Camden, I mean it. Something came up, and on the way back traffic was a living hell. You can check if you don’t believe me, I skipped all classes after first period.” Camden was angry not only because Conrad had made him wait, but also because part of him wanted to believe him, wanted to forgive him. Part of him even thought he was being too hard on Conrad for all of it.

“Yeah, and I will believe you, as if you hadn’t been laughing at me, for even thinking you might be different, for giving you a chance. You know what, Payne? You’re an ass.” For all answer, Conrad pulled out his phone.

‘”Just tell me you’ll let me pick you up on Monday.”

“Whatever.”’

“I just want you to hear me out. Get in the car, and if my explanation isn’t satisfactory enough, I’ll drive you back home.” Camden thought about it for a second.

“And if I do buy whatever lie you tell me, where would we be headed to?”

“My place.” Camden hesitated for a second, then turned around.

“Tate! I’m going out, tell dad I should be back soon, or I’ll text otherwise.” The man watering the flowers nodded, and Briony waved. “Take care, Briony!” Then he got in the car. “Start talking, you’ve got ten minutes.” Conrad grinned and started the car.

“I was at the cemetery.” He told him, and Camden’s eyes widened.

“Oh, you’ll have to do much better than that. Now what, you’ll tell me you were burying your grandma? That she died this morning in the middle of an exam and that you probably got an F and you stood me up because traffic was terrible after the funeral? Get real.” Conrad let go of a sad smile.

“My grandmother did die today, but four years ago. It’s the fourth anniversary of her death. She died when I was fourteen and, dammit, I miss her. I was in the middle of Physics when I remembered and I went there as fast as I could, you know why?” Camden decided not to say anything. He had already screwed up enough. Conrad took his silence as an encouragement to go on. “Because I had promised this guy I would take him out and I knew he would hate me if I was late. Anyway, I told her I couldn’t stay for long but I would be back, and before I realised it was already too late. So I called in for some favours to get your address, and here I am. I am truly sorry for the inconvenience, Camden Fairchild.”

“I feel like you’re emotionally blackmailing me into going with you to your place.” Camden was trying to be sincere. All that talk about his dead grandmother... he couldn’t possibly be so inhuman to have made it up, but it was also a low move. Conrad thought about it.

“That’s true. That’s why I thought of bribing you, too. Open the glove box.” Camden looked suspiciously at Conrad, and reluctantly opened the glove box. There he found the car’s papers and... A pack of Skittles.

“Okay, no. Someone has totally ratted me out to you.” Conrad laughed.

“I’m a good observer, it’s all. You have them in Math, like, all the time.” Camden was starting to doubt Conrad but, then again, he had no real reason to lie.

“So you’re a stalker. Creepy.”

“We’re almost there, am I supposed to turn around?” Conrad could almost feel his own anxiety on the air, but he tried to dissimulate it the best he could.

“No.” He looked at Camden by the corner of his eye. He was already swallowing the candy, like there was nothing better in the world.

His apartment was messy. It was the first thing Camden noticed. But it was just untidy, it wasn’t dirty. Conrad said his dad would be on the lab almost the entire day, as he usually did. Camden was feeling a bit out of place, since he shouldn’t really be there. He shouldn’t be alone, with Conrad Payne, in his apartment, eating Skittles.

“Was that your car?” He asked.

“Nah, it’s my father’s. But he only uses it on weekends, because the lab is a block from here and he prefers to walk. So I borrow it to go to class.”

“I see.” They made their way to Conrad’s room in silence. Everything was much more organised in there. Books were stashed neatly on bookshelves, and his desk was in absolute order. His bed was perfectly done, not a single crinkle on the comforter. Conrad sat on the chair in front of his desk, and gestured for him to sit on the bed.

“So, are we going to let this awkward silence to go on forever, or are you going to take a leap of faith and finally trust me?” Camden sat, and took a look around him. There were stars pasted to the ceiling, the kind that glow in the dark and are usually used by parents so their children won’t be afraid of the dark. A planetarium hung from the ceiling over the desk, and half the books on the shelves talked about the space, stars and planets.

“You wanna be an astronaut?” He said, and even though he hadn’t given an actual answer to Conrad’s question, he could tell from the tension that had disappeared from Conrad’s shoulders, that some of the awkwardness was gone.

“Not exactly. I wanna be an astronomer. I wanna be the one figuring out the space, discovering planets, naming stars. A bit less sexy, but a bit more powerful.”

“What will you name the first star you get to name?” He thought Conrad would take a moment to think about it, but he answered right away.

“Elisa.” Camden arched up an eyebrow.

“First love?” Conrad rolled his eyes.

“I told you, I’m _gay_.” Camden held his hands up, for any apology. “It’s my grandmother’s name.”

“So that’s you trying to be a good kid.” He suddenly remembered the talk in the car. “Are you trying to impress me?” Conrad laughed, but held his gaze in a rather alarming way. Conrad might have been an absolutely forbidden football player, but he was very, very handsome.

“Yeah, kind of. Just to be clear, I like you, Camden Fairchild. I’m not going to say I don’t, because I intend to be honest.” He began laughing. “What I mean to say is that I find you very interesting.” Camden couldn’t help grinning, yet his joy died suddenly.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t think of one thing that would make you think I’m interesting at all. My hobbies are supervising Amy’s love life and criticising all the decisions made in America’s Next Top Model. I’m not sure how would anyone find me _that_ interesting. Sure, I am definitely not unattractive and quite smart. But it doesn’t cut it down to the impression you seem to have of me.” Conrad took it in and thought about it for a while, then lifted his index finger, to announce he had an answer.

“Let me reply you with a question. When did you find out you were gay?” Camden was confused, he didn’t know what could that have to do with anything, but he answered anyway.

“Dunno. Around the time I was six, or something? It isn't like I knew I was into dudes, I just... I noticed I didn't care for girls, I guess. Why?”

“And did you ever lie about it? Hesitate when asked about it?” Camden gave him an even stranger look.

“Of course not. What’s the point, anyway? If I wanted to be straight and date some girl, I would’ve dated Amy. No other girl in the world could top her.”

“And what are your thoughts on your sister, Briony?” Camden didn’t even blink, he answered right away. You could tell he firmly believed what he was about to say.

“Briony is a superhero. Nobody can tell me otherwise. You saw her earlier, didn’t you? Didn’t she seem like the very embodiment of power and confidence?” Conrad laughed, and Camden frowned.

“I’m not laughing at Briony, I swear.” He rushed to explain. “But that’s it. That’s exactly why I find you interesting. You are... so _real_. You’re unafraid, and you don’t think it twice before calling your sister a superhero. You don’t fake your opinion of others. You called me an ass without even blinking. You are like the few things that have made me actually happy.” Camden didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want to look stupid. He felt weird, he normally didn’t care for what others thought of him, but he did care about what Conrad had just told him.

“I still believe in the emotional blackmail thing I told you about like, ten minutes ago.” Conrad sighed.

“Okay, you win, I won’t use it ever again, Camden Fairchild. Actually, may I call you something else? Like Cam, or Denny? I actually like Denny a lot.” Camden winced.

“Denny is horrendous. Disgraceful, shameful, despicable... I don’t know if I can come up with yet another synonym, but the fact stays the same. Denny is the worst nick you could give anyone. I’d rather chop off my arm and eat ants. And don’t get too ahead of yourself, Conrad. We haven’t reached that point; you haven’t even bought me a soda yet.”

“Actually...” Camden read his thoughts, and he wasn’t okay with it. He was way less than okay. There was a point to how much he could stand, and even if Conrad was only trying to be nice, bringing out all of this was just too much.

“Okay, no, that’s enough. I may not know who is selling me, but I know what’s going on. And I gotta tell you that I’m not okay with you acting like this, ‘guessing’ every little thing about me like nothing, forcing me, making me—”

“Making you what?” Conrad asked. Camden couldn’t tell when exactly did he move, but Conrad was way closer than the last time he’d checked.

“Making me believe it is actually safe to...” he stopped himself. It didn’t matter anyway, it wasn’t safe; he couldn’t let his guard down and _trust_ Conrad Payne. “I think it’s better if I leave.” He stood up, but Conrad did the same and grabbed his wrist, though Camden didn’t turn around. “Oh my God, Payne, could you for _once_ let me go? Accept that even though you might look like someone who should be on the cover of Teen Vogue, it doesn’t mean you are going to get every guy you lay your eyes on.” Conrad smirked.

“You’re just walking away because you’re scared I might succeed. I never took you for a coward, to be honest.” Camden turned and faced him.

“So what then? Should I stay play videogames with you, talk about Hawking’s theories until midnight, then assume it would be better to spend the night, and have you wake me up with breakfast?” He yelled. “I don’t think that’s going to work, do you? I don’t think we’d ever be a fit for something like that. You and I together, are not couple material, Conrad.”

“I happen not to agree. Things needn’t be rushed, either.” Camden sighed. _Did you just use ‘needn’t’? How old are you, eighty?_

“What would you have me do, then?” Conrad put his hands on his shoulders, and took a deep breath.

“I would like for you to give me a chance, and trust me. For starters, could I… could I, maybe, kiss you?” Camden looked down, somewhat nervous. He hated feeling like that, he wasn’t some foolish romantic. He wasn’t the sixteen-year-old nerd in every American movie hoping to hook up with the quarterback and becoming popular, yet...

“I would still deny everything on the morrow.” Conrad grinned.

“I don’t need you to answer for any of this, unless you really want to.” He pulled him closer, and even though Camden had promised himself to act like it wasn’t a big deal, he couldn’t close his eyes and had to clench his fists, because he didn’t know what to do if someone like Conrad kissed him.


	5. Chapter 5

“Levi.” Raleigh whispered, trying not to get caught. “Levi, hey.” Levi wasn’t doing anything but pretending to pay attention to their Biology teacher.

“What is it?” He murmured back.

“There’s something I gotta tell you and I couldn’t tell you yesterday because you were, uhm, kind of with your head in the clouds?” Levi nodded. He didn’t exactly remember being so spaced out the day before, but if Raleigh was saying so maybe he had, indeed, been a bit distracted. “Anyway,” he grinned, so widely, Levi wondered if his cheeks hurt. “On Saturday night, after the concert, I took Melissa home because, as anyone could’ve foreseen, she fell asleep. And when we were in her room, I kind of got tired of being her just a friend.” Levi smirked.

“You bastard, you finally did it. God, wish I had been there to watch.” Raleigh giggled, carefully eyeing the teacher, so he wouldn’t get caught. “Thinking better of it, it’s a good thing I wasn’t there. I don’t think I could cope with the traumatising image of you hooking up with Melissa.” Raleigh snickered, and the teacher turned around at the sound of his laughter.

“Mr. String, would you care to share what is it so funny that you find it proper to interrupt my class for?” Raleigh winced, he didn’t know what to say.

“Oh, Mr. Knight, my friend here was just laughing at my comment on how obvious your toupee is. And really, you should consider embracing baldness, because it is an embarrassing thing for a man your age to try and hide the effects of time.” The teacher went from bothered grey to furious red and being plump and all, it made him look like a giant tomato.

“Both of you, out! Straight to the principal’s office!” Raleigh high-fived Levi on their way out, and they laughed the entire way to the principal’s.

 

English had never been more torturous. He counted every second, and the scene from the day before played endlessly in his head. He was so nervous, so anxious, he felt like he needed to break something because he hated that sensation. Camden told himself over and over that it had nothing to do with Conrad, but he wasn’t stupid. If he didn’t calm down before they crossed paths on the hallway (because that was destined to happen at some point of the day), he would totally embarrass himself. He had to keep it cool. He had to find a way to keep Amy in the dark about it. At least until he was clear about what he wanted to do.

He was thinking of a strategy when life proved even more difficult than he had anticipated. Conrad walked into the classroom, carrying some folders. His first instinct was to look down and pretend he wasn’t even there. What was _he_ doing there? Wasn’t he supposed to be at some other class like Physics or whatever?

Something in his brain that was obviously not working properly, however, made him feel the need to take another peek. To look at him, steal a glance. He lifted his eyes and averted them immediately, as he realised Conrad was looking at him while the teacher told him something about the folders he had brought along. Was he carrying messages and things for the teachers? Since when did teachers trust him so?

Camden noticed he had never truly paid attention to Conrad. He knew nothing about him. He had seen him on freshman year and decided he wasn’t worth his while. Why did he feel like he was starting to change his mind after all this time? _Ugh_ , he hated it, all of it. Before Conrad Payne, there wasn’t any rule-breaking and he was safe.

He looked up, once again, only to find Conrad still looking at him. Conrad smiled, ever so slightly, only for him to see. He moved his fingers faintly to greet him back. _Stupid_ , Camden thought. _Why did you greet him? He doesn’t need any extra encouragement_. Conrad walked out the classroom and Camden felt himself burning, aching for the absence. _I’m so screwed_ , was all he could think.

The class was over before he was ready. He knew what would happen, he even got the déjà vu feeling when he walked past the doorway and saw Conrad, with his back resting against the lockers. He grinned again, this time wider, this time not taking any precautions. He felt as if he should hide. As if Conrad were the big bad wolf and were about to eat him.

“Hi there.” He said.

“Follow me.” Was Camden’s reply, and Conrad simply shrugged and went along. _Shouldn’t he at least ask where are we going?_ Camden wondered. He didn’t quite understand Conrad’s way of trusting him so blindly. He walked down the hall until he found the only corridor in Eleanor Roosevelt that was always deserted. Mainly because there was nothing there and it led nowhere. It was even sort of hidden, only able to get to through a series of twists and turns most people didn’t bother to learn. Only labs and old empty classrooms were nearby.

“I suppose you brought me here so no one can see me cry when you tell me you still think it’s better if there’s nothing between us?” Camden could tell that, even though he was joking, Conrad sort of dreaded the possibility.

“Actually—”

“Good, that’s good.” Conrad sighed, and Camden couldn’t believe how relieved he seemed. “Okay, now you can say whatever you want.”

“I’m just not sure if I wanna go public yet, I mean, I don’t even know what this is, what we are to each other and all that crap and I just thought it would be easier if…” he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else because he didn’t know what he wanted. His mind was a total mess.

“If we totally avoided each other and pretended nothing has ever happened, if we acted like we used to before and we began sneaking around to be whatever we are?” Conrad had an incredible poker face, so Camden couldn’t tell if he was suggesting it, or if he was pissed.

“Yeah?” He saw Conrad’s face turn into disappointment, and he wanted to take it back. “I guess?”

“Look, Cam, I told you yesterday. I like you, and I want you to give me… us a shot, but I’m not going to force myself on you. If you want to be with me, that’s great. I’m not going to sneak around for the sake of whatever reputation or ideal you’re trying to protect.”

“Conrad, I’m not sure I can right now.”

“That’s cool, I have time if waiting is what you want me to do. I told you I’m not going to emotionally exhort you, or put you in a difficult position. But in return I expect honesty from you.” He patted Camden’s shoulder. “I’ll see you around, I guess.” Conrad smiled and walked away. _Damn it_. He wasn’t sure this was what he wanted. He didn’t know if being Conrad’s _boyfriend_ was it either. Yet there was only one way to find out, and he hated to admit it, but he knew he would have to acknowledge the truth sooner or later.

 

Amy bumped into someone and dropped all her textbooks. Classic. She hadn’t seen Cam yet, didn’t know where the hell he was. She was late for World History, and the last thing she needed was for her books to fly all across the hall. The boy she’d crushed turned around, and for the first time in that morning, Amy thought maybe it had been good luck to drop her stuff.

“I’m so sorry.” Ezekiel apologised, bending over to help her pick up her books.

“Don’t worry,” she said, with a wide smile. “I’ve been looking for you, actually. I didn’t see you yesterday, and I wanted to apologise in person for the awful end of Saturday night’s date.” Ezekiel laughed.

“Did we go to the same date? Because I thought it went perfectly.” Amy looked at him, both with their faces half way to the floor. She got the stupid butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling she and Camden had always made fun of.

“Then you wouldn’t mind going on a second one?” Ezekiel laughed, nervously. He hadn’t even dared to dream of Amy asking him out again ever again. What were the odds? And even so, there she was, asking about a second date.

“I think I’ll take your offer, miss.” He handed her the books he’d picked. “Here. Now go, I don’t want you to be late on my account.”

“Thanks.” She winked at him as she walked away. “I have a window for tardiness in World History. Miss Boyan likes me, and there are some perks to it.” She was about to make it to the classroom when she bumped into Camden.

“Amy?” He asked, totally surprised. He didn’t expect to run into her at all.

“Cam!” She exclaimed, happy to see him. She was already late to class, so what the hell. She wanted to catch up with her best friend who, by the way, seemed at the verge of a nerve wreck. “Is everything okay? You seem a bit edgy.”

“I’m fine.” He lied before he could decide whether he should or not.

“Come on, Cam. It’s me, your best friend. You can tell me anything.” Camden didn’t feel ready to tell Amy, not yet. But the panic in his face made Amy worry and she pushed him. “I don’t care if I have to skip World History. You’re telling me what’s going on, and you’re not going to miss one little detail. I want to help.” Camden glared.

“Fine, but I want a soda first, and you gotta talk to me about something else before I say anything.” Amy was about to agree, but he interrupted her. “ _And_ , you have to treat me some Skittles because, God, I could use some sugar right now.” Amy rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you want, but let’s go.”

 

“Miss Boyan!” Levi let out as her figure made it out of the principal’s office. “It seems my luck just smiled at me.” Raleigh tried to look like he wasn’t there. Levi _was_ his best friend, but he had to admit his flirting with the teacher was a bit too childish, even for him.

“Mr. Waldorf and… Mr. String. I’m not sure I can say the same for the two of you. May I know what are you doing here, besides slowing me from getting to my class?” Levi smiled, he liked her when she talked all high and mighty like that.

“I’m loving that harsh asymmetry in your words, Miss Boyan. It kind of turns me on.” She kept a straight face, but looked away for a second. The mere idea of having disturbed her made him feel alive. “We’re here because I covered for Raleigh whispering in class by telling Mr. Knight he should try rocking the bald look.” He was hoping for a disapproving look, but both he and Raleigh gasped in surprise when, after a moment of silence, Meryl cracked up.

She laughed freely, nearly running out of air, and Levi thought how it was the first time he saw her like a normal human, someone at his reach. He craved that person now, he knew. He needed that real, earthly person: Meryl, just Meryl. Not all heavenly and unattainable Miss Boyan, but the woman that was in front of him laughing at something so trivial he would’ve never guessed it could be funny to her.

“He _should_ get rid of that ridiculous toupee.” She admitted. “Okay, you two wait here. I’ll see what I can do to get you out of trouble.” She went back into the principal’s office, giggling still. Raleigh sighed.

“Who would’ve guessed? So witty and strict in class, such a great sense of humour outside. Maybe you _should_ ask her out, after all.” Levi smiled, a little gone.

“I told you there were different depths to her. I’m aching to reach the deepest.” Raleigh laughed.

“Man, you’re disgusting. I don’t want to know how metaphorically you meant that, by the way.” Levi looked at Raleigh, with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Says the one who made out with a girl in all Sleeping Beauty style.” Raleigh rolled his eyes.

“Dude, you’re the only one who thinks that psycho version is the original one.” He cleared his throat. “And she was pretty awake, I swear.” Levi eyed him by the corner of the eye, and laughed.

“Look at you, flushing all shades of red now. You’ve turned into a fucking middle school girl, String.” Raleigh turned even redder.

“Shut up, asshole.”

 

“So, what has you all worried and jumpy?” Amy asked after a while of talking about her day, her classes and, of course, her crushing into Ezekiel, to what she got an angry look from Cam. They were sitting on a bench, outside. He was gorging down his Skittles, so he swallowed, took a sip of his Dr Pepper Cherry, and sighed.

“You promise not to judge me?” Amy rolled her eyes.

“Camden Louis Fairchild, when have _I_ ever judged you in any way?” Camden rolled his eyes, annoyed by the way she resented him for having had an opinion on many things about her.

“In my defence, I have never judged you _directly_.”

“Whatever. Talk, it’s all I care about.” Cam made a brief pause, then faced the music that he would have to tell her sooner or later, and if he told her, she could actually help him make up his mind.

“I think I might be getting into this thing with a football player.” Amy was so shocked by the announcement, she stayed blank for a couple seconds. She didn’t know how to react without giving herself away, plus, she hadn’t expected for it to work so quickly.

“Whoa” was the first thing she could come up with, and she hated herself for it. “I mean, oh my God, who? You have to tell me all about it.”

“You mean you’re not mad? Or disappointed? Or concerned?” Amy laughed.

“Mad at what? Your advice has kept me from a couple jerks, actually. And you finally opening your narrow mind a bit is a cause for celebration, silly. Also, knowing you, he has to be a really nice guy, considering how harsh you are to judge people.” Camden sighed with relief. Now that he saw it wasn’t such a big deal to Amy, he felt as if it wasn’t a big deal at all. Like, he might be dating a football player, who cared?

“Yeah, I guess he is a nice guy.” _Pretty decent, to be honest_. Conrad had been very noble and straightforward thus far.

“So who is it?” Camden smiled.

“Conrad Payne.” Amy snickered.

“The one you told me was just a pretty face? I can’t believe you! Oh my, Cam, I could’ve never guessed. How did he even get you to talk to him?”

“He invited me a cup of coffee when he saw you’d ditched me after the concert. I told him nothing could make my night worse, so what the hell. Then he made me promise to meet him again and, well, I don’t know. One moment I was telling him to fuck off and get lost, the next one we were kissing.” Amy was looking at him all starry eyed and he had to admit that face would have given him the creeps if it were anyone other than Amy.

“What? What are you fangirling so hard about?”

“You liiiiiiiiiiiike him.” She extended the word in the most annoying, childish possible way.

“No, I don’t. He’s a fairly decent person with terribly good looks, and that confuses me, but there’s nothing more.” Amy elbowed him.

“You do, you like him.” She giggled. “You can’t see your face right now, but you look oh so embarrassed, and flushed, and flustered; oh my God, you fell _hard_. I have never seen you like this before. You should fall for guys more often, you are so cuuute.”

“Watch your words, don’t talk to me like I’m some sort of furry animal, like a chipmunk or a chinchilla. I’m not embarrassed, I’m annoyed.” Amy squinted, because she didn’t believe him. It was better to fight some other battles rather than that one, though.

“But tell me, Cam. Is it really that bad to have lovey-dovey feelings about Conrad? I mean, the longest you’ve ever dated anyone has been like, what? Three dates? Don’t you think you deserve something better? Did you _ever_ truly like any of those guys you’ve dated?” She took his hands. “I only want to see you happy, Cam. Is it really _that_ bad to like someone for real and look forward to a happy relationship?” Camden wanted to tell her to leave him alone, but it was _Amy_. He had sort of sworn to himself to always be nice to her, and she had a point. He answered the only way he could.

“The next time you say ‘lovey-dovey’, I’m calling our friendship off.” Amy laughed.

 

He was feeling a bit insecure about the way he’d handled things. What if he’d driven Cam away? Should he have accepted Cam’s proposal to lay low for a while? God, he missed him. He had only kissed him once, or like, five times, but one afternoon in short. He had only kissed him then and he already felt all anxious, felt he had to see him all the time, felt he needed to be with him.

He didn’t quite understand. Did it mean he’d lost it? Conrad could name every single element of the periodic table, but didn’t get shit about relationships, about romance. That was probably why he’d stayed behind all that time, comfortable with just having a crush on this guy in his Math class. That was why he went with the flow, doing what he thought was right at the moment, what he thought wisest. But he was a simple eighteen-year-old teenager, what wisdom could he have?

He texted the only person who could shine a light on him then. The person who had helped him achieve his goal of getting Camden to talk to him.

Conrad: I think I might b screwing it all up

Amy: What do u mean?

Conrad: I told Cam I wanted smth honest or nothing at all

Amy: I should probably stay silent but, boy r u wrong

Conrad: What do u mean?

Amy: He’s going nuts. U have him right where u want him ;)

Conrad: Okay, that’s cool. I mean great. I mean, thank u J

Amy: OMG u 2 r so cute! xoxo

He laughed, then he remembered he was in Spanish class, so he tried to cover it by coughing. The teacher didn’t really buy it, but at least she didn’t say anything either.

 

“Hey there, I’ve kind of missed you today.” Raleigh told Melissa when she appeared next to him after he closed his locker. Her hat fell sideways across her face, and he reached out to fix it, his fingers tingling with the proximity. She smiled, closing her eyes before he did anything at all. He realised he was even more nervous than usual, the idea of what was permitted to him now making him numb. She opened one eye, since he was taking his time, and caught him staring.

“You’re helpless, String.” She stated, before stealing a kiss. “I can’t believe that after everything that’s happened, you dare to hesitate before kissing me.” He blushed.

“I know, I’m just… too happy? I don’t know how to put it. Levi would say I’m pathetic.” Melissa snickered.

“I say you’re sort of cute.” She smiled. “Come on, we’ve got Math now.” Raleigh arched up an eyebrow.

“You serious? Worried about making it late to _Math_?” He chuckled. “You sleep right through it; why do you bother to make it look like you care?” She smiled.

“I heard today we’re supposed to work in groups. And the teacher will be leaving half an hour earlier or something, because there’re some errands he has to run.” Raleigh stared into her dark eyes.

“So you’ll wake up for those thirty minutes.” He guessed.

“I’ll be conscious enough.” He took her hand and they made their way to Math. It was the only class they all (Melissa, Levi, Camden, Conrad, even that new guy, and he) had at the same time. They were all there, and the feeling in the room was sort of strange. Raleigh could see Camden avoiding eye contact with… Conrad Payne? Weird. And glaring heatedly at the new guy. Levi was staring at the ceiling, playing with his pencil. A couple girls stared at him and giggled every once in a while. He sat down by Levi, Melissa sat in front of him. He had a clear view of the curve of her neck, and decided it would serve as a great distraction.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked Levi, who still looked up as if he would find some sort of revelation in the endless white above him.

“I think she likes me. I’m not sure how to make her show it yet, and that’s my problem.” He didn’t avert the eyes from the ceiling as he talked.

“Who likes you?” Sometimes Raleigh had a hard time when Levi ranted like that.

“Miss Boyan.” Raleigh sighed, as if he should’ve expected that kind of nonsense from him.

“You’re out of your mind.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll see for yourself, soon enough.” Raleigh rolled his eyes. He was about to add something, but the teacher walked in then, and said something about logarithms, then announced the assignment. Group work, just like Melissa had said.

 

“I can’t believe this,” was all he could say at the moment. Fate was a bitch, he decided. Camden was stuck in the worst possible group work ever, for a _Math_ assignment. That was the equivalent of turning heaven into hell. Conrad looked a bit uncomfortable, whereas Ezekiel looked as if he would rather be at the bottom of Tartarus instead of there.

“We should better do this quick, then.” Conrad intervened. He didn’t know what Camden’s deal with Ezekiel was, but they definitely didn’t like each other at all. Ezekiel seemed like a good guy to Conrad, and looked ready to help end that as soon as possible.

“I refuse,” Camden said. “I’m not gonna work with him. In fact, I shouldn’t be sitting this close to him at all. His stupidity might be contagious.” Ezekiel seemed offended.

“Hey, that was rude.” Ezekiel said.

“You think? I can be worse, believe me.” Conrad could see a massacre starting any moment if he didn’t do something.

“Okay, enough. I don’t care what happened between you two, I don’t care who broke up with whom, I only want—” Camden turned to him.

“Do you really think I’d date _this_?” He gestured at Ezekiel. “You should know better than most; he is awfully far from being my type.” Conrad’s eyes sparkled, and something warm spread through his chest. Did that mean _he_ was Cam’s type? He could only think about that for a moment, because he was trying not to lose focus.

“I’m not gay.” Was all Ezekiel could say for himself.

“Of course you’re not. If you were, maybe you would notice Amy is a princess and is way out of your league.” Conrad rolled his eyes, while Ezekiel tried to find a comeback, but it was way too obvious he wasn’t mean enough.

“Fine, you hate Ezekiel, he doesn’t like you either. We still have an assignment.” Camden glared a while at Ezekiel, then turned to Conrad, who used his best pleading face. Camden looked away. _One day I’m gonna regret making that look on his face a weakness of mine_.

“Whatever. Just make sure nothing of his touches anything of mine. And if he talks to me directly, I’m stabbing his hand with my pencil. I mean it.” Ezekiel looked alarmed, but Conrad smiled.

“Thank you, Cam.” Camden glared at him, then, but he could tell the glaring was slightly different. It didn’t have that nasty end to it, the one that made you feel like he could kill you with his eyesight if he tried hard enough. It was nothing like the first time he’d glared at him.

“Don’t get all cocky, Payne, I didn’t do it for you.”

“Of course. Now, shall we?” They all stared at their worksheets. Cam thought it would take some time, but the exercises weren’t difficult at all. As usual, ‘group work’ meant they would all work on their own stuff only now they were allowed to ask the rest of their group if they had any doubts. Ezekiel didn’t look away from his paper. He didn’t enjoy Math, but the teacher had clearly not put his heart on that worksheet. It wasn’t half as difficult as usual.

Conrad was done before anyone else. Camden could tell because he took out a copybook and began scribbling something on it.

“What are you doing?” He asked, a bit bothered because Conrad being smart was like a new thing to him.

“Writing my English assignment.” He looked too calm, Cam hated that. He sort of wanted him standing in his toes, anxiously waiting for him to change his mind. He eyed Ezekiel to make sure he was still distracted by the equations. He was.

 “Are you really done with the exercises?” Conrad looked up from his copybook.

“Is that what is truly bothering you?” Camden understood right away where Conrad was going with that question, so he looked away and didn’t answer. Ezekiel asked Conrad something about an exercise, and Camden felt the urge to punch him in the nose. When he reached an equation he couldn’t quite solve, his pride won and didn’t ask a thing.

 

“I want summer back” Camden told Amy as soon as Math was over. The last thirty minutes had been a torture. What was the teacher thinking by leaving early? He had to sit there doing nothing while Raleigh and Melissa were being disgusting, giving each other little kisses and whispering things. Conrad was busy with his copybook the entire time. He didn’t glance at him _once_.

“Why? So you can go back to that moron you were dating?” She squinted, trying to get the truth out of him. It wasn’t like Cam was dishonest with her, the problem was that Cam wasn’t honest with himself. He preferred to lie and deny any connection to those truths that made him uncomfortable.

“He had a killing back and majestic eyelashes.” He hadn’t thought of him of late, now that Amy mentioned him. That was weird, up until the last day of summer it felt like he had his name tattooed on his bones. Now it didn’t feel like that anymore. As they made their way to the parking lot, Amy saw Ezekiel.

“Ez!” She called out to him. Cam looked at her, bewildered.

“What are you doing?” He exclaimed. “I’ve had enough of that imbecile to last me for a hundred lifetimes. I don’t want him talking to us.” Ezekiel saw Amy, and walked up to her, in spite of Cam glaring at him like never before. It got easier, he realised. As Cam had glared at him for the past two hours, he was sort of developing a shield system.

“Hi Amy.” He said, a slight blush on his cheeks. _Pathetic_ , Camden thought.

“Fuck off.” Camden told him. Ez sighed, but otherwise ignored him.

“Hey, so I was wondering whether you were coming to the game this Friday.”

“We don’t attend events that lack the use of wits.” Camden rushed to say.

“I was talking to _her_.” Ezekiel replied. He was getting more and more done with Camden, even if he was Amy’s best friend.

“It’s fine.” Amy intervened, before any of them could say anything else. “I’d love to go with you, Ez. I’ve never been to a game before, but I guess I should try going, get some school spirit. ‘Go, Badgers!’ And all that stuff.” Camden was looking at her with reproach.

“Whatever, do as you please. I’m not going, though.”

“I’m fine with him not coming.” Ezekiel told Amy.

“Actually, I think you should tag along, Cam.” Amy seemed determined.

“What?” Both Cam and Ezekiel exclaimed.

“I have already made an appointment with Briony and my TV, you can’t ruin my plans.” Camden said, but Amy had already made up her mind and wasn’t going to let him escape.

“No, you haven’t. And you will come with me, and we’ll watch the entire match from the bleachers and we will have a terrific time. Am I clear?” Ezekiel didn’t say a word. Amy was sort of scary when she was bossy, and Cam stared at her in silence like one of those kids who don’t yell at their parents but definitely whisper ‘I hate you’ through their gaze.


	6. Chapter 6

Levi looked at Raleigh, confused, not sure if he’d heard well.

“We’re going to _what_?”

“To the game. Eleanor Roosevelt’s Badgers versus Riverbank’s Hornets. Amy’s going. And so are we.” Levi would’ve groaned in disagreement with their plans, but laughed instead. He took his eyes off the window and looked at Raleigh.

“Your sense of which activities are fun to do has gone a little off since you started dating Melissa.” He turned to Melissa, who was nodding off in the backseat. “No offense.” She didn’t reply, for she was almost asleep.

“We’re _seniors_. We’ve never been to a game. This is in every list of ‘what to do before leaving high school’.”

“Those lists are for morons and nerds with no social life who wish to feel like they accomplished something before they go to be even geekier at college. It is not for us.” Raleigh ignored him. “Stop the car, I’m not going.” Raleigh had to recur to his last resource.

“I heard Miss Boyan gives them advice before every game. She apparently makes good speeches.” Levi squinted, trying to figure out if he was lying or not.

“Fine.” Levi said. “But I’ll stay as far away from the bleachers as possible.”

“I’ll save you a seat in case you change your mind.” Melissa murmured from the back seat.

“I get the sensation she’s not saying so because she’s trying to be nice.” Levi told Raleigh.

“Some people say I have an evil mind, but I don’t use it that much.” Levi considered it for a moment, then moved on.

“So, who is your sister bringing?” If he had to bore to death, he’d like to know who he was dying with.

“Camden, and uh, her wannabe boyfriend.” Levi squinted.

“The big, clumsy dude that got transferred this year?” Raleigh nodded. “Your sister has a terrible taste. I expected more from her.” Raleigh shrugged.

“Maybe having me at home all the time made her tired of handsome people.” He guessed.

“You’re not that handsome, to be honest.” Melissa said.

“What?” Raleigh exclaimed, and Levi smirked, amused.

 

Camden made his best to look as annoyed as possible all the way to the game. His dad had lent him his car. Maybe because he found it was some sort of strange occurrence that he was attending something he hated as much as a football game. When Amy said they had to pick up Ezekiel, Camden snapped.

“I never agreed to anything of the sort. He is not touching this car.” Amy frowned. “Don’t. You don’t get to be upset about this because I already agreed to come to this stupid game, in which I have no business. In fact, you know better than anyone that I hate any kind of sports. I hate playing them, I hate watching them, and I hate discussing them. The only time I’ve watched a sport match is when it was the Olympics and there were some really hot dudes on screen, and this is not the case. So could you please not ask for any more sacrifices than those I have already made?” He was out of breath, but was pretty sure he’d made his point.

“Pretty please?” She said. Camden gave her a look of ‘unbelievable’, then sighed.

“I hate it when you do that.” Ten minutes later they were outside of Ezekiel’s house. He got out after a minute and got in the car, only to find out Cam was driving.

“ _He_ is driving? Amy, this is insane. He is capable of crushing the car just to see if he can kill me.” Cam snorted.

“You’re quite right… except you’re wrong. I can’t kill you by crashing the car and be a hundred percent sure Amy and I would survive. Your life isn’t worth mine, and let’s not even get started how much more worth is Amy’s life than yours.” Ez rolled his eyes, and Amy gave him an apologetic look. She had already forced Cam to pick him up. Asking him to be polite as well wouldn’t be a good idea.

They parked with some difficulty. Cam hadn’t expected for the parking lot to be so full. Then again, he’d never been to a game before, so what would he know. Amy led them to the football field and found them a nice spot on the bleachers. Raleigh and Melissa spotted them and went to sit with them.

“Okay” Camden said. “I don’t wish to relive those thirty minutes of Math class, so you two sit by the waste of existence sitting next to Amy.” Ezekiel wondered if he could really take one more second of it, but Amy’s hand found his, and it made him feel calmer. Raleigh shrugged and sat where asked.

“It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Amy whispered to Ez, squeezing his hand. Her cheeks were a shade redder, and Ezekiel smiled. Something pleasant fluttered inside him.

“He would be worse without you around.” Amy stared at him for a second. He was so nice, so… reliable. She liked the way Ez made her feel safe.

“I’m not sure how should I react to him hitting on my little sister.” Raleigh murmured to Melissa.

“The same way you would’ve wished for my older brother to react, if I had one.” She said, running a hand through his golden hair.

“He hasn’t done anything to be upset about, I suppose.” Melissa smiled.

“How about you watch the game and I use you as my pillow?” Raleigh hugged her and kissed her crown.

“Sleep soundly, Lisa.” She rested her head against his chest, and Raleigh was so focused on her he didn’t need to pretend he was turning a blind eye on Ezekiel and Amy.

 

Meryl was saying something about how winning is important and how their strategy resembled some war tactic. Conrad wasn’t paying that much attention. His heart was racing, as usual before a game. This time it had nothing to do with the game though, but with the text he’d gotten from Amy that morning.

Got a surprise 4 u ;)

He’d been on pins and needles all day, wondering what she was talking about. The day was almost over though, and he suspected maybe he hadn’t been sharp enough to notice her surprise.

Meryl said something about how she didn’t give pep talks and how they shouldn’t expect her to be back to try to cheer them up if they lost. _Someone here is a bit competitive_ , he thought. It was okay, though. He’d played against the Hornets before, and they were sort of tough, but not impossible to defeat. He wasn’t that obsessed with winning, anyway. Not when it came to sports.

When Meryl was over, she left the locker room, and on her way to the field she encountered someone she was definitely not expecting. Levi’s features looked even more deadly with the shadows playing on his face. He was so beautiful it was cruel. She tried not to think about it. No matter how hard he tried, she’d already made her mind. She wouldn’t give into his games. He tried to ignore the way her leggings didn’t match her socks.

“Miss Boyan. Fancy meeting you in a deserted, dark hallway.” She arched an eyebrow, expecting something like that.

“You’re becoming more predictable by the hour, Waldorf.” She confessed. That hurt him, he didn’t want to be someone common to her. He wanted to stand out in every possible way so she couldn’t escape him. If she couldn’t elude him, he would have what he wanted and she would become boring. He would be free.

“While I love the way you try to push me away, it’s useless to pretend what I do doesn’t affect you in the least. I’m good at reading people, and I’m almost through reading you.” He took a step closer. “I know you’re fighting two people here, and two against one is not a battle you can win. You know it perfectly well.”

“I’m a tougher warrior than you think.” He studied her proud expression for a while. He eyed the aisle, to make sure no one was looking. He extended his hand, and touched her hair, solemnly, letting it run through his fingers. Meryl tried to keep a straight face, but she had to swallow down everything she was feeling, and the movement of her throat gave her away.

“I don’t doubt it.” He whispered. “I’m only saying you don’t have to win all your battles.” He leaned closer, only a centimetre or two shorter than she was. His last growth spurt would definitely make him taller than she was. He stopped at a close distance. It wasn’t worth it if she wasn’t the one who did it. If Meryl didn’t kiss him, he wouldn’t know if she actually meant to, and if she didn’t mean it, it wouldn’t set him free.

She held his gaze for a while, admiring his features, holding her breath. He was so beautiful, and the freckles on his face only made him more precious. _But it’s wrong_ , her mind reminded her. She almost saved the distance, but her hand went up and her fingers traced Levi’s lips. _God, he looks just like what the devil must look like: beautiful and tempting_.

“You know we can’t do this.” She said, before letting go, and turning away.

“It isn’t illegal,” Levi pointed out.

“But it’s not right either. So it’s just the same.” He could see for a moment the part of her that longed for him. The part of her that _ached_ for him. Sad gaze, for a second. Professional, distant mask the next. “You’ll find other girls, Levi. They’ll be right, and they’ll last you.” She said before leaving. _No, I won’t find them._ The way she’d said his name was sealed in his ears forever. _I bet it sounds much better in bed_. He could only let her go, for he was perplexed, white and blank and empty. _If only…_

 

“I hate all of this.” Camden said, not knowing what the hell was going on. “Has the game even started yet?”

“No, it hasn’t.” Amy clarified, then she turned to Ez. “It hasn’t right?” Ezekiel laughed.

“No, it hasn’t.”

“Okay, Ez, since you invited me here, I’d like you to keep us on track about two things: who is winning, and who is the current best player on field. Got it?” Ezekiel seemed confused.

“Why do you want to know who the best player is?” Amy gave him a look of ‘I have a plan, don’t question me.’

“I’m just curious.” But Camden had already picked up something was off. He’d been so concentrated on hating the idea of going to the game, hating the actual way to the game and hating the sitting on the bleachers, he hadn’t paid much attention to the stuff going around him. He couldn’t care less, but Amy was acting suspicious. And as soon as he began to understand the real purpose his presence there had, the teams started to go onto the field. He turned to Amy, freaked out. He knew what it was going to look like, he knew what was going to happen the moment he was spotted, and he couldn’t take the anxiety.

“What have you done, String?” He said, trying to take deep breaths so he wouldn’t lose calm. Amy looked oblivious.

“I brought you to do a memorable thing on your senior year. You can’t graduate if you haven’t been to at least _one_ game of the school’s football team.” Camden was going to reply, but decided the best way to remain calm was to burn in silent hatred. Not for Amy, no. But for her evil mind.

There was nothing he could do. The team was on the field. He tried to fight it, but the urge to prove his suspicions right or wrong was bigger. They were talking to each other, and for a second he thought he wasn’t even there, but then…

Conrad took a look at the bleachers to see if his dad had made it. Disappointment only lasted so long. He knew his dad’s work was important, and he couldn’t blame him. Now his granny was dead there was no one watching him. One person would be more than enough. He ran his eyes over the entire public, hoping for one friendly face. Maybe Felicity had been able to open a window in her tight schedule for him. Maybe that guy, Ezekiel was there by chance. Maybe he invited Amy. But the moment he saw him, he thought he was hallucinating. But it was way too impossible for it to be a hallucination, and Amy and Ezekiel sitting next to him only made it more real.

 _I have a surprise for you_ , he remembered.

Amy winked from her seat. He smiled, wider by the second, and waved. How did Camden Fairchild expect him not to have a crush on him when he did things like that one? Even if he’d been dragged to the game, he had no doubt about it, he was still _there_.

Camden didn’t know what to do. He knew Amy was watching him. He knew that Ezekiel guy was watching him. Yet Conrad seemed so unprecedentedly happy… he wanted to greet back. So he nodded. Then flushed, which was not visible from where Conrad was standing, then looked away. Conrad had changed his mind about the game. _I’m gonna win this thing_ , he thought.

 

“We’re winning” Ezekiel announced twenty minutes into the game. Cam tried to make it look as if he wasn’t watching, but as stupid as sports were to him, he couldn’t deny the attractive it gave to people who played them. Of course, when they didn’t suck at them. Conrad didn’t seem to suck, anyway. He wasn’t sure. But his surname and number were chanted a lot by the cheerleaders, and his teammates patted him in the back a lot, too.

“Number six is doing quite the great job.” Ezekiel said, confirming Camden’s suspicions. It seemed like they had the game in the bag when something strange happened. Conrad was running through the field with the ball, passed it, and then… got tackled? He didn’t know the precise term, but some dude from the other team pushed him down, and the public made ‘uh’ and ‘aw’ noises. The ones in the Eleanor Roosevelt’s bleachers were booing. He only knew it had looked painful. He was expecting Conrad to stand up and punch the other guy’s nose, but when some people walked in and got him on a stretcher, he felt a strange anxiety. It wasn’t until Amy spoke that he understood he was worried.

“Go.” Amy told him. “If you need to, go check he’s okay.” Camden wouldn’t say he ‘needed’ to go check on Conrad, but he stood up all the same and got away the faster he could without running. He couldn’t give himself away by running.

 

He caught up with her at the parking lot. She was sitting behind the steering wheel, looking straight ahead, taking deep breaths. He didn’t know how to interrupt, but he knew he had to, so he guessed how he did it was the least of his worries.

“Miss Boyan.” Levi called out. She turned to look at him.

“I told you to leave me alone, Waldorf.” She sighed. “Or at least I meant to. Anyway, go away. I don’t want you anywhere near me.” He couldn’t give up.

“You and I both know that’s not true.” She looked at him, tired.

“What do you want me to do so you can stop bothering me?” Levi thought about it for a moment.

“How about a ride home?” Meryl squinted, trying to find some sort of scheme behind the request, but she couldn’t, so she rolled her eyes.

“Get in the car. And if you don’t give me the right address, I’m gonna leave you wherever you take us, alone, and I’ll drive away.”

“Deal.” He stated.

He told her where he lived, then got in. She started the car, and they drove in silence. At least for ten minutes, then Levi couldn’t hold it in any more.

“So, after I graduate, would you consider it?” She shot him an angry look.

“Maybe.” She answered, in spite of herself. He grinned, satisfied for the time being.

“Your clothes don’t match.” He pointed out.

“I don’t mind.” She said, and Levi continued the subject.

“You should let me choose your clothes sometime. I assure you I’ll do you justice.” Meryl said nothing, her eyes on the road, thinking what would happen if she went on like that, if she never stopped. Levi, after some minutes without getting a reply, added: “Is there anything I could do to make you consider it now?” He enjoyed how she actually _thought_ about it. After a few seconds, however, her answer wasn’t satisfactory.

“No, I don’t see that happening, Levi.” And so, they drove in silence the rest of the way. Levi hadn’t given up, though. He would find a way to achieve freedom.

 

He didn’t really like the infirmary. Hospitals were okay, but the infirmary was run by a weird woman and felt like a suspicious place. But he’d never felt so uneasy about it before, which was weird. The smell of disinfectant made him fidget, he couldn’t help but wonder what other smells it was trying to cover. The infirmary smelt like a place where people don’t go when they are okay. Why would they be better when they walked out? He resented the thought. _Damn you, Conrad Payne. I am slowly turning into a cry baby because of you_.

He waited outside until he made sure everybody had left. He didn’t want to walk into a room full of the people he hated the most, a lot of them sweaty. They walked past him as if he weren’t even there, turning off the lights as they left. He hated being ignored, it was worse than being insulted, or pushed. But he had other concerns at the moment.

Camden walked in, with a slow pace, trying not to make himself too noticeable though, being the only one in there besides Conrad, it was obvious he was the only thing to pay attention to.

It was dark outside already, and the shadows guarded him for a moment or two. Only the moon and the distant lights of the football field scattered a few fractions of light here and there. It was obvious everybody had left Conrad there so they could see the end of the game. Conrad drew the curtains open when he heard footsteps. They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

“Hi” Conrad said, smiling wide. He was so obvious, so easy to read. Cam felt that made him a bit uncomfortable, having Conrad fancy him so openly. He felt like he wasn’t worthy, somehow.

“I can’t believe you were stupid enough to let that other guy injure you.” Conrad laughed, and Cam didn’t pretend when his face showed he didn’t like it that Conrad found it funny. “You hit the ground pretty hard, it is _not_ something to laugh about.” The scarce light played in Conrad’s favour then, when Camden didn’t see the happiness his concern bestowed him. That Camden Fairchild was _worried_ about him absolutely made his week.

“I’m fine, it isn’t so bad. They said I should wait here until the game was over, just as a precaution. I hit my head a bit, but there’re no concussions nor anything else that may be preoccupying.” Camden squinted.

“You better be.” Camden said. “I didn’t come here to watch you hit your head and turn into one of those dumb losers I hate so much.” He was obviously referring to the rest of the football team.

“Does that mean you don’t hate me?” Camden avoided his gaze for a second, then took a deep breath. He couldn’t be honest at all, how was he supposed speak what he meant to say?

“I think at some level I might even like you.” Conrad sat up, blinking repeatedly, trying to convince himself he’d heard right. His grin got wider and wider, and Camden couldn’t help but think how stupid and adorable he looked when he did that. Camden’s preoccupation was nothing compared to the mere idea of his admiration. He began to wonder for a moment if he hadn’t been knocked unconscious on the field and was now having a dream. But a slight pain on his head, there were there would probably be a bruise soon, was confirmation enough of his being awake.

“Does that mean you’ll give me a chance?” Camden sighed, exasperated by the way Conrad wanted him to say _everything_. Saying stuff was embarrassing, couldn’t they just, like, use telepathy or something?

“I don’t guarantee you anything, but, you can try, like, whatever you need to try and we’ll see what happens.” Conrad chuckled.

“So dishonest, saying everything half-heartedly like that. But that’s okay with me.” He got up, and grabbed Camden’s hand. “Come on, I want to see whether we lost the game or what.” It took Camden by surprise, he wasn’t one to hold hands. Conrad’s hands were big and warm and God, he was thinking like a fourteen-year-old girl. He looked bigger in the football uniform. Camden decided he didn’t really like it, because it made Conrad look a lot more tough and stupid than he actually was.

 

“Wait, so we won?” Amy asked Ezekiel, as she saw everybody chanting ‘Go, Badgers!’ and stuff. The cheerleaders were making a victory choreography or something, and everybody was leaving the bleachers to greet the players.

“Yeah, they scored a couple times after they got Payne out of the way, but it wasn’t enough.” Amy stood up.

“Well, that’s wonderful!” She saw Sarah amidst the cheerleading squad, so she excused herself and went to say hi. “Hi Sarah! What a nice game, wasn’t it?” Sarah nodded.

“Yes, it was great. Actually, Amy, they’re throwing a victory party at Henry’s after this. Wanna come?” Amy took a look at Ez, Raleigh and Melissa on the bleachers. “Oh, your friends can come too.” Amy smiled as a ‘thank you’ gesture.

“Then I’ll see you there.” Sarah nodded, and Amy went back to her friends. Melissa still slept, despite the noise.

“How was Cookie?” Raleigh asked. Amy frowned.

“Not you too.” Raleigh shrugged.

“I can’t remember her name, and Camden’s nickname for her happens to be very easy to remember.” Amy rolled her eyes.

“Sarah was fine. She wants us to go to a victory party at Henry’s.” Raleigh gestured at Melissa, fast asleep on his arms. Amy knew Melissa had some sort of medical condition, but sometimes it was just ridiculous.

“I should better take Lisa home. But I hope you guys have a great time.” He shook her gently, so they could go back to the car. “Lisa, darling, wake up. We gotta go.” Melissa woke up enough to walk and wave in goodbye to them. Raleigh took his phone to call Levi, but he had a text from him.

Got a ride home from Miss Boyan. TTYL.

He kind of expected something like that from Levi, but he couldn’t bring himself to think Meryl stupid enough to do anything with Levi. Anyway, he would figure it out in the morning.

“So,” Amy turned to Ez. “Wanna go to a party? I’m sure there’s going to be a lot of movie-like stuff.” Ezekiel intended to answer, but was interrupted.

“Victory party?” A voice behind them said. “Count us in.” Conrad was standing next to Cam. They were no longer holding hands, Camden took his back the moment they were under light bright enough for it to be noticeable. Regardless, he still felt as if Amy could tell just by looking at him. She giggled and he tensed, afraid he was unable to keep secrets from her at all. At least for a minute or two.

“I’m going too.” Ez said, and Amy clasped her hands over her chest.

“Great! I guess we will all be going together?” Conrad shook his head.

“I’m going to change. But you go ahead. I’ll catch up to you.” He walked away, leaving Camden to Amy’s mischievous look. His hand itched there were Conrad’s had been but a few moments ago. He looked Amy in the eye despite the dreaded possibility of her reading his mind.

“What did just happen?” She asked.

“If you want me to drive you to that party, you won’t ask a thing.” Amy laughed and, as Camden prepared for Amy asking for every detail later that night, the three of them made their way to the parking lot. Amy could tell Camden was happy, nonetheless, because he didn’t even glare at Ez for getting into his car.


	7. Chapter 7

“Okay, you’re home safe now.” Raleigh told Melissa as he took the keys Melissa’s mother had copied for him and opened the door. “Your mother trusts me more than she trusts you. There has to be some sort of Guinness Record I can apply to. I’m pretty sure this is quite unprecedented.” Melissa kissed his cheek.

“Wanna come in?” She offered.

“I don’t know, it _is_ a Friday night, but I don’t want to get home too late, that way I can bust Amy if she happens to get home very late, and have some leverage on her, you know…” He went silent because Melissa was looking at him as if he were helpless.

“You know, Camden Fairchild has gotten farther than you have and he is gay.” Raleigh seemed confused. But, then again, it wasn’t that he didn’t get it. He was just nervous. Melissa was all he’d ever dreamed of. He had spent the last three years sighing at everything she did. He sometimes expected her to vanish, to go back to being just his friend again… the thought killed him every time.

“I’m sorry, it’s only I’m—”

“’Too happy’, I know. Come in, we can have a cup of hot chocolate and then, maybe, you can stay the night.” Raleigh smiled.

“You know everything, don’t you?” He said, as he made his way in, behind her.

“I’ve been watching you, of course I know you. I hear your voice even when I’m asleep.” He turned to look at her, surprised.

“You do?” He had a hard time believing such a thing.

“Of course, silly. Why would you think everybody else has such a hard time at waking me up?” She drew two cups from the cupboard and settled them on the table. “You see, Raleigh, sometimes I think I fell for you in my dreams.” He grinned and stepped closer, grabbing her by the waist.

“You’re such a secret romantic. Here I was thinking I was the only one who would ever admit that kind of stuff.” Melissa laughed.

“I might be asleep half the time, but I thought you already knew.” Raleigh arched an eyebrow, confused. “That I love you, Raleigh. I love you.” He grabbed her hands and kissed her jawline.

“I love you too, Lisa. I have loved you in silence for so long.” She gave him a playful look.

“Then let’s be thankful I can provide you an opportunity to love me loudly.” He looked at her a bit lost, until it sank in. He blushed and laughed.

“If this is what you act like fully awake, I’m so relieved that everybody else only get to see you sleep.” She hugged him for a while, burying her face on his shoulder. He stroke her neck with his fingers, which he replaced with his lips a moment later.

 

They got off the car, and Amy had only one thing in mind: Ez. So she grabbed his hands and made him follow her like a puppy into Henry’s house. In the second Cam took to lock the car, they were gone. Henry was at the door, handing everyone who walked in a glass of booze. Amy took one and made sure Ezekiel took one as well.

“Have you ever drunk beer?” He asked, concerned.

“No,” she said, gleeful. “But what’s the matter? There’s a first time for everything.” She had already began talking loud, for the music was at maximum volume. Ezekiel wasn’t so sure Amy drinking was a good idea.

“You could get hurt.” He pointed out.

“Nope, because I have you here to protect me. It’s going to be okay.” She pulled him further into the party. “Come on, let’s dance!” Ezekiel fidgeted.

“I’m not a very good dancer.” Amy smiled.

“It’s going to be okay, nobody cares!” She lifted her glass. “If you lack courage, drink up!”

“You say that thing of ‘it’s going to be okay’ a lot.” She stood on her toes so she could talk to his ear, over the music and the noise.

“Because it is. It is going to be okay. Now, how about we dance?” She took a sip of her glass, and Ezekiel thought it wiser to be sober, if he was to keep Amy safe. He left his glass on some cabinet nearby and turned to Amy.

It was terrible, but he had to dance even though he wasn’t drunk. He merely tried to shift from feet to feet to the rhythm. But soon enough, incredibly, he was enjoying it. Maybe not the dancing itself, but being there with Amy, who was so nice, and greeted so many people and no matter how many people got close to talk to her, she always said she was busy and went back to him.

“I really like you, you know?” Amy shouted at some point. He wanted to believe her, but it could also be the beer talking. Any other way, it didn’t hurt to be honest.

“I really like you too.” Amy stared at him for a sec.

“Let’s go somewhere quieter!” He nodded, and he followed her outside.

 

Conrad parked a couple blocks from Henry’s house. He’d been there four or five times before. They were teammates, but Conrad didn’t like partying too much, because when his teammates got drunk, there was always someone threatening him the next morning.

He was about to enter the house when he noticed someone leaning against a car. It was Cam. He seemed pretty upset, so he walked up to him with his best smile.

“Hey there, Cam.” He looked up, had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn’t noticed Conrad. “I’m sorry it took me so long, were you waiting for me?” Camden smirked.

“You’re so full of yourself… no, I wasn’t waiting for you. I drove Amy and that dumbass here, and they ditched me the moment I parked the car. That’s why I’m out here.” Conrad shifted his weight from one foot to another, not really sure of what to say.

“She seems pretty fond of him. Probably only wanted a moment alone. Something like a date.” Camden rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know that. But she ditched me. She’s never ditched me for him before, or for anyone else, for that matter. I mean, she _did_ do it at the theatre last week, but she was pissed. Now she was very happy and _she ditched me_.” Conrad sighed. He wasn’t sure he could cheer him up, but he was still going to try.

“If it makes you feel any better, I would’ve done the same. I would’ve also wanted to be alone with the person I fancy.” Camden glared.

“How is that supposed to make me feel any better?” Conrad grinned.

“I would ditch _her_ and anyone else a thousand times for a minute with you.” Camden was about to say how tacky that was, but the moment he saw Conrad’s grey eyes staring at him with pure honesty, he didn’t mind. “I only came because I wanted to spend time with you. In fact, if this ever happens again, you can call me. I’ll leave everything behind to keep you company.”

“Let’s go inside. It’ll take me a while to digest those terribly cheesy words.” Conrad smirked and was ready to follow when he noticed Cam was waiting for him, his hand hanging awkwardly beside him. Camden didn’t know why, but all the stupid corny things Conrad said made him sort of happy. Conrad took his hand, absolutely elated. Cam averted his eyes from their hands, as if not looking at them would stop it from being real. Camden trusted the person at the door drunk enough not to notice it, though. They were offered drinks in the entrance, just as everybody else, but they both declined.

“Designated driver.” They said in unison. Camden shot Conrad an annoyed look.

“The last thing I need from you is to start saying the same things as me at the same time.” Conrad chuckled.

“Come on, it wasn’t so bad.” Camden’s expression said the contrary, so Conrad changed the topic. “Do you want to dance?” Camden made a thoughtful face.

“Let me consider it for a moment. A room full of strangers, with music I don’t like, with people I hate, and an activity I loathe. How about no?” Conrad elbowed him.

“You don’t need to be so mean; you know?”

“I am this way. I’m not gonna change so it can be easier for you to like me.” Conrad shook his head, sighing loudly.

“I like you the way you are, Cam. I’m just pointing this out because I think more people would see the nice things about you if you let them.” He meant it. He tried not to think much about it because he felt a bit of a stalker, but he’d been watching Camden for a long time. He knew about the little things he did every day for Amy, like waiting for her to finish her classes or giving her a piece of his desert at lunch. He’d heard him on the phone with his family twice or thrice, knew the tenderness his voice reached when there was a loved one at the other end of the line. Camden looked at him, serious, oblivious to Conrad’s thoughts.

“I don’t need other people.” Conrad shrugged. _As long as you need me_ , he thought.

“Okay, if you say so. How about the backyard? It’s mostly empty because there’s a pool and people don’t wanna drown because they were too drunk.” Camden nodded.

“That sounds more like it.”

They sat on some stools by the pool. Conrad kept drawing circles with his thumb on Camden’s palm, and if he hadn’t been upset about Amy he would’ve probably told him to quit it.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Conrad asked, looking at the water in the pool, then back at Camden. Camden couldn’t help but notice Conrad’s eyes were the exact same colour of the pool right then.

“Talk about what? I already told you I’d give you a chance.” Conrad shook his head. He cared so much about him, and he was desperate to find a way to make him realise so. If he hadn’t known better, Conrad would have even believed he was in love already.

“That’s not what I meant. You know, Camden, the purpose of this whole thing is not only for you to have someone to call if you’re feeling lonely and you want to make out.” He began. “Though if you feel like it, by all means, please do.” Camden rolled his eyes and Conrad laughed. “But also, I want you to rely on me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener, and I’ve listened to a lot of people because they decided I should. I’ve decided this time that I should listen to you, for a change.” Camden sighed.

“Are you going to be corny like this all the time?” Conrad made a hurt face, which disappeared immediately.

“I can only be this way, I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m not going to change so it can be easier for you to like me.” Camden actually laughed at that, and Conrad felt like he’d won something important. He felt proud, beaming with happiness. “The other option is me being blunt and I have the idea that would make you even more uncomfortable.”

“Try me.” Camden said. Conrad had to bite back a couple comebacks to that.

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, then looked Cam straight in the eye. “I think I can’t be the only one who’s thinking we should totally do it in the pool.” Camden was at a sudden loss for words for a second. He wasn’t going to have sex in a pool in public at some lame party. Camden noticed then that Conrad was just messing around with him, so he blinked and pulled his shit together.

“How about you go back at being tacky and we pretend the last two minutes never happened?” Conrad was very amused by Camden’s reaction.

“As you wish.”

 

Outside was breezy. Ezekiel offered Amy his hoodie and they sat down on the street. She stared at him for a while, and he did the same, biting back the need to put some loose hairs on her face behind her ear. When she did so herself, he regretted not doing it.

“So, you really like me” she said after some minutes. He looked at her, a bit embarrassed, a bit nervous.  She didn’t seem tipsy anymore.

“Yeah.” It was all he could say at the time. She licked her lips, nervous as well.

“Do you remember how we said we should go on a second date?” Ezekiel nodded. Amy sank into Ezekiel’s hoodie. It was warm and comfy. “What did you think we were going to do?” He thought about it for a moment.

“Don’t know. Talk, laugh, eat something, I guess.” Amy smiled.

“I really like you, too.” She said, Ezekiel looked up and held her gaze at that. “Ever since that time at my place, I’ve been wanting to go on another date with you. I wanted to have the chance to continue where we left off.” Ezekiel was so nervous he barely smiled, but he turned to face Amy completely.

“Would you… would you want to go out with me? I mean, I know I’m not the greatest guy you’ve ever met, and your friend Fairchild hates me, but I really, really do like you a lot.” Amy put a hand on his cheek. The streetlights made his dark eyes hypnotising.

“To me, Ez, you _are_ the greatest guy I’ve ever met.” She leaned forward, and just a second before their lips touched, they heard some people shouting and the ‘splash’ of water… had someone fallen into the pool? Ezekiel stood up immediately. _Right_ , Amy thought, _he’s on the swimming team_. She stood up as well, but before he could leave, she took his hand.

“Wait a second, Mr. Lifeguard.” He turned to look at her, confused. “I’m not going to let it happen again. You can go, but first I’m getting my kiss.” She said so, but someone, Sarah, ran up to them.

“Amy! It’s Camden and Conrad. They’re the ones who got pushed into the pool!” Amy looked at Ezekiel and he nodded.

“I’ll go get some towels!” She announced, as she made her way back into the house. Her kissing Ezekiel Goldscheier would have to wait, again.

 

He saw Camden in the water, and somehow, he panicked. Conrad didn’t know if Camden knew how to swim. What if he didn’t? He would drown! He didn’t put any more thought into it and simply threw himself into the pool. Stupid, drunk, teenagers. If they had just left them alone… but no. They had to go on and on about how Camden had never been to any of their parties before, and how they had to give him a proper ‘initiation’. He was beginning to understand why Camden loathed them so eagerly.

A thought occurred to him as his feet didn’t touch the bottom of the pool. _I don’t know how to swim_. He looked frenetically for Cam, while gasping desperately for air. Suddenly he saw him. He seemed pissed, but appeared to be okay and floating by himself. _Huh, so Camden does know how to swim, good to know_.

Camden caught his breath only to notice someone was in the water and, oh God, Conrad was drowning. _Jesus_ , he thought, _why do these things happen to me?_ He hurried and got next to Conrad the best he could. It took some time to get to the pool ladder, and by then everybody was staring at them like morons but, of course, not helping at all. Ezekiel appeared amidst the crowd, and helped get Conrad out of the pool.

Out of nowhere came Amy, carrying some towels. Ezekiel seemed concerned, but after Conrad coughed a bit, and they both seemed conscious and well, he calmed down. (People don’t actually cough water, because water doesn’t get into the lungs, that’s all just a big fat horrid lie). Amy took care of the crowd. Camden and Conrad walked out, hoping to get as far from the party as possible. They sat on the backseat of Conrad’s car, with the heating on. The heating of Camden’s car had been broken for a while then. They were drenched, and the towels did little to fix it.

“Did they throw you in as well?” Camden asked when he felt a bit warmer, somewhat surprised that Conrad had been pushed in as well. He couldn’t help remembering how the water had been so _cold_. If he had stayed there longer, his body temperature would have decreased dangerously. The bruises he’d left on their faces would last at least a week, though.

“No, I jumped.” Conrad confessed. He had tried his best for Camden not to get thrown into the pool. It just wasn’t in his nature to get into fights, though. Camden gave him an incredulous look, then shook his head.

“You _jumped_? But you don’t know how to swim! What were you _thinking_?” Conrad shrugged.

“I didn’t know whether you knew how to swim or not. I could only think how the single person I knew there that could save you was Ezekiel, and how you would rather drown than owe him your life. Time was ticking so I forgot about everything else and threw myself in.”

“What for? So we could drown together?” Conrad laughed.

“I suppose I thought it was better to die with you than watch you drown on your own, unable to do anything about it.” Camden stared at Conrad, feeling something warm and calming spreading inside his chest. God forbid, if that was what actually liking someone felt like, it wasn’t so bad.

Conrad didn’t see it coming. He was only thinking about his drenched Chuck Taylor’s and how he would explain the whole thing to his dad. He looked to his right to check on Camden, and his face was already so close he could easily count the freckles that peppered his elfish features, his turned up nose. Camden kissed him, and Conrad closed his eyes and simply kissed him back. It was nothing like the time they’d kissed in his room. It wasn’t Camden kissing him with his eyes half open, clenched fists, all tense and uncomfortable.

He flowed, and Conrad could almost see his eyes closed through his own shut eyelids. Camden’s hands found his shirt and held him, and Conrad lifted his hands so he could hold Cam’s face in place, because he was so incredibly happy, his heart felt like it would burst out of his chest any second. And if Camden got away after making him feel like that, it would be like starting a forest fire with the wind in the right direction. The burning and aching would never stop.

 

The never ending pumping in his head seemed unable to stop when his ringtone woke him up. _Damn_ , he thought, _I forgot to put it in night mode_. Conrad rolled around and picked his phone to look at the name on the screen: Lizzie. He had to pick up, so he groaned to the perspective of finally and definitely waking up. The night had been soft, comfortable and dreamless. And Camden Fairchild had kissed him in his car, and he could only hope it meant he had only so much to win from then on.

“Hi” he said, as sleepy as possible.

“Good morning, my dear!” He shut his eyes, Felicity’s voice always so energetic and loud. “Get up and be ready to meet me in thirty minutes. I’ll drop by your place and you better be dressed and showered by then, got it?” Conrad passed a hand over his face, resenting the moment he decided to make Felicity one of his priorities.

“Sure, I’ll be waiting.” She made a loud kiss on the speaker, then hung up. Thirty minutes, what a pain. He got up, took a shower and got to drink a cup of coffee before the doorbell rang. Thirty minutes sharp. Felicity was sort of scary sometimes.

“Hi, hi! Conrad, my love, it’s been so long!” She kissed him on the cheek, then walked in and went straight to his room. “Is your dad around? I haven’t seen Jim in ages, is he doing okay?” Conrad smiled and followed. Felicity was always so attentive and nice; he could now remember why he called her his best friend.

“No, my dad is at the lab, as usual. He seems to be eating more, but he still works as much as possible.” Felicity shook her head, in a disapproving manner. She sat on his bed and he took his desk chair. “But, how are you? We haven’t seen each other since summer.” She sighed.

“You’re right! Oh my, you wouldn’t believe the amount of things that have happened lately. Eppingswood has been bursting with news these past weeks. The new cheerleading coach sucks, and I’ve had to make the choreographies for the team all on my own. Kelly got an early acceptance into Yale! Can you believe that? Helen ditched yoga, and her karma has been terribly unbalanced since, I tell you. And Diana got knocked up. Poor girl, I told her dating Gerard wouldn’t do her any good, but she wouldn’t listen. She’s leaving high school, at least for the time being.” She made a sudden pause. “Oh my, I’ve been so rude. I came here to talk to you. How are things at Eleanor’s? I heard you won the game last night. Way to go, huh?” Conrad made sure she was over before he said anything.

“I’m happy for Kelly. I hope Helen gets some balance, I suppose? And it’s a shame the thing about Diana, she was actually quite nice the one time you introduced us.” He thought about his past weeks for a second. “Things at Eleanor’s have been cool. I might have some news, even.” Felicity’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

“You know just how much I love gossip. So, tell me!” Conrad laughed.

“Well, first, Raleigh and Melissa are dating.” Felicity rolled her eyes.

“Those are yesterday news! I thought you had something exclusive.” She pouted, and Conrad shook his head.

“If you must now, then, I made out with Camden Fairchild yesterday in the back of my car.” If Felicity had been drinking water and had been a little bit less classy, she would’ve spit it all.

“You did _what_?” Conrad smiled, a bit too happy.

“I kissed him. Camden Fairchild. In the back of my dad’s car.” Felicity’s mouth was slightly open and she seemed unable to close it.

“Camden Fairchild? As in Camden the guy you’ve been dreaming about since sophomore year? As in elfish, adorable bastard, Camden? As in Camden the guy you’ve had a crush since forever and haven’t been able to move on from? _That_ Camden?” He blushed when Felicity remembered him some of the embarrassing things he’d said about Camden over time, but he nodded nevertheless. “Oh my God. What about, what was his name, Cherry?” Conrad squinted.

“His name wasn’t Cherry. His name was Tom. And, as you should recall, things didn’t quite work out before summer, mainly because he liked to make fun of the stars on my ceiling, and I hate it when nice guys turn out to be jerks.” Felicity clicked her tongue.

“True. So, Camden Fairchild. Are you dating yet?” Conrad grimaced and sighed.

“I’m not sure. You see, he seems to really dislike the idea of dating me. Like, what it would do to his values or something like that. I’ve been trying not to push him. He agreed to let me try, but I’m not sure that means I can call him my boyfriend or anything.”

“That’s no good. It seems I’ll have to take the matter in my own hands.” She took her cell phone out and showed it to Conrad, a number being displayed on the screen.

“Time to make a call, darling.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I’m not going to open the door for you, Amy, so why don’t you go back to your place and spend time with Ezekiel, now that you two are so close.” Amy sighed loudly.

“I’m sorry Cam! I really am. But I’m not here because of that and you know it. I’m not the one who texted at three a.m.”

“I was ranting in my sleep, you can’t trust that.” Amy rolled her eyes.

“I brought you a six pack of Dr Pepper Cherry and some Skittles!” There was silence for a moment, then some footsteps, and the door finally flew open.

“Peace offerings” he said, extending his hand to take the bag Amy had in her possession.

“I can’t believe this still works after more than ten years.” She admitted.

“Did you come here to apologise or to tell me that?” He said, walking back to his bed, where he sat, opened a can of Dr Pepper Cherry and began drinking it.

“Neither. I mean, I _am_ sorry. But I am here because you sent me thirty-line text about the pros and cons of dating Conrad Payne and I’m not sure that only happened because you got pushed into Henry’s pool.” Camden held a hand up.

“Don’t even mention that moron.” Camden said, referring to Henry, and took another sip of his drink. “If you have to make me say it, yes, I kissed Conrad in the back of his car. And yes, I did think he jumping into the pool for me not knowing how to swim was stupid but adorable. Sue me.” Amy smiled.

“So, what do you plan to do? I mean, in last night’s list, there were more pros than cons.” Camden nodded.

“Yes, but I don’t want to encourage his suicidal behaviour more than I already have.”

“Why don’t you tell him just that? ‘I like you, but I don’t want you jumping into any more pools for me.’”

“I don’t have his number though.” Amy had her popular girl moment then. She took her phone out and browsed her contact list.

“Here you have. You’re welcome.”

 

Raleigh woke up early. He could barely tell anything about himself or his surroundings, it took him some time to make out the things around him. It was Melissa’s breath on his neck that reminded him where he was. Her breaths were short and soundless. He turned around to steal a glance, she looked so peaceful when she slept. He thought of her parents, who would be arriving soon.

Raleigh hated the idea of standing up and leaving her, but there was no other option. He turned around and took his phone. He took a picture of Melissa, fast asleep, then checked the time.

“I have a creepy boyfriend.” Melissa’s muffled voice said to his side. Raleigh hid his phone in the most honest-to-God reaction and stared at her as if he didn’t know what she was talking about.

“No, you don’t.” He said to save his integrity.

“Yeah, but I don’t care. I suppose I’m safe as long as I hold the information of how loud you are when you—”

“You wouldn’t.” He said, flushing bright red. Melissa laughed.

“Of course I won’t.” She paused, for a dramatic effect. “Unless I have to.” Raleigh pouted.

“Come on, you know I only want these photos to be a commemorative thing. Maybe put them in a photo album when we marry.”

“ _If_.” She pointed out.

“ _When_ ” he insisted. “Now, I’d love to stay here all morning debating about marriage and whatnot, but your parents will be back soon.”

“Aw, come on, stay.” Melissa asked. “You’ve stayed the night before, it won’t surprise my parents if you do now.” Raleigh rolled his eyes.

“Yes, but I’ve never stayed the night like _this_ before.” Melissa laughed.

“Okay, whatever. I guess you can use my window” Raleigh looked at her, as she turned around and went back to sleep. He dressed and kissed her goodbye before attempting to leave through the window. “Watch the roof, some tiles are loose.” She warned him, a second too late. A cracking sound broke the morning’s quietness as his body hit the ground, and Melissa’s sheets flew through her room as she jumped out of her bed and ran downstairs, worried as ever.

 

He typed ‘Cam <3’, then thought about Camden’s reaction to that and relentlessly changed it to ‘Cam’. He saved the contact under Felicity’s wary watch. He’d just pressed ‘Done’ when the screen showed him an incoming call and he saw the name he’d just typed display on the screen.

“What kind of witchcraft is this one, Lizzie?” He turned to look at her, alarmed. She giggled, then shrugged.

“I have no idea. Pick up! He won’t like it if you make him wait too long.” Conrad thought about it for a second.

“Technically, I didn’t give him my number either so—”

“For the love of God, Conrad, just pick the hell up.” He rolled his eyes, but did as instructed.

“Hello?” He said to the phone, his fingers tingling with anxiety. Felicity mouthed ‘Bye-bye’ and she left the room, before Conrad could stop her. Camden felt strangely happy to hear Conrad’s voice, and hoped it wasn’t an effect that would last forever because he definitely did not want to be one of those people who smile on the phone just by hearing the other person. Even Amy had to work it up a bit.

“Hi. Conrad, it’s Cam. I— Amy gave me your number. Anyway, I called because— oh my God, Amy leave me alone.” Amy kept making faces and mouthing things like ‘You love him’ and ‘Camden and Conrad, sitting on a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g!’ which only made him want to hang up and never call Conrad ever again. Conrad snickered, and Camden had that moment to remember what a nice laugh he had. “What are you wearing now?”

“That is a rather unexpected question, but if you really want to know…” he could hear Camden sigh on the line and he broke into a soft chuckle.

“That came out wrong. I meant to tell you to put on something light but bring a jacket because the weather forecast says it might rain today.” Conrad went silent for a second.

“Wait, do you mean we are—?”

“Yeah, we’re going out. Be at the shopping centre in an hour, and don’t be late.”

“I’ll be there thirty minutes early.”

“That’s pathetic.” But even as Camden said so, he only believed it half-heartedly. Conrad lost no time. He took a pair of sneakers, since his Chuck Taylor’s were still wet, and was off to meet Camden, grinning widely all the way.

Amy’s phone rang then, and Camden watched as she went pale and promised to be somewhere in no time.

“What is it?” He enquired as soon as she hung up. She seemed distressed, her breath out of sync.

“It’s Ray.” She never called him so in public, which wasn’t the best sign. “He fell off a roof.” Camden frowned, not knowing how on Earth that had happened.

“I’ll join you. Just let me call Conrad.” He resolved it would be the best, considering everything. He couldn’t just leave Amy alone.

“No,” she said. “You’ll go out with him and you’ll have a great time. I’ll call you as soon as I get any news.”

“I can’t have a good time if I leave you in such a moment as this one!” He could not understand what she was thinking of.

“Listen to me. You are going to go on a date with Conrad Payne because despite everything you say and do, you are _dying_ to figure out the whole deal between you two.” She sighed. “I want you to be happy, and being on a possible path to happiness is exactly where I need you right now.” Camden shook his head, he took out his phone and dialled Conrad before Amy could stop him.

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you. Are you on your way already?”

“Yeah, why?” Conrad dreaded Camden giving him a rain check on a cancelled date. He could hear Amy talking angrily at Cam but he couldn’t quite make out the words. Camden thought about what he was going to say, as he shushed Amy.

“Change of plans. We’re meeting at the hospital. Raleigh fell off a roof.” Conrad smiled in spite of the bad news, then felt slightly guilty about it.

“Sure, I’ll see you guys there.”

“Actually, could you pick us up? Amy and me, I mean? We’re at my place.” Camden’s voice sounded a bit off, as if he didn’t like asking him for favours. Conrad felt blissed, being asked for help was all he could hope for.

“Of course, I’ll be there in five.” Camden hung up, and Amy arched up an eyebrow, demanding some explanation, but couldn’t hold in a smile that ruined her serious face. She was about to ask when she suddenly remembered her brother and went all quiet again. She was dead worried about him, and couldn’t say a word.

 

Melissa was sitting in the waiting room, just as Raleigh’s mother came into the hospital. Francine was a beautiful woman who looked way younger than she was. She was often mistaken by Amy’s elder sister or Raleigh’s girlfriend or cousin, depending on the occasion. She was an otorhinolaryngologist, and worked very long shifts at the local hospital, looking forward to save enough money to send both her children to college and live without any worries. Only the soft, not-so-dark waning moons under her eyes told how tired she usually was. She had been attending a patient, when Melissa called her, and only a few minutes after Raleigh had been taken in, was she able to get herself free.

“How is he?” She asked Melissa immediately, forgetting to greet her, even.

“The people in the ambulance said he was going to be okay.” Melissa replied, with enviable calm. “He only broke his arm, but they’re waiting for you to authorise surgery. Apparently they have to put the bone back in position and stuff.” Francine nodded. It worried her, but it wasn’t strange for broken arms to require surgery, and a broken arm would mend. It wasn’t a deadly wound. She could at least take a breath, then. A doctor came out of a room, where they had been preparing Raleigh for the procedure. Francine left with him and Melissa was alone again.

She stared at the dropped ceiling, the spots on it creating wildcats or puppies here and there. She was very still. Since she was little it had been very evident that she lacked all those nervous tics kids and people usually have. She didn’t fidget, nor play with her fingers or her hair. She had listened to the paramedics in the ambulance murmur about how she didn’t seem to care at all, so quiet and so calm.

Melissa cared about Raleigh, in fact, she _loved_ him. She wasn’t used to having to express such things as worry or concern, her family had never told her to, her friends had learnt to understand her expressions. Plus, she knew Raleigh wasn’t going to die from a broken arm. People’s bones broke all the time, just as their hearts. And they survived, they healed and moved on.

Levi walked into the waiting room, with a distracted look and his hair still dripping wet from the shower he’d taken before heading over there. He obviously was trying to look cool about it, but Melissa could tell from the tense expression in his face, and his fluttering masseters, that he wasn’t diverted by the circumstances that had brought him there. It was most certainly strange: how much you could get to know people in a couple years just spending time in their company. Melissa and Levi had never talked much, and usually engaged conversation when a third party was involved. Yet she knew he wasn’t pleased by the recent turn of events. Curious.

“Melissa.” He recognised her existence by naming her, then took a seat in front of her, not without wondering if some fat disgusting peasant hadn’t been sitting there before him. He removed the thought from his head, for it was pointless. “So, what happened?” She knew him enough to know he dreaded to ask directly whether it had been a serious injury or not, so she took it upon herself to inform him.

“He only broke his arm. They’re taking him to surgery but he should be okay by the end of the day.” Levi nodded, relieved by the knowledge of his friend being free of life-threatening injuries.

“How did it happen?” He enquired next, hoping for some interesting story, and Melissa did not disappoint.

“He spent the night at my place, and in the morning he was fixed on leaving without my parents noticing, so I suggested the window. I tried to warn him about some loose tiles on the roof, but by the time I did, it was already too late.” Levi smirked, thinking of a funny possibility which he tried to discard or prove with Melissa, immediately.

“Didn’t you tell him your parents think you two have been sleeping together since sophomore year?” Melissa smiled.

“I thought he was going to find out sooner or later, so I saw no harm in letting him be ignorant a little longer.” He cracked up then, his laugh as glorious as ever, and it let Melissa remember why most girls found him an attractive and disarming young man. He did look like some sort of prince charming, she gave him that much, but she had never been deceived by his good looks. She knew from the first moment Levi was by no means an angel, and maybe that was one of the reasons Levi hadn’t strongly opposed to her hanging out with them.

“I sometimes forget why I ever chose to speak to you. But then come moments like these ones, and they sure as hell pay off.” Melissa bowed slightly, as if to accept the compliment. They remained silent, but their silence lasted ever so little, for Amy and her entourage entered the waiting room. Camden and Levi nodded to each other, the best way they had to greet each other without engaging conversation. They did not talk that much for, the few times they had, their strong convictions and bad tempers had led them to murderous verbal fights. Therefore, they avoided each other in order to remain civil.

Amy said hi to no one and asked Melissa where her brother was. Melissa was tired of telling his diagnose over and over, so she just pointed the room which Francine had walked into a few moments ago. Amy left in a hurry, forgetting to thank her.

Conrad had never interacted much with Levi, mostly because Levi had a disdainful, undermining look reserved for everyone who addressed him without his previous consent. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, until he realised Levi was ready to ignore him. He turned then, and realising Melissa was there as well, he greeted her warmly. Not knowing what to do, he offered to go get some coffee for them all, which made Levi put some attention in him long enough to give him his order. Staying to chat with Levi and Melissa was certainly not Camden’s favourite scenario for, even though Melissa was perfectly amiable and they could find something to talk about while they waited, he dared not make a scene in a hospital because of any action of Levi Waldorf’s. So, he got up before Conrad had made it too far, and caught up to him.

 

Amy entered the aforementioned room in a rush, worried sick for her brother. Her mother was sitting by Raleigh. The scene made Amy remember the time when they were little and Francine had enough time to read to them before they went to bed. It wasn't long after that when Raleigh was the one reading to her instead.

“Are you okay?” She looked at him with earnest concern. His brother nodded, already in a gown for surgery. His arm was crooked in weird angle, in spite of the sling that attempted to keep it immobilised.

“What did Melissa even say that you and mum came in such a rush believing me almost dead?” Francine smiled, Amy glared at her brother. She didn’t believe her concern to be in the wrong place.

“She said you fell off the roof, and they were taking you to the hospital.” Raleigh’s eyes went wide and he laughed, though his laughter died quickly, due to a shot of pain from his arm. He winced but kept smiling after, all the same.

“The way she’s as oblivious as to keep out the important details has to be some sort of talent.” Francine stood up and kissed her son’s forehead.

“We should go, but I’m happy you’re fine. Next time you choose to have sex at your girlfriend’s, though, I expect you to leave through the door and no other alternative ways out.” Raleigh blushed intensely, and Amy giggled.

“ _Mum!_ We’re so _not_ supposed to talk about this stuff!” She put an arm around her daughter’s shoulders and carried her out into the waiting room. Francine greeted then everyone there, but could not stay because she was supposed to be working, and so she left, telling Amy to call on her when Raleigh came out of surgery.

 

“Amy’s gotta be a skinny decaf latte with two bumps of sugar-free caramel syrup and light cream.” Camden said when they made it to the cafeteria at the top floor. Coffee machines at hospitals usually sucked, and they knew everybody could use a quality hot beverages. Conrad looked at him fondly curious, delighted by the thought of Camden being such a good friend.

“Is she on a diet?” was all he could ask from that sentence. He knew any remarks on him being such a caring friend would gain him a sharp reply.

“No, but when she’s nervous it does her better not to consume any sugar or caffeine. I would normally get her an ice tea, but she needs a warm beverage right now.” Conrad smiled and stared at Cam for a couple seconds. They were still on the queue, listing the orders so as not to forget. Camden noticed this and averted his eyes.

“Why are you staring at me?” Conrad thought of a million answers, some witty, some sweet.

“It was a macchiato with cream, wasn’t it?” Camden blinked for a moment, trying to understand what Conrad was referring to. When he realised it was what he’d ordered that Saturday night after Amy’s concert, he blushed.

“You know, it’s a bit creepy that you are so observant and remember stuff like that.” Conrad, nevertheless, was glad, for he’d gotten it right. So he couldn’t feel offended at all by the comment, though he could tell thus far that Camden hadn’t _intended_ to offend him, which was a first.

“I bet you remember mine.” Camden looked at him with an alarmed expression.

“I will not fall into your game of cheesiness.” Their turn came and their attention was turned towards the barista. “Now, we had one skinny latte with light cream and two bumps of sugar-free caramel syrup for Amy, one tea with milk for Melissa…” Camden turned to Conrad for the other ones.

“Uhm, one green tea for Levi and a macchiato with cream for you.” The barista smiled.

“Yes, of course.” She turned to Camden and asked for his name and wrote it on a cup. “Anything else?” Conrad was about to nod when Camden interrupted him.

“You’re forgetting your espresso.” The barista nodded. “And I want a blueberry muffin as well, please.” She took Conrad’s name and after they paid, she asked them to wait a second. Camden noticed Conrad looking at him again as they waited, and he glared instantly.

“What now?” Conrad’s sly expression gave him to understand the reason to his happy face.

“You _do_ know my order.” He seemed pretty happy with himself, and Cam’s look of agony did not stop him from gloating.

“ _Come on_ , it is such a simple order, _anyone_ could remember it, give me a break.” Conrad’s victory moment was only interrupted by another barista calling their names. Conrad asked for a coffee holder, because there were obviously too many coffee paper cups for four hands. When he took up his own little paper cup, he noticed something written under his name, and before he could turn it around to hide it, Camden noticed.

“What’s that?” He asked, taking a sip of his coffee, enjoying the way the caffeine slowly woke him up as it went down his throat.

“Well… it seems the barista from before gave me her number.” He gave him an incredulous look, and Conrad blushed. It happened to him every now and then, and he never made a big deal out of it, but now it was a bit awkward that Camden got to see it happening. He stared down, a bit embarrassed, and as he did so he didn’t get to see Camden glaring at the barista from the distance.

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Camden told him, and since Conrad didn’t expect that comment, looked up, curious. “Because you’re busy trying to get _me_ aren’t you?” He was looking away and was blushing as he said so, but that didn’t stop Conrad from lighting up and impulsively kissing Cam on the cheek.

“That I am.” Camden glared but he felt as if he wasn’t putting all his heart on it. Evidence to that was that he didn’t try and brush his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

After six never-ending tortuous hours, with everybody sitting in silence, except for Amy talking to Camden every now and then, Raleigh was good to go home. Normally the hospital wouldn’t discharge anyone so soon, but given that his mother was a doctor, and his medical indications were to lay down and rest, they’d made an exception. Conrad kept stealing glances at Cam, trying to make silent conversation. Even though Camden wasn’t very inviting, he’d managed a few angry looks and a loud sigh, which was good enough for him.

When they were ready to go, they decided who was to go home with whom. Francine’s car was only so big. Camden said he’d go home with Conrad. Going back home all squeezed in a car wasn’t something that tempted him very much.

Melissa helped Francine get Raleigh into the car, and before Amy could get in, she turned to Levi. He was standing outside the car, probably to see Raleigh safely seated in it before leaving.

“Want us to give you a ride?” Levi shook his head and looked at his nails before talking to her.

“My dad lent me his car. I only followed to ask if, per chance, you have Miss Boyan’s phone number.” Amy knew which kind of intentions were hidden behind his request but said nothing, for she did not think it such a bad thing as the rest did. As long as Miss Boyan was distant, not even, as long as they both knew what they were doing, she wasn’t going to interfere.

“I’ll text it to you. I guess you already know, but I’m no supposed to have it, so not a word to anyone.” Levi smirked, diverted by the thought. When would he bother to gossip about how Amy had some teachers’ cell phone numbers? The mere idea was ridiculous.

Doors slammed close, and engines purred as they started. In less than a minute, Levi was standing alone in the parking lot. His phone beeped in response to a new text, and the screen’s light illuminated his smile, the sky already giving into oranges and purples.

He got in his car and called.

“Who is this?” Meryl Boyan had been making some mac and cheese, when her cell phone began ringing.

“Meryl.” He gasped into the phone, the thrill of the power her _phone number_ could bestow him a delirious pleasure. He needed her to give in, a taste of her would set him free. Meryl identified the voice without any trouble, which didn’t mean that it didn’t trouble her that Levi could now call her.

“It’s Miss Boyan, Waldorf. Now, I’ll hang up, and if you ever call me again, I’m changing my number.” He panicked.

“Wait!” He paused, fearing the dead tone of an ended call, but Meryl’s breath was still audible on the line. “Wait. Just let me make my case. My father is away tonight, and I was thinking we could do something like rent _Cinema Paradiso_ and have dinner together.”

“Levi—” she sounded upset, and he clicked his tongue.

“I won’t attempt anything, I swear. Just a friendly reunion between a teacher and his student.” Meryl thought about it, and the doubtful ‘mmm’ she emitted, made him almost feel he could see her making a face.

“I don’t know, Levi.” He was so obsessed with the way she said his name, he was half fearing what could happen if things didn’t go the way he wanted. “It isn’t proper, even if it is, indeed, an innocent reunion, as you suggest.” He turned left, as his GPS announced he was a block from his final destination.

“What if I’m already outside?” He got out of the car, as he saw things move inside. The door flew open, revealing Meryl in a tank top and sweatpants, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail.

“This is harassment!” She announced from the door frame.

“I also brought _The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas_ ” he offered. Meryl sighed loudly, as she shook her head like knowing she would regret her decision.

“Come in.” The door shut behind Levi, without anyone but them knowing about it.

 

They parked in front of Camden’s house. Conrad grinned the entire way there, even though they didn’t talk much. He was simply happy. He didn’t know exactly how, but Camden made him happy just with little, tiny things.

“We’re here.” Conrad said, a bit sad since their time together was over.

“I suppose you would have had a better time hadn’t I cancelled and asked you to drive us to the hospital instead.” Camden wasn’t used to apologising, or saying thanks by that matter, and that was the best way he could express his regret on how things turned out. Conrad laughed.

“Are you kidding me? You made my week. All I’ve ever wanted from you is to trust me, to be able to ask for my help and be like, useful to you.” Camden looked away, a bit embarrassed, but that didn’t stop him from making the offer he’d been considering for the last few minutes.

“Do you wanna come in?” Conrad turned to look at Camden, incredulous.

“Come in?” He echoed, as if he couldn’t quite grasp the idea of Camden asking him to spend a little more time with him.

“Yeah, I think Tate is making ravioli. He always makes too much anyway, so I guess we could use a guest in order to avoid useless leftovers.”

“Is this your way to introduce me to your family?” Conrad arched up an eyebrow, and Camden looked at him, defiantly.

“Why? You scared?” Conrad grinned and pulled the keys off the contact. In two seconds he was out of the car.

“On the contrary, I’m thrilled.”

Conrad was surprised by a home that looked just as its exterior suggested it would. There was a beautiful wooden floor, and all the furniture and decoration had been chosen exquisitely. Warm colours fused with cold colours in the right moments, and it was like walking through a relaxing rainbow of warmth. He was received by the same pair of dark, big eyes he’d seen playing with LEGO on the front yard, not too long ago. Briony was wearing her hair in two braids, and although she was no longer a little kid, her childish features still clung to her face with desperation.

“Hi there” she said, her clever eyes studying him with caution. “I saw you the other day, didn’t I?” Conrad was impressed by her visual memory, and smiled with admiration.

“Hi, Briony. I’m Conrad, your brother has told me quite a lot about you.” To this introduction, she turned to Cam, with an enquiring expression.

“He’s joining us for dinner, as a payback for driving me to see Raleigh to the hospital.” Camden answered quickly, leaving out all the important details, which did not escape Briony’s notice. She decided to make a case about it later.

“Okay then. Cam, dad is in the kitchen and Jon is in his study. Conrad, I guess you won’t mind me showing you around while dinner’s ready, will you?” This was a message directed more towards her brother rather than Conrad, and Camden took it immediately, excusing himself to go to the kitchen. He knew it was _almost_ harmless to leave Conrad to Briony.

“Not at all,” said Conrad. “I believe you know all the entertaining secrets.” Briony smiled.

“Of course.” The mischievous look she gave him then was not unlike Camden’s, and the resemblance between them, even though they didn’t share blood, made him let go of a hidden smile.


	9. Chapter 9

“Whenever people don’t take this movie seriously, I feel like breaking their noses. Then again, their blood on my hands would be a most disgusting thing, and the smell wouldn’t fade easily, which is why I stare with hatred burning in my soul instead.” Meryl laughed and he stared covertly, secretly hoping for a future in which her laugh could hit his bare skin and bones. 

“I used to hit people without any contemplations.” She took a bite from her almost empty Chinese take-out container. The macaroni was in no edible condition when she finally checked on it. Her eyes were lost somewhere, as if she was recollecting something far in the past. They were sitting on the same couch, each one in a corner, as far as possible from each other. As if one metre could keep their imaginations from creating different inappropriate scenarios. 

“I hate to point this out now, but this house is a bit too big for you alone. Does anyone else live here?” He tried to make it look like he didn’t really care for the answer, but the truth was the doubt was killing him. Meryl already having someone else had never occurred to him. Maybe a mistake made by his pride. She sighed, leaving the carton box on the coffee table. The mess around the house was discrete but noticeable. It was driving Levi insane, and he was using the best of his willpower not to say anything about it. 

“It was my mother’s. We used to live here together, until she decided I was keeping her from getting any further on her career and she left without me.” She saw the questioning look in Levi’s eyes, and answered immediately. “She made sure my dad came every now and then so foster care wouldn’t take me away.” 

“My mother left too, you know.” She then looked at him, and he felt she was _really_ looking at him, as an equal, as someone other than just another student and… God, he could’ve spent the rest of his life with her looking at him like that because he felt so _alive_. “My father was devastated, never was the same. I can’t remember her face, what she looked like. In the only painting my father has of her, her face is shaded by her hat, so it’s useless.” 

“You don’t see her?” Levi rolled his eyes. 

“Do _you_?” Meryl thought about it for a moment. 

“Well, not in any conventional way.” She stood up and picked up a stack of magazines off the TV shelf, and handed them to Levi. He only needed to go through the first one to understand. There was the same woman in all of them. A skinnier, less bulky version of Meryl wore designer’s clothes or fancy underwear in all of them. It wasn’t that Meryl was fat, it was that the woman was _model-skinny_. He decided Meryl looked much better. 

The name on every picture was the same: Irina Boyan. She seemed ageless, like an ethereal goddess. He could tell where Meryl’s looks had come from. But Irina didn’t seem real, he could tell here and there where she’d gotten surgeries, and where Photoshop was needed. When Meryl laughed, she didn’t mind the crinkles by her eyes. She didn’t check for her hair to fall in a cascade of perfect curls. Meryl’s beauty was _real_. And he knew what he was talking about, he’d been taking pictures of beautiful women since forever. 

“You are much more beautiful than she is.” He knew she hadn’t asked. He didn’t care, Levi Waldorf was way too impulsive and conceited to refrain himself from saying things he wanted to say. Meryl’s eyes glittered, full of something he’d never seen in her before. Vulnerability, maybe? She knew she was pretty. Her turned-up nose and freckles had won her a fair share of admirers. But when Levi said so, it felt _true_. 

She stared, and Levi couldn’t help it anymore. He pulled her arm, gracefully, and brought her close enough for their lips to touch. Meryl seemed to debate herself about it for a second, the kiss abruptly interrupted by her, pulling her face away. They stared at each other. He traced her shoulder with studied gesture, barely grazing her skin with his fingertips. She grabbed his arm, her fingers crushing his muscles, but it didn’t matter. Her lips found his and her mouth tasted like glory. He had been wrong. There was no escaping her. There was no freedom. 

 

“And this one is my bedroom.” Briony announced. They had already swept through the library, the living room and the backyard. Briony had taken him upstairs then, and she had carefully chosen the first stop. 

The room was of a soft purple, not too girly, and he was surprised by the amount of books in Briony’s room. They all looked like fantasy and fairy tales, but when he opened one, he was taken aback by their content. Briony caught Conrad checking her books a moment too late. 

“Don’t—” but it was hopeless, he had already read. “Read that.” Conrad turned to her, stared back and forth from her book to her, her pictures with her friends on the walls, some stuffed animals of hers on a shelf. 

“Briony, this is brilliant.” Her eyes went wide, Conrad’s reaction clearly not what she’d expected. “Did you really write all of this?” She nodded, suddenly embarrassed. No one but her science teacher had read her hypothesis books. “Biology isn’t my forte, but these are all very clever, Briony, very clever.” 

“You’re into Science?” She said, taking a seat on her bed, while Conrad paced the room before sitting on her desk chair. 

“Yeah. I want to be an astronomer. But that also means I’m more into Physics, so I know the basics of Biology to be able to understand certain theorems and laws but, Jesus, you seem to know even more than I do.” Briony smiled. “Are you considering to become a scientist, Briony?” She seemed uneasy with the question. 

“I’m not sure. I mean, is it like a real thing? Can you make a living out of it? Because I’m not really into becoming a doctor. I want to work in a lab, with microscopes and all those things.” Conrad grinned. Briony was most certainly adorable. He put her book down and looked her in the eye. 

“Of course it is a real thing. What do you think people like Marie Curie or Barbara McClintock worked on? Even more, I can give you an example closer to home. Both my parents are scientists. They specialise in Chemistry, but that doesn’t mean Biology isn’t an option. They do research and get paid by universities and private corporations for doing so. My father even gets to give some lectures at universities from time to time.” Briony listened in silence, clearly interested in what Conrad had to say. 

“I had no idea. That sounds like, everything I could ever wish for.” Conrad laughed. 

“Haven’t your parents told you any of this before?” She looked down. 

“I haven’t told them. I mean, dad owns an art gallery and Jon is an artist himself. Cam wants to argue with people for a living but he is also into art, and I just wasn’t sure how the news of me being into something drastically different was going to be received.” Conrad gave it some thought. 

“I’m sure your parents will support you no matter what. And Cam really _does_ love you, he will brag about you no matter what you choose to do in life.” Briony looked at him with sincere gratitude, and smiled. 

“Thank you.” The way he’d mentioned her brother’s name hadn’t escaped her notice, and the sincere affection in it made her think herself very fond of him. She didn’t say anything, but she thought Conrad a very good change in her brother’s taste. Camden hadn’t brought many guys home, even less had been introduced to her; but she knew enough to be sure Conrad was very unlike the rest. Caring about her brother had won him like a million points in an instant. 

Conrad had just placed the book back in its place when  Jon stepped under the door frame. He had clearly not been informed of Conrad’s presence in his house yet, because he stared at him with curiosity. Conrad, on the other hand, couldn’ t help feeling a bit nervous. Camden shared a fair number of features with his father, except the freckles, maybe. Maybe it was just that Jon was tanner. 

“Hi Mr. Fairchild.” He said, hiding his nerves gracefully. “I’m Conrad. Uh— you have a very clever daughter.” His control had lasted only for so long. Confused, Jon turned to Briony, who chuckled covertly. 

“Cam invited him for dinner, dad. I was simply showing him around while it was ready.” Jon nodded. 

“Well, dinner is ready now. Would you care to join us downstairs, Conrad?” He nodded and murmured an embarrassed ‘yessir’. 

 

“I think you should go.” They had been acting like nothing had happened for a couple minutes then, after they’d kissed. Meryl because she’d broken her promise to herself, Levi because he was sorting out his feelings. He’d been convinced even kissing her would be enough for him to understand Meryl was just a caprice of his. But he’d kissed her, and she’d kissed him back, and he only felt more attached to her. He nodded; maybe he _should_ leave, after all. Meryl was incapable of looking him in the eye. “Don’t ever come back.” Levi didn’t reply, he walked out the door and walked away hoping for a cab. 

His arm glowed there were Meryl’s fingers had bruised him. His bones ached for her. He wanted all the bruises he could get. Meryl threw away the leftovers and poured herself a shot of gin. She wanted Levi Waldorf, and knew not how to stop herself anymore. 

 

“So, Conrad, I hear you go to the same high school as Cam. Do you participate in any extracurriculars?” Tate tried to ask something that wouldn’t make Conrad uncomfortable. They had a rectangular table that was obviously too big for three, which meant they had guests often. Probably Tate and Jon’s doing. 

“Yeah, I’m in the football team.” There was a silence interrupted only by the sound of forks against plates. “And I help with Physics tutoring on Wednesdays afternoons.” Camden looked at him, arching an eyebrow, he hadn’t known about that. 

“So… you do sports, and you’re smart.” Jon summed up. Conrad nodded, eyeing Cam. Jon sounded quite like his son had the first time they’d talked. 

“When you put it like that, it sounds as if you are giving me more credit than I deserve, sir.” Jon laughed, turning towards Camden. 

“Where did you find him?” It seemed nearly impossible that a guy like Conrad would exist. 

“He’s in my class, dad.” Camden tried to play it cool, but it didn’t work the way he wanted. 

“And how come you’ve never mentioned him before?” Jon asked. It was clear that Tatum didn’t think it proper to attack Camden like that, but he wasn’t about to stop his husband either. 

“That is because we never talked that much, sir. But we met on Amy’s last concert and we’ve been talking more since.” Conrad intervened. He didn’t know just how much Camden was willing to share. Everyone seemed contempt with the explanation and dinner went on without many highlights. 

After dinner, Briony went back to her room, and Tatum helped Jon with the dishes. Camden disappeared upstairs, and Conrad took that as his queue to follow. Camden’s room was neat and quite interesting. He had a desk with tons of art supplies on it, from oil paints to pastels. Several colour pencils, colour markers. He finally understood what Briony meant by Camden being into art. There were books on famous paintings, history of art, theories of colour and all of that. He also had a stack of DVDs, but those were movies and some documentaries. 

 It looked as if a unicorn had thrown up in there, though. The pillowcases all had different colours, and the art supplies all over gave different shades of every possible colour to the room. 

“I suppose it’s safe to say I survived to the first family dinner?” Conrad said, going through some magazines on contemporary art, and some law magazines. He remembered then what Briony had said earlier, about her brother planning to argue for a living. _So that’s what she meant_. He grinned, Camden would look very nice in a suit. 

“Don’t think this will make it any easier in the future.” Conrad turned to stare at him. He was lying on his bed, eating Skittles. “What?” 

“Are there going to be more dinners?” Camden rolled his eyes. 

“Why are you always like that, making such a big deal out of everything?” 

“Because I like you, and when it comes to you, everything _is_ a big deal.” Camden sighed, but Conrad didn’t mind. He went back to his previous trail of thought. “You wanna be a lawyer?” He asked and Camden, who’d been staring at the ceiling, sat up and looked at Conrad. He noticed the magazines he was browsing. 

“Ah, that. I’ve been thinking about it.” Conrad didn’t accept that answer. 

“It seems as though you’ve been doing way more than that.” Camden stood up and took the magazines from him. 

“Okay, whatever. You got me. Yes, I want to study law in an Ivy League university and all that stuff. I’m at _your_ level of nerd when it comes to be the best speaker in a room and manipulate words in order to win.” Conrad hesitated for a second, then reached out for his hand. 

“Hey, don’t be like that. I think it’s great. In fact, I can’t wait to see you suited up.” Camden smiled, almost imperceptibly. That was enough for Conrad, if he could take his flirting like that, he was paid off. He took out his phone to take a picture of Cam and his covert smile, but when he saw what time it was, he sighed. “I’d love to stay, but I have a self-imposed curfew.” He left the phone on the desk while admiring the different kinds of brushes. Most of them looked new, which suggested Cam was more an art admirer than an artist himself. 

“How come?” 

“My dad forgets to eat properly very often. I have to be home early on weekends, to make sure he’s okay. On weekdays, his assistant helps me, but today’s not the case.” Camden nodded. 

“I’ll walk you out.” 

They were downstairs when Conrad remembered he’d left his phone upstairs, he’d been so busy trying to open the oil paints without Camden noticing, he’d totally forgotten it. Camden offered to go get it, which was fairly odd, but maybe he just didn’t want him alone in his room. _Which is wise, because I’d probably try and steal his diary or something_ , Conrad thought. He was waiting by the living room, when Jon saw him and approached him immediately. 

“So, Conrad, let me get this straight. You are good at sports, you’re smart, you’re nice _and_ you like my son?” Conrad nodded. He wasn’t one for denying how he felt about Camden just because it was his dad the one asking. “Amazing.” Jon could barely believe that was real life. But he was happy for his son, and for himself. He would win all the ‘son-in-law’ competitions ever. Camden had taken longer than expected, because he had to take quite the deep breath when he realised Conrad had taken the time to grab a marker and circle the look on the law magazine he thought would suit him best. He stepped in right when his father made one more question. “Are you two dating yet?” 

“Not really.” Said Conrad, clearly in hopes that he could make an affirmative reply. 

“Yes.” Said Camden, at the same time as Conrad did and so, Jon took the hint to leave them alone. 

“I think I told Briony I would help her out with something, so I should better go do that now.” He said, before disappearing upstairs. Conrad waited for an explanation. He made it to the door without any and so, he was forced to ask for one. 

“We are dating?” He said, on the front porch. Camden closed the door behind him to keep anyone inside from spying on them. 

“I thought I made that clear when I told you to try anything you needed to.” Conrad squinted. 

“Yeah, you know what Cam? I am quite clueless sometimes but I’m pretty sure that was not what you meant yesterday. What changed your mind?” Camden shrugged. He didn’t know himself, how was he supposed to explain it? It was something between Conrad stupidly jumping into a pool for him and staying a whole day in a hospital and skipping lunch just to keep him company. Because, no matter how much of a good person Conrad was, he knew he hadn’t stayed all those six and a half hours only for Raleigh’s sake. 

“What can I say? You’ve made a pretty solid case.” Conrad grabbed him by the shoulders, trying to prevent him from looking away. The corners of his mouth tingled with the beginning of a smile, but he didn’t want to be happy until he was absolutely sure. His heart would break if he thought of heaven and was still stuck on earth. 

“So I’m your boyfriend.” Camden nodded, trying to avoid his gaze. _Why_ did he have to do that every time? “And you’re my boyfriend.” Camden blushed, and stared elsewhere, but his reply was the same. 

“Yeah.” Conrad hugged him then, and only when the hug had lasted more than a minute, Camden pulled away, a bit unfamiliar with Conrad’s ways. He hadn’t received that many hugs lately, except from Amy and Briony. “What’s going on?” He asked, confused. Conrad passed a hand through his own hair, and chuckled. 

“I’m happy, silly. You make me happy.” If Camden hadn’t been happy himself, though unwilling to admit it, he wouldn’t have understood. He had never wanted to make someone happy like that. No one had ever been that happy just to be dating him. He reached out a hand and placed it on Conrad’s nape and pulled him into a kiss. If Conrad hadn’t had to go, he would’ve never left. 

“Sweet dreams!” He told him before unwillingly getting into his car and driving back home. 

 

She picked up the phone after it rang for the third time. She was so exhausted she had collapsed on her bed and tried to ignore the world around her. They had dropped off Melissa at her house, and Edgar wasn’t pleased by the news of Raleigh falling off some roof and breaking his arm. He had called him careless and impulsive, though Amy was sure he thought her brother worse things. 

“Hi.” Ezekiel’s voice sounded worried through her phone’s speaker. She sat up and cleared her throat before talking. 

“Hi.” She was dead tired, but she would never deny Ezekiel her time. “aHow are you?” 

“I’m fine, Isaiah and Uriah were making lame jokes all afternoon, and my mum couldn’t quit laughing for an hour. But that isn’t a pressing matter. I heard about Raleigh, how is he? How are _you_?” 

“Raleigh’s fine. He’ll have to wear a cast for a month or two. And I’m tired, but I’m okay.” Silence followed, and Amy thought it safe to speak her mind. “I wish I had seen you today, though. Or that you were here now.” 

“I think I can fix that.” Amy jumped out of her bed and looked for a jacket. “Is it too much to ask you to come downstairs?” She grinned. 

“Of course not.” She hung up and hurried out of her room. “Mum, I’m going downstairs for a sec, I’ll be right back!” 

“Don’t take too long!” Francine replied, and Amy was out in no time. If Edgar had any complaints about her going out when it was dark, Francine had stopped him from making them known. SHhe waited impatiently as the elevator went down, and went it finally opened, she run out of the building, and caught Ezekiel’s eye as she ran out of breath. She was no longer wearing makeup, and her hair was a mess. But her golden eyes shone under the street lights, and her cheeks were flushed from the exercise. Ezekiel had never witnessed anything more beautiful in his life. 

“You didn’t have to run—” he said, but Amy shushed him. 

“Yes, I did.” She took his hand, tenderly, her fingers thin and tiny between Ezekiel’s. “Are you going to tell me you aren’t here for the same reason I ran all the way down here?” 

“I’d like to say it is for the same reason, but I’m not sure we’re on the same page here.” Amy giggled. 

“Let me put this in a simpler way. Are you going to kiss me or not? …I’m waiting.” Ezekiel blushed at Amy’s bluntness, but gripped her hand tighter and nervously caught her lips with his. The kiss didn’t turn out all that great, Ezekiel being a handful of nerves and all. 

“That wasn’t a good kiss.” He admitted, and looked embarrassed. 

“The good thing is that now we get to repeat it until it comes out great.” She grabbed the neckline of his shirt in one hand and kissed him, pushing him out of the reach of the street lights, melting themselves into the shadows. He held onto her as if she were his sun. 

 

Monday morning, the school’s bell rang and everyone walked in on a different mood. First there was Melissa, who no longer had Raleigh to drag her around, and as a result, had fallen asleep and didn’t bother to go to school at all. Since Raleigh couldn’t drive anyone to school, they had to take alternative transportation. Amy went to school with Cam, and Levi left on his dad’s car. 

Amy felt as if she flew, and the way she seemed to be lost in outer space wasn’t ignored by Camden. He dreaded the reason. If Amy was dating that Ezekiel dumbass, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself; and he would have to kill him. He was also a bit nervous. He and Conrad had been texting all Sunday, he had even gone to bed late because of him. 

Camden had thought since _falling in love_ wasn’t a prerequisite to date anyone, he was safe after his summer fling. Now he wasn’t sure, and he didn’t know what kind of reaction he wanted from Conrad when they met that morning. Conrad was probably going to look at him with his happy puppy eyes, what was he supposed to do in response? He couldn’t remember the last time dating had seemed so difficult. 

“I’m dating him” Amy confessed to Camden, when they’d reached her locker. Camden waited for a moment, hoping she was joking, but her dead serious look said otherwise. 

“I can’t believe this.” He began, but Amy was already prepared for it. 

“No, I can’t believe _you_ , Camden. I like him, and I’m happy. Can’t you understand that and limit yourself to be happy for me?” Camden sighed. 

“He is _not_ worthy of you, Amy. You can do _so_ much better than him, that’s all I’m trying to say here. You’re a comet that only shows up once every two hundred years, and he is intergalactic dirt. You’re shiny, bright indigo and he is grey: something in between things that aren’t even colours at all.” Amy slammed her locker shut. 

“I wanted to believe you wouldn’t say something like this, Camden. Don’t talk to me until you’re able to be the best friend I thought you were.” She walked away, and Camden punched the locker next to him. He was found by Conrad then, who looked at him, concerned. 

“Hi babe.” He said, kissing him on the cheek. 

“Don’t call me that.” Camden was moody, that was obvious, but Conrad wasn’t going to give up without getting to know what was going on. 

“Okay.” Conrad took his hand and squeezed it with earnest affection. “Are you going to tell me what is wrong today, Cam? You look very upset.” 

“Amy is a perfect, rare desert flower and is messing everything up by dating _Goldscheier_ , who is definitely the worst choice she could’ve ever made.” Conrad winced, and chose his next words carefully. 

“I’m sure she’s worth so much more. But at least it looks like he knows how wonderful she is, and really appreciates her. Isn’t that important as well? I know you only want to see her happy. Maybe it’s difficult to see it now, but I’m sure all she needs from you now is to keep your opinions to yourself. I’m certain she isn’t looking forward approval just yet.” Camden played with the buttons on Conrad’s jacket, without even noticing, and when Conrad was over he sighed. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to take part in my plan of getting Amy the perfect boyfriend so she can see the difference? I think you’d be a terrific boyfriend for her. And if there’s anyone who can make you straight, or bi at least, that’s Amy.” Conrad cracked up. 

“I want to help, and I will do anything you ask me to, but I am quite certain I’m not going to be able to give Amy everything she deserves, and that would totally kill our possibilities. Why don’t you apologise while you come up with something better? You’ll get your best friend back, at least.” Camden didn’t really like the idea, but he admitted it was the most sensible option at the moment. 

“Okay, I’ll apologise.” Conrad kissed his forehead, Camden blushed, a bit off guard. Public display of affection wasn’t his strong point. Not when it was tender and truthful, like Conrad made it. 

“That’Hs what I wanted to hear. Now, I have Physics II, so I gotta run. See you after school?” Camden nodded, and as he saw the aisle rather empty, he stopped Conrad. 

“Wait.” He kissed him, then walked away. 

 _I’m not sure I’m going to be able to be cautious_ , Conrad told himself. He’d had his heart broken before, and he was very careful to whom he gave the power to break it ever since. It hadn’t spared him any heartache, but had made the heartache more meaningful, at least. Yet it didn’t seem as this time he would be able to choose. He saw Camden’s silhouette walking away from him and he crumbled to pieces. He was no longer himself without Camden Fairchild in the equation. 


	10. Chapter 10

Levi was sure he wasn’t ready to face Meryl, he didn’Ht have a plan yet. He knew he could work his way out of any situation, but he needed to define which situations he wanted to walk out of and which ones he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t have much of a choice. He was supposed to take notes for Raleigh even though, of late, he’d barely taken notes for himself.

But what waited for him in Meryl’s classroom was nothing like awkwardness or anxiety. It was hard, cold disappointment. Meryl was more distant than ever. It lfelt as if he was see-through. Levi Waldorf was able to endure many things, but indifference was like a raw knife through his heart. In kindergarten the teachers who ignored him had received the best of his annoyance and abilities to make a fuss with the help of his classmates.

He was growing desperate by the second. He tried everything: he smiled, he winked, and he’d whispered things he knew she could listen without any trouble. He even made signs on his copybooks with messages to her. It was all in vain. All his attempts to call Meryl’s attention were useless, she acted like he wasn’t even there.

He could only wait until the class was over.

“Meryl.” He said, as she tied up her hair in a ponytail, looking at the whiteboard. She turned around, and he could see the freckles that peppered her collar bone.

“Mr. Waldorf.” She replied, coldly, her face devoid of any expression. He could no longer see the want trapped in her eyes. Her pupils were dull and no longer the window to her soul.

“So you _are_ talking to me. Don’t act like nothing’s happened, Meryl. You and I both know what happened on Saturday night can’t be ignored.” Meryl blinked slowly and sighed.

“I’m absolutely certain I have no idea what you are talking about, Mr. Waldorf.” He hit her desk with such a furious fist, it made it sound as if he’d broken his fingers.

“Dammit, Meryl!” Meryl made a face.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave, Mr. Waldorf. Have a good day.” She turned around and began writing things on the whiteboard for her next lesson.

“Meryl.” Levi said, but she went on with her business. He called out for her two or three more times, but he was ignored. He left angry and hurt. The moment he walked out the door, Meryl collapsed onto her desk chair. Her heart was in her throat, and there were red waning moons on her palms, where her nails had torn into, in order to help her keep control.

 

He had to wait until after lunch to run into Amy.or a living. art, and some law magazines. He remembered then what Briony had said earlier, about her brother planning to arg She was sitting on a bench, with that girl whose name Camden couldn’t possibly remember.

“Go away.” He told her, and she muttered something under her breath before saying goodbye to Amy.

“Did you have to be that rude to her?” Amy said, angrily.

“I couldn’t care less for Cookie.” He sighed and sat by her. Amy shot him a murderous look.

“I haven’t granted you permission to sit by me, or talk to me for that matter.” Camden rolled his eyes.

“I’m here to…” he took a deep breath. That was going to be a rare thing: Camden Fairchild apologising. The world wasn’t ending because it was Amy who he was apologising to. “I’m here to say I’m sorry. I don’t approve, but I’m going to try and be supportive.” Amy was in silence for a couple seconds, squinting to see if she could detect any insincerity.

“Let me guess, Briony called you this morning?” She enquired, when she had to admit he was being sincere. Camden was relieved and grinned, knowing himself forgiven. He then tried to swallow the blood that was threatening to run to his cheeks, but he knew the effort was never completely efficient. Most of the time it only made it worse.

“No. Why can’t you think it was my own conscience that gave me enough remorse to try and make amends?” Amy arched up an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Fine. It wasn’t just me, but it wasn’t Briony, either. It was Conrad.” Amy was surprised.

“Conrad? As in Conrad Payne, the angel-looking guy who threw himself into a pool for you?” Camden sighed loudly. How was it possible that both Amy _and_ Conrad tortured him in the same way?

“Yes. I suppose he would like it better if I said ‘Conrad, as in Conrad Payne, my boyfriend’.” Amy forgot immediately all her anger, and focused completely on the unexpected news.

“No way! Why didn’t you tell me about this? You know, these are the moments in which I notice how silly you truly are, making me get mad at you for disliking _my_ boyfriend instead of telling me you have a new boyfriend of your own!” Amy was elated. “Oh my God, tell me everything! Did he ask you to be his boyfriend or what? Why did you change your mind? I thought he was cute but you weren’t completely sure about it? Oh my, Cam, I’m so happy for you!” Amy was all smiles and glittery eyes and he decided he preferred her that way. Angry Amy was scary and she didn’t make him feel like his life was as important as the latest chapter of Gossip Girl.

“I asked him to have dinner at my place since he was there for us all the afternoon at the hospital. My dad asked what was going on between us and I didn’t feel like saying we were friends or some other crap. I’ve called guys my boyfriends for less, to be honest. I guess I owed it to him.” Amy giggled.

“I knew it! Yes, it is most perfect. He is the hottest one you’ve dated so far, I am sure. And I know I’ve only witnessed it from afar but the way he looks at you… aw, this is so unfair! I feel almost happier for you than for myself.” Camden laughed.

“Don’t get so excited, Amy. People are watching. It isn’t such a big deal, I’m not some thirteen-year-old discovering porn sites, for God’s sake.” Amy chuckled, but she kept talking about it and making tons of questions. Whoever saw them would’ve said Camden was irritated beyond limits, but he was actually glad he had Amy. She was so precious to him; he’d die for her in the blink of an eye.

 

He was allowed to visit her that afternoon. The cast made things easier, since it was uncomfortable but kept him from hurting. He knocked on the door, and Serena opened it for him. She smiled widely and warmly. Melissa’s parents had always been very fond of him, and they always treated him as if he were important.

“Hi Mrs. Adair, is Melissa awake yet?” He asked, as she welcomed him into the kitchen.

“Raleigh, sweetie, we’ve been through this a thousand times already, haven’t we? I’ve already told you to call me Serena! You’re dating my daughter, it’s the least you could do.” Raleigh nodded. “And yes, I believe Melissa’s up. I think I heard her moving some stuff upstairs when I got home from surgery.” Serena was a vet, which was a total wonder to Raleigh, because the Adair family owned no pets at all. “Do you want something to drink, dear?”

“No, thanks. Has Mr. Adair, I mean, Henry, come back from Germany yet?” Henry was a businessman who made a lot of few-day trips all around the globe. Melissa had told him, before he fell off the roof, that he was leaving for Germany on Sunday night.

“No, he’s flying back on Wednesday. Clients in Germany are very important, he wouldn’t want to mess a deal up.” Raleigh agreed, not knowing exactly what kind of business Melissa’s dad was in.

“Can I?” He said, gesturing towards the second floor. He didn’t want to be impolite. Serena smiled widely.

“Of course, sweetie. Make yourself at home.”

Raleigh went upstairs calmly, even though he would’ve preferred to skip every other step in order to reach Melissa’s room quicker. She was lying on her pillows, by her window. Soft jazz was playing and she was just staring at the ceiling. Her wavy short hair fell loose and extended on every direction, some of it grazing her shoulders. She saw Raleigh, but she didn’t move. She remembered the last time she saw him: passed out on his car, Amy acting as a pillow so his neck wouldn’t hurt when he woke up.

‘Goodbye, Francine’ she’d said when they’d dropped her off at her place. She knew it was his family’s time to have him for the night but, God, how she’d wanted to ask to spend the night at Raleigh’s. She stared, in silence, forever. Finally, Raleigh spoke.

“Hey there.”

“Hi.” He came near and sat by her, took a lock of her hair between his fingers.

“Your mother knows we’re dating.” It was an accusation, but with no resentment behind it.

“She’s thought we’ve been dating since sophomore year.” Raleigh cracked up.

“And you still let me go out through your window?” Melissa shrugged.

“Didn’t want to ruin the fun.” He touched her cheek, in a most tender gesture. Melissa closed her eyes.

“Lisa?” He asked, thinking her asleep.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” Melissa opened her eyes, sat up, and kissed him.

“Same here.” She traced his cast with a curious finger. “Did it hurt?”

“Like hell.” Melissa’s eyes shone with worry. “But I had the best night of my life before it, and I would hurt like that a million times more just to be as happy again.”

“That’s a good thing.” Raleigh arched up an eyebrow. “Because next time you have to get out through the bathroom’s window. I know it’s narrower, but I’m sure you’ll be okay.” They both chuckled, and Raleigh joined her during her late afternoon nap.

 

Conrad: Watcha doin’?

Cam: Watching Fashion Police.

Conrad: Really? Who are they trashing now?

Cam: Well, Rihanna looked like a fucking cupcake on the Grammy’s tonight.

Conrad: Did they say so?

Cam: They said she was way too old to play the Disney princess card.

Conrad: Anyone looking good?

Cam: Taylor Swift looked like the ethereal goddess version of Elsa.

Conrad: Wanna go to the cinema on Friday?

Cam: Is there anything good on?

Conrad: How about we just go and watch whatever starts first? If the movie is good, we watch it, if it’s not, we take advantage of the dark.

Cam: You’re gross.

Conrad: Maybe. Are you in?

Cam: Whatever.

 

“Come on, Raleigh, pick up.” Levi was getting a bit insistent, being it the tenth lost call he’d left his best friend. But it was an urgent matter. He tried one last time, but Raleigh didn’t answer. He obviously was busy with Melissa, or having a broken arm. He looked at the TV, the scene of the movie he was watching most certainly forever burnt on his retinas.

 

Camden thought, judging by the past days, that one ought to be a good morning in comparison. Amy was chatting about how Sarah had landed the hottest guy in the soccer team, and when he saw Conrad walking towards him, he felt as if he could get used to that. Of course, the day was doomed not to stay the same.

“Good morning.” Conrad greeted Amy, before resting his back on the lockers, by Camden’s. “Hi, Cam. Did you sleep well? I see you fixed things with Amy. I’m glad.” His smile was quite radiant, but of course Camden Fairchild would not allow himself to notice something as shallow or trivial as what a great smile Conrad had, so instead he focused on his words. It was weird, no one had asked him how he’d slept in a long while.

“I slept well, I guess. Yeah, I talked to her yesterday after lunch.” Conrad nodded.

“I was thinking, on Friday, maybe we could stop at my place after to have dinner? My dad is a bit… eccentric, I dare say, but I’m sure I can have him on his best behaviour.” Camden studied his expression for a moment. _Well_ , he thought, _we_ are _dating after all_.

“I suppose I can make that work.” Camden put his History book in his backpack. “Got History now, gotta run. But I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Perfect.” He watched Camden close his locker and waited for his goodbye kiss, but it didn’t arrive. “Sure, I won’t stop you.” Conrad turned to Amy, then. “I’ll see you during the second period, I suppose. Don’t forget we’ve got an assignment to finish.” He walked away afterwards, leaving Amy and Camden alone. Camden shoved his backpack on his shoulder and started walking when he suddenly noticed. Amy had been waiting for it, which didn’t mean she was exactly _hoping_ for it to happen.

“Wait, did he just say he’d see you in class?” Amy made a pained expression.

“Well, yes. He’s helping out at my English class… but I swear, Cam, it’s not what you think.” But Camden didn’t listen, he was reckoning everything that had happened in the past few weeks.

“How long has he been there?” Amy sighed, she didn’t want to lie, but the truth wasn’t going to help her case, either.

“Since second semester, last year. But Camden, you gotta listen to me.” Camden was in a completely different universe.

“So the concert, and the muffins… and the skittles, the Dr Pepper Cherry…” he turned to Amy. “Did you…” he dreaded the possibility, but it was the only possible answer. It made so much sense now. “Did you sell me out?” Amy didn’t notice, but her face was pure guilt. “Oh my God, Amy! I can’t believe it! I actually thought but, ha, I should’ve known. Guys like Conrad Payne don’t just _happen_ to know things.”

“Cam! Please, don’t jump into any conclusions, I _did_ set you up to meet him at the concert but I swear I did nothing else you accuse me of! I promise you I would never do anything that could hurt you. Conrad is a wonderful guy, please don’t think ill of him.”

“And you acted like you didn’t even know him. Oh my God.” Amy was so worried, if Camden thought Conrad had tricked him, Conrad didn’t stand a chance.

“Camden, come on.” He held his hands up.

“Whatever. I have class now, I’m gonna be late. We’ll talk about this later.” Amy pursed her lips, worried. _God, I could really use a miracle right now_.

 

He caught up to her before she could enter the classroom. He had to talk to her. He _needed_ her. It was no longer a matter of who wanted whom, or whether it was moral or not, he needed help, and somehow, he could only think of her to help him.

“Meryl.” He stopped her. Meryl had her hair loose, and her eyelashes did terrible, obscure things to him.

“Mr. Waldorf, I think I’ve made myself clear about meeting out of class.” He scratched his hair. His blue eyes were eternally screaming, and some part of her worried, but her mind told her not to. It wasn’t any of her business.

“ _Please_. I need you. I need some advice; it is an important, serious matter.” Meryl almost broke her new mask, but her heart was rather scared, she wouldn’t give in.

“I’m sorry Mr. Waldorf, but I’m afraid I’m of no help. You should speak to the student counsellor. Maybe he can help.” Levi snapped.

“You’re just running the fuck away. Don’t pretend the only thing there’s ever been between us is a normal, common, student-teacher relationship. We’re way over that, and you know it.”

“I’m late for class. But I’m not sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Waldorf.”


	11. Chapter 11

Camden Fairchild was upset. He spent the rest of the day exasperated, because as angry as he was, he was unable to find Conrad to yell at him to go to screw with someone else. He was even more upset about _being upset_. So Conrad wasn’t who he thought he was, big deal. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been played by other people before.

He debated himself and agonised over whether he should or not be upset about the whole deal during the entire English class. Three or four times he saw some golden curls in the hallways, and straightened up, ready to snap, but it would never be Conrad and so, he would have to bite back all the unflattering words he had on the tip of his tongue.

He finally couldn’t stand it anymore. To hell with Conrad Payne, if he thought he could lie to him like that and it wouldn’t have any consequences. _I’m not upset because it has to do with him_ , he told himself, _I’m upset because I’ve been lied to, and that should always upset me_. He walked the school looking for him, until finally he got the hint that Conrad was supposed to be at football practice.

Camden walked in the direction of the football field for the second time that year and the second time in his life. Conrad was sure the root of all of his problems. It was no coincidence that the moment he met Conrad he began doing stupid stuff like going to football games and the team’s parties.

He found the coach, but he didn’t find Conrad. Mr. Green told him that Conrad had, in fact, been there, but he was now off to the showers. Camden groaned, he didn’t like the idea of facing Conrad in a room full of sweaty douches, but he saw no other way. Maybe he would even do him a favour, outing him once and for all to his team.

He pushed the door to the football team’s locker room reluctantly, praying to every single deity that for some strange reason, everyone in the team except for Conrad had gone straight home after practice. He wasn’t afraid of them, he was pretty sure he could break the nose of most of them single-handedly, but he would rather avoid them if possible. He hated them so much he would feel tempted to set the whole thing on fire.

His prayers were answered: the locker room was deserted. A single stream of water could be heard, and it died soon after he entered. He tensed. If it wasn’t Conrad, the situation would be not only beyond awkward, but absolutely disgusting. Yet, once again, God pitied him and Conrad walked out of the showers with a towel around his waist. He was clearly surprised to see him. Camden tried to keep focus. _I’m so stupid, I should’ve banged him before I broke up with him_ ; he thought as he looked at Conrad’s dripping curls and his slim yet muscular torso. He was tall, but not big like those gorilla-dudes football teams sometimes adored.

“Is everything okay? Or did you come to check me out?” Conrad asked, as he opened his locker and found his clothes, but Camden wouldn’t give him time to do anything.

“I know.” Conrad was confused. _Okay, not here to check me out_ was the only thing clear to him.

“You’ll have to be more elaborate for me to follow, because I’m sure you know many things.” Camden shot him a murderous look, and he got the hint that everything was somehow going to hell.

“I know about you and Amy plotting against me.” Conrad sighed loudly, thinking of right words to reply, but Camden was angry all over again now that he remembered everything. Every single attention was then renewed as an offense and hurt, amplified by the feeling of betrayal. “ _You_ were playing me along all this time, weren’t you? You somehow managed to brainwash Amy to get info out of her and use it against me. How long did you plan to keep up this charade, huh? _How long_?” Conrad wanted to be comprehensive, but he’d tried so hard… Camden’s reaction didn’t seem fair at all. He was on the edge of getting mad, too.

“I did not plot against you, more like _for_ you. And just so you know, Amy only fixed an opportunity for me to talk to you.”

“So you were planning to jump on me on that concert all the time.” Conrad seemed hurt.

“Of course not! Amy got angry at you, things got out of hand. She was supposed to orchestrate some kind of double date. When she left, she texted me I was on my own, and I chose not to miss the chance.”

“I’m sure you had a lot of time to plan this explanation. But you can’t deny the fact that you knew nothing about me, she _must_ have given you all the tips. You were right too many times.”

“Oh my God, Cam! No, she didn’t. Is it really _that_ difficult for you to believe that I could have some honest to God interest in you? Why can’t I just have happened to have a crush on you and wanted to explore my possibilities?” Camden was not sure how to answer at first, but the reply struck him, it was the obvious thing to say. Everyone had been telling the same thing to Conrad since the beginning of high school.

“Because you can’t. You get straight ‘A’s, you were quarterback, you are co-captain, you plan to go to Harvard and study astrophysics or astronomy and it’s the most ancient, well known thing that _boys like you just don’t date boys like me_. Which is even the updated version of ‘boys like you don’t date boys’ but I guess I can’t say you’re faking the gay thing.” Conrad was speechless.

“I didn’t mean to tell you this because it’s a little embarrassing, but what the heck. I’ve had a crush on you since sophomore year. I was going to do nothing about it. You would never give me the time of the day anyway, you loathed everything I was related to. Well, maybe not the physics nerd thing, but everything else. That was it until a friend of mine, Lizzie, said this was my last high school year and I had to give it a shot because otherwise I would spend the rest of my life wondering ‘what if’. Also, she can be pretty persuasive.

“I liked you already, hell, you can be so easy on the eye sometimes. All the damn time, to be honest. _I’m a good observer_. I knew you liked muffins, Skittles and Dr Pepper Cherry. I knew your best friend was a petit beautiful girl named Amy and you sometimes hung out with all her gang. I wanted you to like me because… I don’t know, even from afar, I guess I kind of liked you.” Conrad’s speech was certainly not what Camden had been expecting. He started to feel all fluttery and weird. Conrad’s words repeated themselves over and over in his mind. _You can be so easy on the eye sometimes_. He remembered the way his dad stared at Tate, and he felt as if he’d figured out the feeling. Conrad’s sometimes-blue-sometimes-grey eyes were hurt and grey and angry and, _God damn it, I’m helpless, aren’t I?_

“You had a crush on me?” He repeated, not knowing what to say.

“Are you going to doubt that too? Look, I’m sorry. I know I kind of forced myself on you, and I’ve noticed you’re not totally convinced of this. You can call it off. In fact, please call it off now, I don’t want to be in a one-sided relationship, especially when I can tell I’m slowly but surely falling for you.” Camden had probably fallen in love once or twice. He’d had a fair share of boyfriends, of ‘something’s, and he wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t green.

He thought of all the things Conrad had done. He _had_ lied to him and lured him into his flat. But he had also thrown himself into that pool and had been there at the hospital. Camden _had_ wanted to kiss him when they were soaked in the car, and when they were standing on his porch. He _had_ invited him to have dinner at his house. Camden never did things like those. People were introduced to Briony only when they were worth it.

He hated to admit it, but he liked Conrad Payne. All his actions during the last weeks showed that he cared for Conrad more than he let on. And it probably was because Conrad found a way to, like Amy, make him feel important. Like every single detail about him was to keep in mind and be learnt by heart. Maybe things weren’t going to turn out the right way, but it was his job to find out.

“I’m not calling it off.” Conrad squinted, not sure if he’d heard right. He was rather hurt and confused by Camden’s mistrust. “I’ve been kind of a jerk to you, too.” _Look him in the eye, don’t get distracted by the fact he’s only covered by a towel_.  “I don’t know if we’ll ever make it but I chose to make you my boyfriend, and I’m not some silly kid who goes around playing with people. Plus, Briony was growing fond of you, she would glare at me for a month if I ended things with you.” Conrad did not seem satisfied.

“Is that all?”

“I like you. You’re annoying and cheesy but, in some retarded twisted way, I think I dig that. There, I said it.” Conrad’s mouth started tingling in one corner, until he smiled.

“Are we good now? Are you going to ask me if I made sure Amy met Ezekiel so things would go the way they’ve gone?” Camden made a face.

“ _Don’t_ mention Goldscheier now, that’s a total mood killer. And you do not have the master evil mind required for such a complex plan, that I know.” Conrad took Camden’s hand, and looked at him lovingly. “You _do_ remember you still haven’t dressed, do you?” Conrad gave him a sly look.

“I see no harm, I only plan to make out with you and I happen to be the one in charge to lock the room. I also know no one is coming back.” Camden saw his short, golden locks dripping, once more. His ridiculous eyes, tired but lovely and blue.

“I guess as long as you lock the door…” Conrad grinned.

“Sure.” He kissed Cam, and he was glad to find it was like the night of the party. He could feel Camden’s fingers sinking in his shoulders, the shaky hand that crept reluctantly to his neck and settled there, possessively. He wasn’t the only one fantasising about them, and that was just about what Conrad needed for the time being. They broke the kiss, Conrad ready to dress up and leave.

“Let’s leave.” Camden finally said. He could only stand for so long being in the locker room.

“Okay. You can head on, I’ll change and catch up with you outside.” Camden nodded and walked towards the door. He stole a last glance of Conrad’s smooth back before leaving.

 

Melissa woke up by the claxon of Raleigh’s car. Two minutes after, he was upstairs with her, dragging her out of bed. Broken arm and everything, Raleigh was a pretty strong guy, so she gave up and got ready for school. _God, he could’ve had more days of home rest_. Sadly, Raleigh was going to have his cast for two months or so, which meant he had to suck it up and go back to his routine. And so she had to do the same.

She got in the car, and sitting on the back seat was Amy, as usual.

“Hello, Amy.” Melissa greeted, though her voice told her she was sleepier than ever.

“Hello, Lisa. Good to see you up. It’s a shame that without my brother you immediately start on skipping school.” Melissa grinned.

“What can I say? I get tired.” _That I can tell_ , Amy told herself. She and Melissa got along well but they weren’t exactly best friends. They could do small talk and lend each other clothes and Amy was waiting for the day she was to marry her brother with loving anxiety, but that was it. They didn’t talk for hours on the phone or planned sleepovers. She was Raleigh’s girlfriend, but was one of his best friends as well.

They picked Cam on their way to school, who was secretly grateful for Raleigh being back, because his dad was making him pay the gas he used, and it was starting to hurt his monthly budget.

“How is it legal for you to drive when one of your arms is immobilised by a cast?” Camden _had_ to ask, as Raleigh stopped on account of a red light, three blocks from school.

“It isn’t but, come on, no cop has the coldness in his heart to give a ticket to a guy with a cast.” Camden considered it for a moment, then destroyed the argument.

“That is, assuming all policemen have, indeed, hearts. And that you can truly generate pity in anyone, cast or no cast.” Raleigh rolled his eyes.

“ _I missed you too, Fairchild_.” The sarcasm was evident, but Camden took it as a compliment.

 

Levi was looking at the horizon, leaning on his locker, when Raleigh walked into his visual field. No reaction was issued whatsoever. So, Raleigh was forced to hit Levi with his cast.

“God dammit, String, what the hell are you doing hitting me with that thing. That must already have all your germs and your grime inside of it. I bet it already smells like shit. You can’t afford bruising me, either. You know I reserve bruises only for kinky memories, and I sure don’t wanna think of you late at night while I’m at it.” Raleigh’s eyes went wide.

“Dude! _TMI_!” Levi laughed, but Raleigh could tell something was different. “Are you okay?” Levi dismissed the subject with a gesture of his hand.

“Yeah, just a headache, drank too much last night.” Raleigh was puzzled. Levi never drank on school nights. He had an alcoholic ethic that was very strict.

“You sure you’re okay?” Levi snapped his tongue.

“Yeah, mum. I’m alright, okay?” Raleigh nodded, and changed the subject. But he didn’t stop thinking about it. He knew something was wrong.

 

“Hi babe.” Conrad said as he sat in front of Camden, a few minutes before math started.

“I think I’ve already told you not to call me that.” Camden pouted.

“I thought we were okay?” Camden sighed.

“Of course we are okay. I like you, alright? But I don’t like ‘babe’.” Conrad made a thoughtful face and Camden could already see and dread what was bound to happen.

“What about ‘honey’?”

“No.”

“And ‘darling’?”

“No.”

“‘Sweetheart’?”

“ _No_. I don’t want a cheesy nickname, okay? My name is fine, in fact, it’s great. I don’t want you to call me anything else.” Conrad was, obviously, disappointed.

“Fine, _Cam_. Did you sleep well last night? How’s Briony doing? And your parents?”

“Yes, I did. Briony is alright, she is preparing some admission test so she can go to this nerd science geek-camp, which I will blame on you. My parents are good. Tate has been busy with the gallery because he had several new acquisitions and he had to take care of that. My dad is working with clay, Tate has been going after him all week when he’s out of work, complaining about the mess he leaves everywhere he goes.” Conrad was smiling, looking at him with deep attention, and Camden felt like maybe he should hide so that he wouldn’t feel that warm, terrible sensation that crept up to his face and turned his cheeks red.

“I’m glad to hear everything is going great. Tell them I said hi.”

“Oh, I also have to tell you we can’t go to the cinema on Friday.” Conrad’s face went from his default tender expression to deep disappointment. He seemed so sad they weren’t going to the movies, Camden almost wished he hadn’t said it. “Amy told me she’s going with Goldscheier and if I have to see them on an actual date, I’m shooting my right foot and then Goldscheier’s brainless head.” Conrad chuckled.

“Okay, I can tell that you’re _trying_ not to kill him, I have to at least give you that much.” Conrad wouldn’t give up on his hopes of seeing Camden on the weekend, so he thought of a new plan. “What if you come to my place instead? I have a really nice TV and we can watch a movie or catch the last episode of _Cupcake Wars_.” Camden couldn’t keep in a grin. How did Conrad even manage to guess what would be a show he’d watch?

“I’ll see you on Friday, then.” The teacher walked into the classroom and Conrad new he only had time to add one more thing.

“And, Cam?”

“Yes?”

“When you say stuff angrily and so full of hatred like just a second ago, it brings back some memories from yesterday, _and it turns me on_.” Camden was going to tell him to shut the hell up, but the teacher had already begun the class, and so, he had to stare at Conrad’s nape with some mixture between hate, want and puzzled feelings.

 

“Have you been avoiding me?” Ezekiel was taken by surprise, and did not know how to respond. It was definitely not what he’d thought she’d say when he saw her walking towards him.

“I am not?” He was pretty sure he wasn’t, but Amy’s incriminatory look almost made him feel the need to exclaim culpability.

“How come, then, I had to walk for thirty minutes to find you and I haven’t seen you any time before today?” Ezekiel thought of an answer.

“Because we’re on a different class and, since I’m new, I take unusual paths to my classes?” Amy nodded.

“That could be it.” She let it go. “Anyway. I was thinking, since we’re going to the movies on Friday, _maybe_ we could wander around after, sit on some badly illuminated park bench…” She traced Ezekiel’s chest with a tender finger, and he felt like the temperature around him was increasing considerably, which was weird for an autumn day as cool as that one.

The leaves changing colour had reminded him of Amy, with her coppery brown hair, and her golden eyes… Amy was so, so beautiful. It hurt to look at her sometimes, as it would hurt you to look straight at the sun.

“Uh, okay?” He was dying to kiss her, the way her lips moved to talk hypnotised him. He dreamt of her when he wasn’t seeing her. “I’ll have to ask first, though, because my mother was asked to assist to the afternoon’s service and after that we were supposed to have a big family dinner.” Amy beamed up.

“Well then, maybe we can head over to your place after the movie is over. I’d love to meet your brothers.”

“Although it’s a shame they’ll be there, because I won’t get to do this.” He brought her close and kissed her, fearing he might be dreaming. Amy dating him could only be part of a dream.

 

“Were you drinking last night?” Raleigh asked Levi, who’d randomly decided his new school look included sunglasses.

“Yeah, but dude, _relax_. I’ve just been having some rough days. I needed a couple drinks.” Raleigh frowned.

“Is there anything I can help with? You know I’m here for you, don’t you?” Levi waved off his questions.

“No, thanks. And yes, I know.”


	12. Chapter 12

The door flew open and Camden was surprised. Conrad had cleaned up the place. It was beaming with order and it looked so clean Camden was almost sure he could eat off the floor. Of course, even if he _could_ , he would never do that. It would be most shameful.

“Welcome back.” Conrad said, enjoying Camden’s expression. “I tidied it a bit, I didn’t want you to witness the mess you did last time.” And Camden understood now the mess he was able to ignore, when a LED screen showed up in front of a couch he hadn’t seen the last time he’d been there. “Do you want to eat something? Should we fix things to start watching TV now, or should we do that later?” Conrad asked as they walked inside. Camden took his hoodie off and left it over the sofa.

“Do you have—?”

“Muffins?” Conrad answered by taking some muffins out of the cupboard. Camden grinned covertly.

“I don’t even know why I bother asking.” He was handed a muffin, which he took immediately. Conrad picked one and took a bite, but seemed to think better of it and left the rest sitting on the counter.

“So? TV? Talking?”

“Making out?” Camden added, which made Conrad smirk, surprised but not in the least disappointed.

“Totally make out. But first, I have to come clean about the nature of the consequences of being here when my father comes home from work.” Camden arched up an eyebrow.

“There are consequences to my mere presence in this flat?” Conrad nodded solemnly.

“It all began when I came out to my father in a way I wasn’t planning to.” Camden made a face.

“I can see this ending badly, and I’m not sure I want to listen to it.” Conrad shook his head, and made his way into his room, sat on his bed this time, and so did Cam.

“There’s no choice. You said you wanted to date me, Camden Fairchild, you have to risk the repercussions.” Camden rolled his eyes.

“Alright, fine. But I want an extra muffin just because you’re talking to me as if you were some sort of creepy storyteller.” Conrad laughed.

“Okay. It is quite a simple story, actually. I was fifteen when I invited some guy over, I think his name was Ian or something? Anyway, I told my father he was a friend of mine and we were going to study. I thought that was enough for him not to bother us. But as I learnt what French kissing was, my father walked into my room to check on us and— I was no longer in the closet.”

“Interesting story. I’m trying not to picture the fifteen-year-old you attempting sticking your tongue into anyone’s throat for the first time because I have the dreadful feeling I won’t be able to look at you ever again if I do. Also, nobody says French kissing anymore.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, you wouldn’t be able to resist my charms. And I think French kissing sounds a lot more PG-rated, to be honest.”

“You’re more annoying than charming, that I can tell you. And I don’t see how your tragic story has anything to do with me being here.” Conrad help up his index finger.

“That’s because it’s only half of the story. The second half involves me and my middle school friend, Sam. Sam had to move out before high school, but he came back to visit that summer. We were very good friends, in fact, I still Skype with him from time to time. Back to the story, Sam was staying here and he was going to sleep in my room. Sadly, this happened not so long after the coming out episode, so my father’s memory was very vivid. This is why, no matter how many times I swore nothing was going to happen, my father woke me and Sam up at three a.m. to offer us condoms.” Camden cracked up.

“You have to be shitting me. Oh my God.” He caught his breath. “So what, is he going to offer us condoms, too?”

“For all I know he is as likely to give us money for a hotel room as to do nothing. We’ll never know. That is why I had to enlighten you on what can happen when my dad gets home.”

“How long until he does?”

“Four hours or something. We must use them wisely.”

“I agree.” Camden looked for Conrad’s lips just as they closed in on his, and he didn’t even think of the chapter of _Cupcake Wars_ he was missing. Conrad tasted like muffins which was, of course, a heavenly thing. But to Conrad, Camden didn’t taste like muffins, it was more like muffins tasted like Camden did.

 

“This movie sucks.” Amy announced, thirty minutes into the film.

“I don’t know; I wouldn’t judge it so harshly.” Ezekiel said so, but those thirty minutes he’d been paying more attention to the way the screen light played on Amy’s features.

“I have an idea.” She pulled the armrest between them up, hoping Ezekiel would get the hint. He simply stared, waiting for the idea. “We could take advantage of the dark.” Ezekiel blushed.

“I don’t know…”

“The beauty of the dark is you can’t really see. You can only feel.” Ezekiel couldn’t fight Amy’s logic, of course, so he leaned in and kissed her. He kissed her and the Amy of his dreams became real and the dark was so inviting that he dared kiss her neck. Amy’s sigh was barely audible but _he_ heard it. And it only obliged him to go on.

 

Camden was starting to get his fingers under Conrad’s shirt when they heard a noise. A door opening, a door closing. They both sat upright and looked at each other as if to confirm their suspicions. Conrad nodded, and Camden did the same in response. Conrad’s face was red and surprised— Camden knew that would never fool anyone but God, never mind that, he looked so beautiful… no Donatello could’ve ever emulated his features or the expression on his face. Conrad’s eyes seemed to say ‘We’re _so_ busted, but I couldn’t care less for it was totally worth it’. Camden decided he could live with that dorky expression.

Nevertheless, they weren’t alone to enjoy each other’s faces for hours. Soon enough, a voice called from the living room.

“Conrad, are you home?”

“A moment dad, I’m coming.” He said back and stood up, walked towards the door and made a gesture for Camden to follow him.

Jim Payne was browsing his own portfolio when his son walked in. His mouth curved in a gentle smile, which made the crinkles by his eyes deepen for a moment. Jim’s blond hair made it slightly difficult to spot the few white hairs that would tell how old he really was. His resemblance to Conrad was remarkable, and the heavy black frame on his nose was like a premonition. Camden could almost expect to feel a déjà vu if he got to see Conrad in his late forties.

“Hi, dad.”

“Hi, Conrad. Had a good day at school today?” Jim noticed a second or two after asking so, that Conrad had company. He silently demanded an explanation he could use to carry on.

“Yeah. I hope your day at work was fine. Dad, this is Camden Fairchild. _My boyfriend_.” Camden tried to make it look as if he weren’t there at the same time he tried to master the pride to hold Mr. Payne’s gaze for as long as it took. Jim studied Camden for half a minute, noting all the details about him. He was of average height, slim yet not scrawny, freckled and childish-looking. He also had the intensity of a lunatic in his eyes, but he supposed it a normal thing in teenagers that ached with annoyance.

Camden only thought of the unnecessary emphasis on the words ‘my’ and ‘boyfriend’.

“Very good. Nice to meet you, Camden.” He didn’t hold out a hand or anything, which Camden was relatively grateful for. Awkward handshakes weren’t at the top of his bucket-list.

“Same here, Mr. Payne.” He looked at Conrad with his ‘What now? This is getting awkward’ expression. Of course, the only response he got was a covert giggle.

“We’re gonna catch an episode or two of _Cupcake Wars_ , is that okay with you, dad?” Jim nodded, finally finding the papers he was looking for.

“Sure. I gotta finish some equations, I think I’m at the verge of a breakthrough. I’m gonna go to my room and work some more.” Camden watched Conrad’s expression turn to deep concern, but he was clearly not going to share it with his father.

“That’s cool. I’ll take care of dinner, but you _have_ to come and eat when I call you, deal?” Jim nodded once again, this time as he made haste to entre his room. He closed the door. For a moment it was only Cam looking at Conrad with preoccupation and curiosity, as Conrad stared at the shut door. The door opened for a second.

“I forgot. Be safe. I don’t want any surprises just because none of you can get pregnant.” Conrad rolled his eyes and chuckled. He turned on the TV and sat on the couch, patted the empty spot next to him for Camden to sit.

They stared at the show in silence for about an hour. Conrad seemed down, so Camden did not object when he absent-mindedly stroked his hair.

“I should probably head home, I told Briony I would help her with that geek camp application.” Camden said as the credits of _What Not to Wear_ appeared on the screen and the channel announced the next programme.

“Sure. Do you want me to drop you off?” Camden rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know. Maybe walking _is_ a good idea, I live only like, a hundred thousand blocks from you?” Conrad sighed.

“Why do you always do that? I was being polite, how was I supposed to know that Tatum dropped you off here and left with the car?”

“Because you were looking from your window.” Conrad lips parted.

“I did no such thing.”

“Well, I never told you it was Tate who dropped me off.” Conrad chuckled.

“Touché. In my defence, I was just nervous. I mean, last time you came here things weren’t that nice, were they?” Camden smiled, only to slowly change into a more serious tone.

“True, but it seems there’re still some things you haven’t sorted out.” He nodded towards the door behind which Jim had disappeared not so long ago.

“He still thinks he can get my mother back. Sometimes I feel like he’s never going to get over her. And she called a few days ago, asking for me to meet her in Denmark for Christmas… I don’t know. I would love to see him move on, but after all these years I don’t think he ever will.” Conrad had the saddest look Camden had ever seen in his face. He normally would’ve never asked, but now the idea of Conrad relying on him somehow appealed him.

“Look I don’t know about those friends of yours but, if you ever need me to come over, or scheme so that your father can start having a healthier life… you already have my phone number.” His face lit up so quickly that Camden’s system shuddered. He felt as if his heart was being squeezed, and it was a rather pleasant sensation. _Maybe Amy was right when she told me I have masochist tendencies_.

The thought was extinguished when Conrad looked at him with a moved expression and kissed him tenderly. Whenever Conrad got that look in his eyes, Camden remembered what he’d told him the day before. _I’m falling for you_. And it was, without a doubt, a scary thing. But it was not nearly half as unprecedented as the dread and excitement of him maybe falling for Conrad, and it being a requited thing. He’d always thought love was a dangerous animal, which had to be trained with an iron fist. Yet he couldn’t escape the feeling that down the road he was going, the beast was going to cut loose.

“Do you think we can finish this in the car, at some dark alley before I drop you at your place?” Camden shook his head, not feigning disappointment at all.

“I’m not going to go down on you in your car at some dark alley.” Conrad nodded, agreeing it was a silly idea. “At least, not yet.” Conrad laughed nervously because that was a cruel, cruel move to make.

 

There were two very important events taking place that month: Melissa’s annual Halloween party, and Camden’s nineteenth birthday. Melissa wasn’t the most popular girl of her generation, but given her relaxed character and her big house, her parties were always full of people. There were no invitations, and only two rules: BYOB and costumes were mandatory.

Just as the fuzz about Melissa’s party began, and all the leaves had finally changed colour, Camden was hoping to have the opposite effect on people. The lesser people knew it was going to be his birthday soon, the better. Don’t get him wrong, Camden loved to have a birthday cake and sit to eat piece after piece. But he didn’t like the unwanted attention, the awkward stares of people who never talked to him but would still wonder whether to greet him or not. Especially because he was told he was being rude if he answered things like ‘Your hypocrisy knows no limits, does it?’

He also dreaded what Conrad would do. If he knew him well enough by then, he could be sure Conrad would show up with a ton of balloons and gifts and ‘surprises’. He dreaded even more the possibility he’d forget. He was two doubts away from engaging in the ungracious activity of biting his nails when Amy smiled at him. The moment he saw her, he hurried to her side as she took some books out of her locker.

“Good morning, Cam. How was your weekend?” Camden frowned, he suddenly remembered he was supposed to be angry at Amy. Running to her side had been a mistake.

“Well, well, now you care. You would know already hadn’t you been ignoring me the entire weekend. So what? Is this how it’s going to be from now on? You dating that moron and forgetting about us all the time?” Amy did her best to keep her composure.

“Come on, Cam. I was busy and you know it. I went to the movies with Ez on Friday afternoon. I had to go shopping with Sarah and some girls on Saturday morning, and Saturday afternoon I spent helping Ray with his homework because he can’t write. Sunday morning, I was dragged to church by mum again, and I used all Sunday afternoon to study. I have some exams coming up this week, and I can’t laze around if I want to keep my perfect scores.” Camden squinted.

“None of those are excuses for not answering my texts.” Amy put a hand on his shoulder and ran it down his arm.

“I’m so very sorry, Cam, but I assure you it was never my intention. Why don’t you tell me how your weekend was? You had a date with Conrad, didn’t you? How did that go?” Camden finally gave up and sighed. Amy’s doe pleading eyes were too much for him. He was growing weaker with the years.

“It went well. I mean great, only I’m concerned about him. His dad does not take care of himself and, in consequence, Conrad worries too much.” Amy was surprised. This was a development, she’d never heard Camden worry for something happening to someone other than his immediate family and herself.

“Is Conrad okay? Are you two okay?”

“He’s fine, only worried. And we’re more than okay, I… I don’t know, I just really like him. Ever since we cleared things up I feel as though he’s honestly into me. I just can’t figure out why. But we’re fine. He’s so dorky and annoying, and I’m oddly quite into that.” Amy laughed.

“Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s smoking hot?”

“That might be yet another reason.”

“Smoking hot?” Conrad interrupted the conversation. “What are we talking about? That mole Cam has at the right of his mouth?” Amy giggled. “Yeah, I know, my boyfriend’s hot. But I have to tell you I can only share him on Wednesdays, and I believe you have things to do on Wednesdays.” Camden glared at him.

“You are willing to _share_ me? Maybe I was mistaken about you after all.” Conrad chuckled and Amy followed him. It wasn’t long before Camden joined them, be he did so reluctantly.

“Okay, I have class now. Gotta run. See you.” Conrad kissed Camden quickly and waved to Amy. Camden caught Amy staring at him and arched an eyebrow.

“What now?” Amy smiled, full of contempt.

“Nothing.” Camden squinted, but Amy kept silent. “Now, I have to go to class as well, see you after?”

“Sure. Also, don’t forget to hint Conrad I want no surprise parties whatsoever for my birthday.” Amy nodded.

“Got it.”

 

The sun was maybe an hour from setting, and the History classroom seemed as though time had frozen, and fractures of history were fragmenting and flying through the room as the dim sun rays shone through the windows. Everybody hated that during class. Miss Boyan kept always the curtains and the windows open for as long as rain didn’t come, no matter the cold or the sun that sometimes hit the students in their faces.

“Miss Boyan, I gotta speak to you.” She turned around, expecting the same freckled face with the intense brown eyes and the smooth factions that always tortured her, but the eyes were gold and not insistent. Raleigh’s eyes were pleading.

“Mr. String, I’ve told Mr. Waldorf many times I won’t give him any private lessons, but maybe hearing it from you this time might make him believe it.” Raleigh shook his head.

“This isn’t what I’m here about. I know Levi has been a total jerk and an impossible insufferable guy since the beginning of time but, you have to believe me, he’s in trouble. He has to be. He’s been acting strange, drinking on school nights, showing up with hangovers. I know it could sound like typical Levi but, I’m being a hundred percent honest, that isn’t him.” Meryl kept silent for a couple seconds while Raleigh was so nervous he’d begun playing with his fingers. He’d come to Meryl because he needed help, but involving a normal adult would make him look bad. Meryl was just the kind of adult he needed to intervene. Someone responsible, but who wasn’t considered an equal to a ‘parent’. And it was Meryl. Levi worshipped the earth she walked, even though he wouldn’t ever speak of it.

“He is far too pretentious for anything like that, that much is true.” She finally admitted, and Raleigh was impressed by how accurate the reflexion was. Maybe Levi hadn’t been dreaming when he’d told him Meryl was interested in him. “But I’m afraid my hands are tied and I can’t help you. This is not an appropriate time for us to be alone in this classroom and neither is appropriate for me to intervene in student’s private affairs without reaching out to its parents.” Raleigh knew she wouldn’t say yes just like that, and he knew pushing her to agree wouldn’t get him in trouble.

“Don’t get me wrong, Miss Boyan, but no matter who sees us, there’s no way a rumour can be created because I have a girlfriend whom I love very, very much. She and everyone who knows us will tell anyone else that me cheating on her is bullshit.” He cleared his throat. “Excuse my words.” Meryl laughed. Raleigh, even though he found Meryl terrifying, had to admit she was a gorgeous woman. Her short tight skirts and loose blouses had everyone sighing, even though most of the time the colours barely matched. But it was more than that, in the words he thought Levi would use, she was ‘really beautiful’.

It was something in her almond, curly hair and her gracious features, her dark honey eyes and the freckles she shared with his friend, though hers were softer, like a royal compliment to her skin. When you took the time, it was easy to notice Levi had way more freckles than anyone would ever care to notice. Levi wasn’t thrilled to have them, but he would’ve said they fit Meryl regally. When Levi Waldorf said someone was really beautiful, it wasn’t a light compliment. Levi had been spending most of his life hours admiring beauty. The one you behold during astonishing sunsets and the blue hour in forests.

Having admitted she was beautiful like no other, Raleigh still thought of her as a predator.

“You seem very concerned about your friend, Mr. String. I will see what I can do. But if I step into anything that’s dangerous, make no mistake, Mr. String, I _will_ call Mr. Waldorf’s father and have him meet me in private to discuss his son’s situation. Have I made myself clear?” Raleigh swallowed and nodded. His hands were sweaty and his heart beat fast.

“Crystal.” He responded, and walked away as soon as told to do so. Asking for Meryl’s help had felt to him as if he’d made a pact with the devil.


	13. Chapter 13

“Happy nineteenth birthday, brother!” Briony woke him up with a big hug and a felt kiss on the cheek. After her came Tate, holding a tray with his birthday breakfast. Jon was carrying a gift-wrapped box. He was thrilled to find out it was Briony’s homemade bonbons and a book about art during the Spanish Civil War. He would’ve loved to have a _Back to the Future_ marathon with his family, but both he and Briony had to go to school. So when the claxon of Raleigh’s car broke the morning, he said goodbye and jumped into the car.

Amy gave him an especial hard cover edition of a collection of best contemporary poets and Raleigh simply greeted him. Melissa was asleep, as usual. Levi muttered something like ‘birthday’ so he thought he should feel greeted from him as well.

The only person in the entire day he didn’t get anything from nor did even see, was Conrad. It _was_ disappointing. He’d remembered his preference in coffee, one would figure he’d remember his birthday as well. They didn’t meet on the hallways once, which meant Conrad was definitely avoiding him because he _always_ dropped by at least to say hello. _Maybe he just forgot_ , Camden thought. _Maybe he had more important things going on_. But the way Camden worked, he soon got angry at Conrad because, God dammit, what could possibly be more important when he’d sworn to him he’d always be there?

Dinner was nice, in spite of it. Amy went back from school with him, and stayed for gnocchi witch spinach sauce, Camden’s favourite. They ate and joked and laughed. Briony had some exciting news about her camp: she would be able to work in an actual lab and carry on an experiment. It was time for dessert soon, and the bell rang.

“It must be the cake.” Tate said. It wasn’t common for them to have a cake delivered, but maybe they’d gotten a tip on some great bakery and decided to try it out. Camden played with his napkin, uninterested, as Amy chat about Ez and he pretended to be cool about it.

Someone turned the lights off, and Camden expected Tate to come in carrying the cake. The one who came in singing ‘Happy Birthday’ wasn’t him, though. Conrad’s smile was wide and he walked decidedly but carefully so as not to drop the cake. Camden was surprised to see him and did not know what to do because he had been angry, and now he couldn’t let go of the anger by yelling because his family and Amy were there too.

“Make a wish.” Conrad said, laying the cake on the table.

“And you would love for it to be me blowing…” he whispered, Conrad blushed. Camden blew the candles and everyone clapped. “The candles, of course.” Conrad chuckled and sighed.

“How about a ‘Thank you so much, that one was a big surprise’?” Camden shook his head.

 

“What are you thinking of, sweetie?” His mother sat beside him and stroke his back in the same tender manner she’d used since he could remember. “You seem worried.”

“Do you remember Amy, mum? The girl we dropped at her apartment after the movies?” She nodded. “Well, she’s my girlfriend.”

“I figured as much.” Ezekiel cleared his throat.

“Anyway. There’s this guy who is her best friend since forever, and who really hates me and is not making things between me and Amy easy at all.”

“Well, maybe he’s in love with her?” Ezekiel shook his head.

“No, he’s gay.” Sarah gasped. _Right_ , Ezekiel remembered, _Judaism condemns homosexuality_. But her expression softened immediately.

“Well, you can only do what God tells us, my dear son. Pray for him and pray for the strength to handle the situation in a way God would approve of.” Ezekiel nodded. He envied his mother’s blind faith and, sometimes, like at that moment, he would wish things were as easy as to prayer to be the answer.

 

It was a while before they were on their own. Camden knew the rules, so they engaged in a game of Super Smash Bros on Camden’s Wii to keep the mind of Camden’s parents at ease.

“I was really angry at you; you know? I thought you’d forgotten.” Camden confessed as his Kirby inflicted serious damage on Conrad’s Pikachu.

“That’s so unfair! I’m a beginner, you know, you should take pity on me.” Pikachu was certainly having a hard time. “And I would never forget, but Amy said I was to make no surprise parties whatsoever so I decided to surprise you in some other way.” Kirby attacked Pikachu again, and this time Pikachu did not recover.

“If I’m soft on you, you’ll never get any good.” The K.O. letters made it onto the screen. “Next time you can surprise me with a real nice present and it’ll be okay.”

“Talking about presents,” Conrad searched in the pocket of his hoodie, and pulled out a small gift box. Camden took it wearily, unwrapping it quickly but carefully. What he discovered was definitely unexpected.

“Are these…?” He was astonished, and could not form the rest of the question.

“I noticed you lacked those colours in your Sharpie collection. I believe it’s now complete?” Camden stared at the markers with awe. Those were some limited edition Sharpie markers that he’d been looking for but had never come across. At least not when they were for sale.

“How did you get them?”

“I know someone who knows someone. Anyway, I called in some favours. I hope you like them.” Camden left the markers at his side and kissed Conrad.

“That’s what I was talking about. You don’t have to scare me and make me angry at you to surprise me.” _You were scared?_ Conrad meant to ask, but decided against it. His eyes were staring at Cam with honest affection, and Camden knew he craved no payback for the gift. Still, he saw no ill in positive reinforcement, so he drew Conrad near and kissed him, again. Conrad’s lips were soft, and his hands were always tender and firm. A thought formed in Camden’s mind as he kissed Conrad’s collarbone, but it was so scary he wouldn’t let it out. He barely allowed it to exist inside in his mind. _Maybe I love him_.


	14. Chapter 14

“Are you sure this is all you could find?” Some girl, who was leaving the class late, gave them a strange look, but since Melissa was there with Raleigh, she soon left with no suspicions. Raleigh nodded, as Meryl browsed an USB with all the movies Raleigh had downloaded for Levi in the past two months.

“It’s the only thing I can think of that’s new in his life.” Meryl shook her head and sighed. She’d watched some of those movies, but it would take her a while until she could watch them all and pick a common factor. Besides them all being B-list films.

“This is going to take a while, and more free-time I’d meant to put into this. Are you sure you don’t know anything at all?” Raleigh thought about it for a moment. But it was Melissa who remembered.

“Didn’t you say the last ones you’ve been downloading all have the same actress in them?” Raleigh’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, I think so. Yes. So then you only have to check the most recent files, Miss Boyan.” She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. I’m not gonna watch them right now, so you can get going.” Raleigh lowered his eyes and walked out. Melissa stood there for a while longer.

“You find what it is and you help him, okay?” She was being dead serious, and admitted no negative replies.

“I thought your boyfriend was String, Miss Adair.” Melissa nodded.

“Yes, and Raleigh’s best friend in the whole wide world is Levi. So I don’t care if he’s an ass and he’s been bugging you since your first day in this school. Raleigh thinks you’re the only one who can help him, so you _will_ do that.” Meryl laughed.

“You have guts, Melissa. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Melissa smiled in agreement and joined Raleigh outside.

“What took you so long?” He asked.

“I was just asking which shade of lipstick she wears.” Raleigh was surprised.

“Oh. And which one is it?” Melissa shrugged.

“She wouldn’t tell.”

 

Amy held up her Dorothy dress and let Camden study it. After a long while, Camden nodded. The skirt wasn’t too short nor too long, and the length of the red heels wasn’t too suggestive either. Plus, braids suited Amy charmingly well. She’d look beautiful as always.

“Please tell me Goldscheier is going as Toto.” Camden said, considering it would be the greatest payback from the universe to see him like that. Amy made a face, but decided not to fight about it.

“I told him I’m going as Dorothy, but he didn’t say if he was going to match me or not.” She put her dress on a hanger and hung it in her closet. “What are you and Conrad going as, anyway?” Camden looked at her, incredulous.

“I can’t believe after all this time you would still believe I’d ever wear matching costumes with anyone other than you.” Amy rolled her eyes. “We’ve decided not to tell each other.”

“I bet _you_ decided so, in order for poor Conrad not to be able to match your costume.” Amy sighed. “He’s a pure soul in love with the devil.” Camden tried to ignore the fact that Amy had referred to Conrad as _in love with him_.

“That I agreed to go to the stupid party at all is a miracle. He should be grateful. If I’m too condescending, next thing you’ll know he’ll try to ask me out to prom, and you and I both know I will only ever attend prom if you need me to go with you to _your_ senior prom.” Amy was not so sure about it, but she knew any comment from her would make him try all the more not to go. That would be sabotaging Conrad, assuming he would ask Camden to prom. “You’ll be queen next year, I’m certain of it.” Amy smiled, she knew Camden was paying her a great compliment. He didn’t really think being prom queen was important at all, but he’d said it as if there was no possible competition for her.

“Wanna watch some movies before you go?” Camden arched up an eyebrow.

“Isn’t Goldscheier coming to take my place today?” Once again, Amy took a deep breath and let it go.

“No, today I’m all yours.” Camden, already lying on her bed, patted the space beside him and she took it, wrapping her arms around him. He took the remote control and changed channels until he found a movie about to start. He stared at her coppery brown hair and her golden eyes and was moved by her beauty. Amy was the epitome of everything good and beautiful in the world.

“If I were straight, I would totally propose to you right now.” He told her.

“But we both know you’re hot for a blond, angel-like boy. So I’m safe from rushed, teenage marriage.” Camden chuckled. Amy was his platonic love and would always remain as such.

 

“Didn’t he tell you what he’s going as?” Felicity asked for the twelfth time. Conrad was about to lose his patience.

“No, Lizzie, he didn’t. He says we’ll live in Mars before he agrees to match my costume to any party.” Felicity frowned.

“This boyfriend of yours is a total prince charming, isn’t he?” She sorted through the costumes in the store and sighed in disappointment. “None of these are any good, honey. You’ll look like a moron in any of them and that would be a big turn off for your worst-half.” Conrad looked at her with a ‘Really?’ expression, judging the way she’d referred to Cam.

“What can I do, then? You know I’m not that inventive, and I’ll probably mess up.” Felicity nodded. Conrad usually looked good no matter what he put on, so clothes were never a problem. Yet, when it came to actually deciding what to wear, her friend was totally helpless.

“Don’t you own any costumes?”

“Unless you count the astronaut costume I stopped wearing when I was eleven, no.” Felicity scratched her head, trying to think of something.

“Can’t you match mine? I’m going as a fairy godmother.” Conrad laughed.

“So what? Now I’m supposed to go as Cinderella?” Felicity smiled.

“Blue _is_ your colour, darling.” Then she got an idea. “Oh, yes. I got it.”

“What?” He asked, impatient.

“Do you own any black clothes?” Conrad nodded. “Well, I bet you look better in black than the widows of your enemies.” Conrad was confused at first, then he got it.

“Oh. Shadowhunters.” Felicity nodded. She was, in fact, the only reason why Conrad had read _The Mortal Instruments_ at all.

“You would make a way better Jace Wayland than Jamie Campbell. God, that guy was not a tenth as beautiful as Jace.” Conrad rolled his eyes.

“But I’m gay. I think gay Jace wouldn’t have been as popular.” Felicity considered this, but finally shook her head.

“Are you kidding? You would’ve probably tried to bang Alec and then we would have a gay love triangle and very angry Malec shippers. It would be great.” Conrad did not understand how Felicity’s mind worked, but he decided not to contradict her. Shadowhunter she said he had to be, shadowhunter he was going to be.

 

“Mum, have you seen Isaiah’s lion costume?” Sarah turned to her son, not understanding what he could possibly want that for. “Tomorrow night there’s this Halloween party and Amy asked me to go with her.” Sarah nodded, she understood the poor will of a young boy in love.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, but I gave it to one of the synagogue’s charity works. Can’t you use anything else?” Ezekiel rummaged through their costume chest, but the only half-decent costume he could find was a Luigi one. _Shoot_ , he thought. _And tomorrow I don’t have time to go look for another one_.

“This one works fine, mum.” He lied. Ezekiel might be desperate for another costume, but he wouldn’t make her mother feel guilty about it.


	15. Chapter 15

She noticed suddenly. It was the tenth movie with the same actress on it. When she realised it, she couldn’t believe how she could have missed it before. Meryl paused the scene quite like Levi had the time he’d figured it out. They both had different goals, but the discovery was the exact same. And she suddenly understood everything that was going on. She took her keys and got in her car. She would need a costume if she wanted to make sure she’d figured it out.


	16. Chapter 16

It was a Friday night and the music pumped merciless in Melissa’s house. There were bottles of every alcoholic drink possible all around the house, and the red Solo cups passed from hand to hand. Some junior dude fancied himself a DJ, and he was not doing half a bad job with the music. From the most ridiculous, to the most inappropriate, everybody was wearing a costume. It was like an amplified version of the _Mean Girls_ ’ Halloween party, only no one left embarrassed for the poor quality of their costumes.

Melissa was in her own private section of the house, her matte tan skin contradicting her costume. Raleigh was looking at her, pouting, sitting on the couch in the waiting room, the only room reserved for Melissa’s personal friends.

“Our costumes don’t match.” He complained.

“And what did you want? You would’ve looked ridiculous in thighs; I couldn’t let you come as the prince.” Raleigh rolled his eyes.

“Then why come as Snow White? You don’t even have the _snow white_ skin. You could’ve been Princess Leia and me Han Solo.”

“Honey, you’re Luke at best, and we can’t afford people thinking we’re into incest.” Raleigh didn’t know whether the comment was meant to offend him, but he frowned and crossed his arms in a hurt manner. Melissa didn’t pay attention to him, she turned when she saw Levi walking past the drunks everywhere to where they were. She arched an eyebrow.

“And here we thought you didn’t watch _Once Upon A Time_.” Indeed, with the black eyeliner and the pirate clothes, Levi looked a lot like Killian Jones. His handsome features did not betray his costume. He was one of the best in there that night. At least three girls had stopped him on his way in, and there weren’t more because he walked fast and ignored everyone.

“Melissa. I suppose there’s some irony hidden in your costume.” She nodded.

“Disney made Aurora blonde, so they took away my possibilities.” Levi looked at Raleigh, dressed as the Flash.

“I sense you’re finally admitting your premature ejaculation problems. You know, you’re _too fast_.” Raleigh glared, but Melissa laughed, delighted with the joke.

“We’re working on it, Levi. Don’t embarrass him like that.” Levi sat in front of them, and poured whatever it was in the bottle in front of him in a cup and took a sip. Raleigh gave him a concerned look.

“Dude, that’s the cheapest whiskey in the world, Melissa left it there to fool people. Don’t drink that.” Levi rolled his eyes.

“Relax. It’s a Friday night and this is a party. We’re supposed to get drunk with alcohol of terrible quality and have an awful hangover tomorrow morning.” Raleigh made a doubtful face.

“I don’t know dude…” but it was Melissa who interrupted him.

“It’s okay. He’s in my house and we can watch over him. There’s nothing to worry about.” Raleigh had to admit she had a point, and Levi raised his cup to Melissa before drinking it bottoms up.

 

“Shadowhunter look suits you.” Camden admitted, him and Conrad hiding in one of the guest rooms, avoiding the drunk crowd and Amy, who was going to be with Ezekiel. They were sitting on the floor, their backs against the bed.

“I don’t know who you are dressed up as, though.” Camden couldn’t say he was disappointed; he’d been kind of expecting it.

“Of course you wouldn’t know who I am. You dressed up as a Nephilim but you have no idea about _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. I’m Spike.” Conrad seemed to have remembered.

“Oh, are you that blond dude who has like, zero willpower?” Camden rolled his eyes, of course Conrad would concentrate in that personality treat.

“Yeah. Hey, I feel like getting drunk. Would you mind fetching something downstairs?” Conrad shook his head.

“Not at all, although I can’t drink with you, because I’m driving. Is that okay with you?” Camden nodded, and Conrad stood up and left.

 

“Damn it! It’s raining!” Amy exclaimed, as everyone hurried inside, and the weather forced her and Ezekiel to follow everyone back into the house. They didn’t get too wet, and they were safe inside when it began to pour. Ezekiel was staring at his feet, slightly embarrassed. “Is everything okay, Ez?”

“Yeah. It’s just that I feel kind of bad you got stuck with the silly guy dressed up as Luigi.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, at least I could’ve given you the heads up to come as Princess Daisy.” Amy laughed.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ez. Sure, we don’t match, but I’m happy we’re here together. I don’t care what you dressed up as, you’re still my boyfriend. You being here is all I need.” Ezekiel smiled.

“Are you sure?” Amy nodded enthusiastically.

“Now, weren’t we dancing?”

 

Levi had stood up with the excuse of going to the restroom, but he was only in need to get out of his friends’ watch. He approached an empty table in the living room, took the bottle closest to him and began pouring himself a glass.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you.” The stranger was dressed up as Agent Carter and had a British accent. Her face was hidden underneath her hat.

“Why wouldn’t you?” She lifted the hat and he saw her smile. He thought for a second maybe he’d had too much to drink and was seeing things, but then she lifted the hat completely and he was sure he wasn’t mistaken. It was Meryl. She made a strikingly good Peggy Carter.

“Because it won’t solve your problem.” Levi arched up an eyebrow.

“And what would _you_ know about my problems, Miss Boyan?” She took out a DVD she’d rented on the way there. The cover featured the woman that had been haunting Levi since the beginning of the year. He sighed.

“Raleigh.”

“Your mates are worried about you. They think you need help and, oddly enough, they believe I’m the only one who can offer it to you.” She looked at the DVD. “She’s your mother, isn’t she?” Levi was unable to look Meryl in the eye.

“She’s married and has a family upstate. At first I thought she’d chosen her career over me, but as it turns out, she just didn’t want me.” He drew his cup closer, but Meryl wrapped her hand around his wrist and stopped him.

“So what? You’re gonna let _her_ define you? This woman who wouldn’t give a bloody damn? I thought you were better than that. I thought you would think of your father and your mates. At least now I know I was right when I thought you were a waste of time.” She let his wrist go, her eyes were ablaze. “And pirates drink rum, you twat.”

“What do you care, anyway?” He glared, all the anger making his neck red, his eyes guns. And the stupid British accent only made him angrier. “You didn’t have to do what Raleigh told you to. What was in it for you? You’ve made it quite clear you don’t want me.” Meryl kept her head high.

“I was just being a decent human being, trying to help you see things as they are. That’s it, I’m leaving now.”

 

“I think maybe you’ve had too much to drink, Cam.” Conrad told him, as Camden tried to draw a rune on his arm with Conrad’s stele. Camden pouted, like the happy drunk he was when his mind was in a good place.

“Aw, don’t be such a party pooper.” Conrad rolled his eyes, and Camden left the stele aside. “You’re really pretty.” He said, and that caught Conrad off guard. He didn’t offer resistance when Camden kissed him.

“I am?” He echoed, surprised.

“Sure.” Camden’s words hit Conrad’s neck, as Camden sat atop of him. Conrad was distracted by Camden’s hands pulling his shirt off. He giggled.

“Hey, silly, what are you doing? People can walk in on us.” Camden pouted.

“Come on, it’s just the shirt.” Camden’s cheeks were flushed, and his eyes concentrated the dark, dark space Conrad was eager to discover. He couldn’t resist.

“Okay, just the shirt.” He helped Camden take it off him, and trembled underneath his warm touch. Camden’s mind was blurry. He’d felt that skin before, seen the golden glaze it had. It just felt slightly different, it now burnt his fingers and his palms, his lips when he kissed it. One of Camden’s hands looked for a button, a zipper. Conrad’s mind was losing itself in a black hole, but he knew it wasn’t okay. “Hey, Cam, stop that.” Camden seemed not to understand. He pressed his hand against Conrad’s crotch. Conrad bit his lip to stop the sound that was bound to leave him.

“But you’re hard.” Conrad sighed, putting his hands on Camden’s shoulders, to keep a safe distance.

“Yes, I know, but I… I don’t know, I guess I was expecting something different… more than this, at least.”

“More than what?” He knew he had to put it delicately, otherwise he’d offend Camden.

“I’m only saying we’re at Melissa’s, in some guest room, and you’re very, very drunk. I don’t think we should do it right now.” Camden sat back. In the back of his head the dark gruesome monsters of rejection began doing their dirty work, fed by the colourful poison of alcohol.

“Aw, don’t do this, Conrad. It’s just sex, it isn’t such a big deal… wait, are you a virgin?” Conrad took a deep breath, trying not to get upset by the comment.

“No, I’m not. I only happen to think it _is_ a big deal. Especially because it is _our_ first time. I don’t want it to be like this, have you remember half of it afterwards.” Camden clicked his tongue, his ghosts working him up for the great finale.

“I can’t believe you’re being such a fucking prude about this, Conrad.” Something far, far away snapped. A glass broke. Camden thought he could see how Conrad’s heart shattered in slow motion and he knew, he was certain, he’d messed up.

“Well this fucking prude is all you get, but I thought you already knew that.” Camden tried to say something but the blue monsters within him weren’t done, and so he fled, ran downstairs in a hurry, trying to escape what he’d done. Maybe if he didn’t touch it for a while it wouldn’t break completely, it would stitch itself up. He looked for Amy, air running out of his lungs, in one of his best panic attacks.

He found her soon enough, but the scene he witnessed was a punch to his gut. Ezekiel was with her, and he was… he was kissing her, and touching her, and doing many things Camden had sworn he would never do under his guard.

“Hey!” He interrupted, pushing him away from her. “Leave her alone!” Amy turned around, surprised, soon enough disappointed.

“What is _wrong_ with you, Cam?” But he wasn’t going to have it.

“Not now, Amy. My problem’s with Goldscheier.”

 

He tried to stop her from leaving, trapped her arm in his hand, but she got loose and walked out. He followed her outside. The rain was pouring but neither of them cared. Meryl was trying to reach her car, but it wasn’t going to happen.

“Tell me! What the hell are you doing here if you don’t care?” He demanded.

“Fine! I was fucking worried for your sorry ass!” The time froze for a second, and Levi smiled. The British accent was gone then, when there were no longer any witnesses.

“Well, well, was that so difficult to say?” Meryl glared.

“You recover too quickly.” She took the hat off, as it got damper and damper and was of no use. She threw it on the pavement. “I thought you were being emotional about how no one really wants you because your mother didn’t want you.”

“But _you_ want me.” She shook her head.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, Waldorf. You’re a kid, you have no idea. You won’t ever be able to keep up with me. You want things I won’t be able to give you, ever, and vice versa.” Levi shook his head. They were damp and he would’ve killed to kiss her in the rain. But he knew the few steps that separated from her weren’t the only thing between them.


	17. Chapter 17

“You never faced me. You always let Amy defend you, while you stand about and do nothing. I can’t let you have her, because you’re a sorry excuse for a human being who knows absolutely nothing about her. You don’t know when her first tooth fell, you don’t know when she quit playing with dolls, you don’t know… you don’t know that when she was twelve she was scared to the core she might have her first kiss stolen by some jerk, and I kissed her so it wouldn’t happen. You don’t know she was scared of the dark until the age of seven. You’re just a fucking bastard who doesn’t deserve her.” It took a lot to make Ezekiel angry, and maybe this was the last thing he needed. When he heard the word ‘bastard’ something inside him turned red. And then the world was red.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m done taking your crap.” He went on and punched Cam. Sadly, Camden was not like those dogs who bark but don’t bite. Back in the day, Camden would come home with bruises and bloody knuckles every other week.

“You dare hit me, Goldscheier.” Camden fixed the target before anyone could stop him. He asserted without trouble and a loud ‘crack’ was heard. Ezekiel’s nose was crooked and started bleeding. Amy screamed at them to stop, but as she saw Ezekiel ready to go on with that nonsense, she run for Raleigh.

“Ray, oh God, please stop them!” He’d been stroking Melissa’s hair in total peace when Amy showed up. His sister had to explain the situation to him before he got up and ran to stop them.

Raleigh pulled Camden back, and the DJ pulled Ezekiel. Camden was still trying to set himself free with all his might, and now Amy was past the upsetting feeling of her boyfriend and her best friend fighting each other. She was downright angry.

“What the hell were you thinking, Cam? You’re not my fucking dad! You don’t get to choose who I date and who I don’t. I know you’re supposed to be protecting me, but this is absurd!”

“You’ve always listened to me before. Why does he come in and all of a sudden I’m not right anymore? You replace me with this scum and expect me to stand still?”

“You’re acting like a damn kid, Cam! He is my _boyfriend_ , and I thought you were my _best friend_. There’s a huge difference between those two things. I guess it doesn’t matter now, because thanks to you, I don’t have a best friend anymore.”

Chaos unfolded inside the house but those in the rain were unaware of it. Meryl and Levi stared at each other for what it felt like an eternity, but finally Meryl left, overwhelmed by her feelings and the prospect of no future for them. Levi thought of stopping her, but chose not to.

The ones left at the party had their own concerns. Conrad was biting back the tears alone in the guest room. Camden walked out before he could do anything else and called Tate to pick him up. Amy broke down to tears, and everyone gathered around her to comfort her. The problem was that the only person who knew how to truly comfort her wasn’t there to do so.


	18. Chapter 18

Conrad was doing what he knew was the best thing after you got your heart broken, and was the first step of the whole process: denial. He sat in front of his desk and did his homework in perfect silence. When he was done, he began doing some entertaining research about the space and its components, but Hawking and the Theory of Relativity could only keep him busy for so long. He soon found himself in the second part: mourning. He let the emptiness inside him grow bigger and bigger as he browsed the pictures he’d taken of Camden the night of his birthday. The pictures he’d taken on the Halloween party.

It was three in the afternoon when his father opened the door to Felicity, who greeted him with a loud and cheerful ‘Hi there, Jim. Long time no see’ and walked into Conrad’s room to find him on his bed, staring without blinking at his mobile screen, which displayed Camden’s contact profile.

“You gotta quit that, it’s quite pathetic.” Conrad barely turned his head to look at her.

“But I feel that maybe I _should_ call him.” Felicity sighed as loudly as she could, and rolled her eyes.

“ _I_ was expecting some sort of apology because you totally ditched me at last night’s party. I didn’t see you at all until you walked downstairs with your eyes glassy and your fists clenched.” Conrad opened his mouth to apologise, feeling like such a jerk. But Felicity already knew that, so she put the bags she’d brought with her on his desk and sat by him. “Save it, I know. You’re an idiot, but as I’m a great friend, I came to see how you’re doing. Your boyfriend put on quite the show last night.” Conrad didn’t understand. They’d been alone at the guest room, and no one else but Felicity knew about that.

“What do you mean?” Felicity made a reckoning expression.

 “Riiight. You weren’t downstairs until the party was pretty much dead. Well, turns out he punched some dude that was kissing Amy? Things got pretty messy, she yelled at him, then he yelled back and, basically, there was a lot of yelling. Anyway he broke Amy’s boyfriend’s nose. Also, how _rude_ is that I figured who Cam was because I got to listen to the argument and not because you’d introduced him to me?” Conrad held up his hands to take the guilt in, but Felicity’s story enlightened him and he suddenly felt _the urge_. Third step.

“Wait. Are you telling me Cam fought with Ezekiel and broke his nose?” Felicity nodded. “Oh my God. I have to call him now. Amy must be furious; and he must be devastated.” He took the mobile to unblock it, but before he’d made it past the password’s first two digits, Felicity took it.

“No, no, no. I’m sorry, Conrad, but you have to understand something, honey. You cried on my beautiful fairy godmother dress last night because that little brat decided to call you a prude. I don’t care how terrible his life is right now, but he needs some time without you so he can understand that what he did was wrong.” Conrad nodded, but still felt uneasy about it.

“Lizzie, you don’t quite understand. Amy is his best friend since he was five. He loves her completely and he must feel like his life is about to end. I have to call him and make sure he’s okay.” Felicity’s heart squeezed as she saw his pleading eyes. But it was her duty to remain firm.

“Conrad, my love, I know you want to support him, but if you’re there all the time no matter what he does or says, he’s going to take you for granted, and that’s going to be even more awful.” Conrad stared at Felicity’s green eyes with a wounded expression.

“But, Lizzie, _I love him_.” Felicity swore she would kill Camden Fairchild after that.

“I know, honey-bear, I know. Trust me. That’s why I brought chips and burritos. I also brought The Theory of Everything so we can watch a romantic movie that you’ll actually pay attention to. It’ll be okay, believe me.” Conrad sighed, resigned, and Felicity took out his laptop and brought the bag closer. He didn’t know how Hawking’s love life and scientific career would make him feel any better, but Felicity had never been wrong before.

 

The first person to come into his room and talk to him was, of course, Tate. He was the more tactful out of the two who could carry the heavy tray with his breakfast. They knew there was no way of getting him out of bed when he was sad, and they could only hope for it to be over soon. Tatum walked into his stepson who was under covers, with barely his eyes out, watching Bride Wars. He set the tray on Camden’s bedside table and sat down on the bed’s edge.

“Are you ready to talk?” Tate wasn’t invasive, and he remained calm and objective the entire time, which made it easier to talk to him.

“I messed up.” He mumbled through the sheets. Tatum nodded, and took deep breath.

“Okay.” Camden took his upper body out of the covers all of a sudden, and Tatum had to keep Camden’s laptop from falling off the bed.

“I called Conrad names because we didn’t agree and I was drunk and then I broke Ezekiel’s nose and now Amy hates me and so does Conrad. I’m alone, with no best friend and no boyfriend.” Tatum wasn’t expecting that burst of information but he kept calm and thought of something to say.

“Have you thought of apologising?”

“I can’t apologise, not after what I’ve done.” And so, he sank back under covers and Tatum was certain there was nothing else he could do at the moment. So, he stood up and left.

The second one was Jon, who knocked before entering, only as a dramatic touch, because he was by no means going to be polite and wait for his son to issue a reply.

“I’m not going to tell you off about breaking that kid’s nose because if it was really wrong, his mother will be here at some point to tell you so herself.” Camden looked at him, rather annoyed.

“I’m friendless, dad. What do you want? And I don’t think Goldscheier has the guts to rat me out to his mother.”

“I want you to reconsider this whole staying-in-bed-feeling-sorry-about-yourself thing. You have been friends with Amy for years, son. You can’t let this break your friendship.”

“Turns out it’s not only my choice to make, dad.” Jon nodded and as he saw Camden very eager to be alone again, he stood up and left.

It was Sunday afternoon when Briony decided she had to do something. She’d been bringing Camden comfort food and cans of soda, but as she dropped another muffin at his room, she took it as her duty to fix it.

“Thanks, Briony.” Camden told her as she gave him the muffin. This time, though, she wasn’t smiling at him. She was silently judging him. He knew she was doing so; he’d seen her do it many times before. “What?” He asked, but Briony kept silent, she even smiled. Her eyes kept judging him. Camden could only take his sister’s gaze for so long. “Okay, okay. I got it. I’ll apologise.” Briony grinned.

“I’m glad to hear so.” Camden let out a desperate sigh.

“No one’s going to want my apologies, though.” Briony arched an eyebrow.

“Isn’t there at least one of them who would forgive you if you say you are dumb and you did something stupid?” There was one, and Camden couldn’t doubt it at all. If he’d learnt anything about Conrad’s character, it was that he wasn’t proud, and he would forgive him after a heartfelt apology.

 

Felicity: Apologise.

Camden: Who the hell is this?

Felicity: It doesn’t matter. Just apologise to him.


	19. Chapter 19

Monday back at Eleanor Roosevelt’s was a dim, grey thing for some. Amy wore sunglasses the entire morning, trying to hide her eyes, red and swollen from crying all weekend. Camden had not only to drive himself there, but had to spend the entire day by himself, and even had to have lunch by himself. Conrad spent all morning debating himself between Felicity’s advice and the need to see Camden. He decided he should at least wait for an apology, and so he did. Ezekiel found no way to ease Amy’s sorrow, and had to deal with everyone’s curious looks at the bandages covering his nose. Meryl spent all morning avoiding Levi, who kept trying to get them alone, which she most certainly couldn’t afford.

But to the lucky ones in love, Monday was a day beautiful as ever. Melissa and Raleigh tried to stay away from the drama spending the breaks outside, where it was chilly but peaceful and, beside each other, the cold was a more than a bearable thing.

 

Still, there were some who felt guilty even when no guilt had been attributed to them. Such was the case of Ezekiel, who could only take Amy’s sad expression for so long, half the time thinking it wasn’t only about Camden, but about his behaviour as well.

“I’ve been meaning to say I’m sorry for getting angry at Cam, and make the fight a more serious thing. It’s just that when he called me a bastard… I don’t know, I guess it hit too close to home.” Amy wasn’t in need of an apology from Ezekiel, but thanked him for it, nevertheless. He looked funny, with bandages over his nose, and his cheekbones lined by a purplish bruise.

“What do you mean?” Her face looked rather expressionless with the sunglasses, but he could feel the concern in her voice.

“My father had an affair after he and my mother had the twins. His mistress got pregnant, but didn’t want to keep me. My mum found out about it all, and agreed to take me in. I’m the living proof my father cheated on my mum, but she raised me and loved me. _Loves me_. When I heard that bastard thing I sort of felt he’d somehow figured it all out. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed.” Amy shook her head and patted his shoulder.

“It’s okay, darling. No one knows, and your secret’s safe with me. And even if people knew, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, because none of it is your fault.” Ezekiel hugged her, and Amy was glad she had him. Cam was like a fire, wild and unpredictable, but Ezekiel was bound to be her rock: solid and never fading.

“I understand why he did it, though. You have to be very important to him, and he doesn’t want to lose you. God knows I wouldn’t want to lose you either.” Amy did her best not to cry again.

“I’m glad you’re trying to ease my way into forgiving him, but it’s not that simple, Ez. Cam has crossed a line and I’m not sure if I can trust him the way I used to. I need him to be happy for me, for the decisions I make on my own, and if he’s incapable of it, then there’s no use to forgive him at all.”

 

He got to him right before he got on his car.

“Can we talk?” Conrad didn’t seem very convinced, but that didn’t last long. “Please?” Conrad sat down on the sidewalk, and gestured for Camden to sit by him.

“Sure.” He stared at his hands, because he didn’t want Camden thinking he was that easy. Felicity had been right after all; it wasn’t healthy to run back to him no matter what. He loved him, nevertheless, and he wanted to forgive him, wanted to worship the ground he walked; but to do so, apologies were in order. “So, what do you want to talk about?” Conrad’s tranquillity was alarming to Camden, who had expected him to be upset, or sad, or angry. His calm only made Camden think maybe he was just either too angry, and he’d definitely lost him. Or he was out from this world, and that possibility made him feel guiltier and more undeserving.

The bottom line was that Camden Fairchild could not understand why someone with a good soul like Conrad would care about him. Amy was a saint, if she had stood him that long was because she was too nice for her own good. His family was bound to love him. But Conrad had nothing forcing him to be nice to him. Why bother then?

“I’m a jerk, and I’m sorry.” He didn’t understand Conrad, but the more he thought about it, that very weekend, the more he reckoned he didn’t want for _it_ (whatever it was that made Conrad care) to disappear. He was the best thing to happen to him since Amy. If he was about to lose her, he wouldn’t stand to lose him too. Conrad felt a huge relief, like all his worries and problems had suddenly left him.

“I don’t think you’re a jerk, Cam. Only you should try not to drink too much next time.” _Seriously_ , Camden thought, _what does he see in me?_

“I was one, at least.” Conrad grinned.

“You kind of were.” He took Camden’s hand, peace invading him. “I heard what happened at the party. Are you alright? Have you talked to Amy?” Camden’s gaze dropped.

“She won’t talk to me. I looked for her and couldn’t find her. She’s making it quite obvious she doesn’t want to be around me at all.” Camden looked at Conrad, hopeful. “I was expecting that, maybe, I could come over? I have no one else to talk to and, frankly, I’ve missed you.” Conrad’s smile widened and his hand squeezed Camden’s.

“Of course. Hop on, I’ll drive you.” Camden smiled back, for what seemed to be the first time ever, and it was enough to end all of Conrad’s ache. Oh, he loved him.

“I had to drive myself to school, so I’ll follow you. I can’t just leave the car stranded here.” Conrad nodded in agreement.

 

Levi spent the entire History class in silence. Quiet and still. He observed Meryl with attention and a busy mind. Why was there a mental wall between them at the party? Why hadn’t he gone after her in the rain and hooked up with her in her car? And as he left the room without not even a glance from her, he knew. Oh, he knew. He was falling in love with her, and he was only waiting to feel the madness, to feel the urge. _Next time I won’t let her go anywhere_ , he promised himself.

 

They were on his bed. He was lying on his side looking at Camden, who was resting on his back, and they both stared at the ceiling. They’d just decided to let the Amy topic rest for a while, and talk about anything else, though it was easier said than done.

“Have you thought about college applications?” Conrad asked, after thinking for a while. The silence had been nice though, not awkward at all.

“I have, but I haven’t made any concrete decisions, yet.”

“Have you given any thought to Harvard?” Camden turned around just to look at him with his best ‘Are you kidding me?’ glare. “Come on! I’m being completely serious; I _do_ see you capable of entering Harvard’s law school. If you’re short of points you can always point out you’re gay. They’re all about diversity these days.”

“Get real, I’m not trying the Elle Woods thing. I think Harvard is a bit too much for me.” Conrad nodded.

“What about Yale? New Haven is not that far from Cambridge. We could meet halfway, maybe Hartford?” Camden was having trouble understanding what Conrad meant, so he turned around to rest on his side, facing him completely.

“Are you thinking about us and college?” Conrad panicked.

“Why? Is that a bad thing?”

“No, it isn’t. I just never gave it too much thought, but it seems you have. Quite a lot, I might add.” Conrad lowered his eyes.

“I have, but if the subject isn’t big on you, we can talk about something else.” Camden was trying to decipher the way his mind worked, how under all those blond curls he found time to think about their future.

“No, tell me what you’ve thought.” Conrad smiled.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe, you’d want to apply to Harvard, because then we would be together, but that was a long shot. Most of the time I pictured you somewhere like Brown or Columbia, and us meeting once a month or so.” He traced Camden’s hairline without making the gesture too lovingly. Camden had already refused to cuddle; he wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He was furiously beautiful, with his intense gaze and his turned-up nose, and so he couldn’t hold back completely.

“I was thinking maybe NYU wouldn’t be half bad.”

“NYU it is, then. It is still quite far away, though. I’ll miss you terribly.”

“I wonder how you’ll fill the void.”

“I’m hoping for tons of sexting and never-ending snapchats.” Camden rolled his eyes.

“Of course you are.” Conrad knew the subject had to be brought up, and considered it the best timing he would get all afternoon.

“What is Amy doing after high school?” Camden sighed.

“She was thinking of accepting one of the many offers to entre European conservatories, maybe Italy or Germany. But now that dumbass has walked into the picture I’m not sure I should expect her to move further than New York.”

“Have you thought what are you going to do to apologise?” Camden groaned in desperation.

“The thing is, though I know I screwed up and it’s my civil duty as a human being to apologise, I don’t think I _should_. I was only making clear that I can’t stand that… cockroach, especially when he’s sneaking into her life and ruining all the nice opportunities she’s been given.”

“But you don’t know if he’s going to kill her future, maybe he’ll even encourage her.”

“I don’t know Goldscheier, but I do know Amy. If she stays with him, she’s going to start thinking small, and she’ll trade fame and luxury for a white picket fence and five kids. And Amy is the last woman in the universe born to grow into a housewife.” Conrad sighed loudly, knowing what he had to say wouldn’t make Camden happy.

“Sadly, Camden, I think you don’t have too much of a choice. People in love can be very stubborn, and if she’s set her mind on Ezekiel, maybe you should start thinking on a new set of options. Instead of it being Amy marrying him and ruining her life or dumping him and getting a successful one, the choice is turning into accepting Goldscheier and preserving your friendship with her _or_ declaring war on him and losing her forever. And I’m sure you don’t see it that way right now, but I think you already know her friendship is more important to you than anything else.” Camden punched Conrad’s shoulder. “Hey! What was that for?”

“For being so annoyingly right.” Camden stared into his eyes. They changed colour depending on the day or the moment. He preferred them blue, like they were right then, because it reminded him of the exact shade of blue the sky was when Tatum first brought Briony to meet them, when he first saw Amy on that playground and when his dad had finally decided to marry Tate. Looking into Conrad’s eyes when they were blue was like staring right into the best moments of his life. “Are you ever jealous?”

“Of what? You and Amy?” Camden nodded. “I mean, it’s not like I lack motives, but I am pretty sure you have never stared at her the way you stared at me when you walked into the locker room to yell at me.” Camden smirked. “Also, I’m proud and I like to think I’m rational enough to be above such things as jealousy.”

“Huh.” Conrad looked at Camden and thought he should ask again, even if Camden said no once more.

“You’re sure you don’t want to cuddle?” Camden rolled his eyes.

“ _Please_. Cuddling is for lovesick losers.” _Count me a loser, then_ , Conrad thought as Camden turned to lay on his back again.


End file.
